Hum aur hamari "Hum"

"You did WHAT?" I screamed myself hoarse tripping over and almost breaking my nose on Ina's toy train.

"I really couldn't help it,it was irresistable" PC Man sputtered on the other end trying to desperately convey how he had been taken for a ride bewitched.

"But,But why?Billions of blue blistering barnucles,what possessed you to go ahead?didn't you think of me and Ina at all?And poor,poor Sony" Fuzzy blinked back trying to remove the gnat in her eye tears and demanded fiercly. (Why the billion barnacles you say?well,let's say she just wanted to use that word for a long time and the occassion just seemed perfect )

"Your very dear Sony decided to kick me in the butt leaving me stranded in the middle of a highway. This inspite of your recommendation that playing that annoying bee gee s song "staying alive,staying alive" would get her all revved up everytime" PC Man continued in his most annoyed tone

" So you traded her to THIS?" Fuzzy hissed

"You should have seen this Fuzz. The moment I walked in I knew,what a beauty to behold" PC Man seemed all lost in love.

" Oh,so heavens opened up,bells started ringing and soft romatic score started playing on the background and you went all starry eyed and weak in your knees huh?" Fuzzy continued feeling hurt that PC Man had found true love again.

" Yes,something like that. Oh you should have been there when I took her out. It was like I was the king of the road" PC Man crooned into the phone feeling like the He-man brandishing his power sword.

" King of the road huh?In your moment of glory did you happen to notice how the wily salesman of GM motors was just behind you rubbing his hands in glee, gnashing his vampire teeth ,waiting to draw blood?" Fuzzy retorted

" What?" PC Man waited a moment to think back if the salesman was wearing a black cloak? Nah,he dismissed,he looked like a real nice friendly next door snoring,inviting for lousy thanksgiving neighbor type of fella.

"Of all the choices of cars in the world WHY this?" She continued sniffing a tad bit noisily into her handkerchief.

" This is not a mere car. This is HUMMER,honey" PC Man retorted jumping up and down like the bald guy on "Deal or no deal" clearly having lost his sud and budh in love.

" Yes it is Hummer,a totally unaesthetic,monstrous looking born to drain your pocket machine. And I still don't get it. Didn't you see the soaring gas prices?Why would you want to commit hara kiri?" Fuzzy wailed

" But,it isn't so bad. It is H3 and its more fuel efficient than the other ones. What's more they promised me they would throw in the automatic temp control and 6 cd changer as well" PC Man proudly announced feeling rather smug about the deal he has struck.

" Temp control huh?I think you are gonna need it when you drive it down here from Toronto. You will surely feel the heat as you make stops in all the gas stations possible on your way" Fuzzy was on a roll.

" I bet you went there with D and the RP right? I bet they just egged you on with oohs and aahs and not helping make sane decisions right?What is it with men and machines?" She continued

" Well,ofcourse D and RP were ecstatic. We even took turns driving it around. And you should have seen the response back in the office once the news spread. I 'm supposed to take the whole gang out for dinner in the new Humvee" PC Man could no longer contain his glee and sounding like a kid with a new toy.

"By the way what you did with my poor old Sony?" all the happy memories with their good old hyundai sonata flashed across fuzzy's eyes

"Sony,well I just sold her to Ron. He said he will fix her up well and gift it to his wife M. Don't you dare tell M about this ok.She still thinks he is getting her a nice new car.And before you ask,no I would never dream of doing that to you sweetheart" PC Man said trying to sound mighty considerant

" Poor M,getting a fixed up junk for b'day. And my poor Sony. Traded in for a monster. I still think my Rav 4 is way cooler than your Hummie and gives a better mileage anyway " Fuzzy replied for a moment wondering whether M needs to know this juicy bit of information. Nah,she decided she can always blackmail Ron for this later.

"Rav 4 huh?It's a mosquito in front of my vehicle now. And what's more I can even drive over your RAV 4 and make it a papadam you see"PC Man excitedly bragged

" Oh yeah,I bet you didn't know there is a hummer hate site over the net. I hope you took extra insurance to cover any unknown spooky scratches and slashes that are known to happen with your car" (Mosquito huh?it was time to lit some fire under the PC Man's feet) Fuzzy innocently enquired

"What?really? OMG! the world is full of jealous people" PC Man sounded quite distraught by this revelation.

"Incase you wanted to know honey I have already emailed the address of that site to you. Did you know all Hum owners are known to get unneccessary ticketing as well? It's a big bad world out there. And yes,no need to thank me for the site for giving you nightmares . Me and my mosquito Rav 4 are quite content at helping people this way" Fuzzy smiled as she imagined a sleepless PC Man constantly checking on his new Humvee in the middle of the night for any scratches. No one gets away calling her Rani aka her SUV a mosquito.

Rest of the story to follow.....................

Anyway now Fuzzy household are the proud sad and mad owners of a big monstrous ugly piece of steel and rubber. Bouquets of sympathy or all the best cards please forward them to Fuzzy's mailbox. Any hate mails or rotten eggs please forward them to her better half.