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Perfection Syndrome

Parental expectations can be hard on kids.Lately I've been seeing an increase in that trend where parents really push themselves as well as the kids to the limits of achievement.I have a friend who wants her daughter to excel in every extra curricular activity and what followed was a multitude of classes after school.

The kid attends swimmingclass,aerobics,painting,badminton,classical dance,ballet class and the extra tutorials for her school subjects,the poor kid is all wiped out by the end of the day and is so stressed out because she is expected to ace in all these along with maintaining a good grade at school.She doesn't have time to just play like a kid at that age should.These parents I feel are living their life through their kids.They view them as an extention of themselves rather than an individual and want to live their dreams through their kids.

The kids get enrolled in the best schools,they are given all the things they desire and somehow I feel parents are creating a no tears childhood for the kids.In doing so are they really helping the kids?What kind of generation are we trying to create here I wonder.In trying to be the perfect parents for the kids by doing anything and everything in our power to make life a lot more easier and comfortable for our kids we might be doing more harm than good.Because outside world is less than perfect and the over protection and over involvement will snatch away the ability of the kids to develop any self awareness.The teachers and schools also will have tough time dealing with over protective parents all the time.I had another friend who kept complaining that a teacher at her son's school is not realising the full potential of her son and is not working hard to recognising his talents!She doesnt beleive that her son has perhaps a limited potential and not a genius as she claims.And then there are parents who are seen arguing in football fields about a game between 9 yr olds,who like my first mentioned friend live most of their time in the car transporting their kids from one class to another,parents who just push and push their kids to achieve more and more.All children cannot be Einsteins or Lance Armstrong,every kid has a potential of his own and all are not equal.

As a kid I also had ambitious parents.My dad wanted me to take up medicine ever since I was born.I was an above average student at school and the more I did well in school more the expectations grew.So much that one day I came second in my class (there were no grades in my school,we were all ranked starting from 1)I was scared to go home!I was scared because dad would not be happy that I came second.I cried all the way to home and everyone who met me thought I had failed and that's why I was sad.At that age I feel we are so eager to please our parents,their every smile and cheer means so much more.That day perhaps dad realised he was being a little too hard on me and somehow from that day he was not that persuasive and started being more encouraging and there was lot less pressure.

Maybe before we were not this "child oriented" society.There was never this amount of competition as now.And good grades and achievements of a child were not the scales for measuring good parenting.Certain amount of expectations is perhaps natural and little dose is always healthy.And perhaps some kids do need some encouragement and inspiration to reach their potential but anything in overdose is unhealthy.I remember once the pressure was relaxed I was so much more happier and did so much more better than before.A carefree childhood is every child's right.Instead of suffocating them with our own expectations we should help them develop their skills to cope with the outer world and grow as a individual.Most parents want the same things from their child.They want them to be happy,respect others,be flexible and well adjusted and be successful.The most important support parents can give their children is to communicate that love does not depend on achievements, that they are loved and valued for who they are.

What were they thinking?

Seriously dude!!

Too far sighted

ACCIDENT,n.An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.uh,like mass stupidity?

Friends and Ghosts

They say that "Friendship is a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears".It's so true,especially those who have been your childhood buddies.They also have a way of making your life pretty miserable at times playing all sorts of practical jokes.I have a friend named George who was a master prankster when we were in school.He was the guy who always envisioned a whole scheme and chose his victims carefully and played the whole thing masterfully that even if you were a victim you can't help but laugh at the end of the whole fiasco.I was a victim to one of his jokes the first I got to know him.

I had just moved to a new school and dad was offered a new home just near to the school as a part of his promotion and me(third grade) and my brother (fifth grade) were pretty excited about the whole thing.I also spent the next day telling all my friends about the location of the new home and that it was big and wonderful.George was right there listening carefully as I gushed about my new home and the swing in the front and wonderful big mango trees at the backyard.He later on came to me during the lunch break and with a very serious face said to me

George:Fuzzy,is the home you are moving the big yellow building just a couple of blocks from school?"

I looked up and with a big smile said "yes,that's the one"

George:hmm...it's the one with that big swing in the front and mango trees at the back right?

I nodded my head enthusiastically and said "yes,isn't that cool?I get to have my own swing too.

George: (continuing to sound very mysterious)hmm..Fuzzy,maybe you shouldn't really move to that house.

Me:Why would you say that?

George:well,you are new to this place and you really don't know about it much obviously nor does your dad

Me: why?what's there that I need to know?

George:How do I say this to you?That house is haunted,everyone knows,you know one of the girls at school who used to stay there before committed suicide hanging herself to one of those mango trees.

I was shocked and was now staring at him with wide eyes

George:You know at night you can hear anklet sounds near the windows and right around midnight the swing starts to swing all by itself and the person who lived there once even has seen a white figure of a girl moving around the house.

(Back in India girls wear silver anklets around the ankles which make tinkling sounds whenever they walk)

Me:oh,come on you are kidding aren't you?

George:I knew you would think that,so you don't trust me,I will call Mukesh and you can ask him,you know he doesn' lie

(Mukesh was another friend of mine and he was really silent and decent kid who never messed with anybody and a complete nerd)

He called Mukesh and another friend Chaitra and told the same thing and asked them whether its true.

Mukesh:Yes Fuzzy,its true,even I get a very bad feeling whenever I go near that house

Chaitra:Fuzzy,I have heard a lot of rumours about that girl who died there and I have heard that the anklet sounds which you hear at night is hers only.

I was totally stumped,they were all dead serious and now I was getting creeps about the scheduled moving.

I went back home and told my brother about the same,he didn't believe it but on my insistence he went and talked to George's elder brother Roshan who was his classmate.He came back with the same story and now we both were scared!Now our main aim was to convince our parents about not moving to the haunted house.

Both my parents laughed when we told them about it and said that there's nothing like a haunted house and that we should stop imagining things and get packing.All our pleading fell on deaf ears and soon the day arrived when we had to move.I got a lot of sympathy and advices how to get rid of ghosts and how to identify ghosts by looking at their feet and all the stuff from my friends.

The first night at that house I refused to sleep alone in my room and so did my brother,so my parents said you both can share the room for the night.And me and my brother braced ourselves to a night of terror and possible ghostly encounter and pulled the blankets all over the top and tried to sleep,as midnight approached we heard it,the anklet sounds!it was loud and clear and there was no mistake about it!it was as if someone was indeed walking near the window.I started whimpering and crying and my brother looked as if all blood was drained from his face.

My brother then tried to take a peek through the window and he screamed ,he said he saw the swing move by itself!Both of us started screaming at the top of our voices and my parents came running into our room worried.

They then told it was just the wind and even when we tried to explain that no,the house is haunted and we just had a visit by the ghost,dad really lost it and then asked us who fed us all this nonsense.I told him George told me about it and so did couple of my friends.He said he would like to meet George and my friends tomorrow morning.

I went to school and told them my ghostly encounter and how scared we were and how stubborn and pig headed my parents are being about the whole thing.And my friends kept listening to my tale with a amused look on their faces.When I told them about how we saw the swing move and how we screamed Mukesh couldn't control any longer and burst out laughing followed by Chaitra and last of all George.I still didn't get it and continued to ask them what's so funny about it.George was rolling over the floor by that time.Amidst of his laughter he told me it was all just a joke !!I was soo angry I wanted to kill them all at that moment.I chased them all around the room with whatever I found and they kept laughing.At the end of five minutes I was also sitting and laughing hard with them.This incident ended with George getting to be one of the closest friends I can ever have.Truly "FRIENDS" what would I do without them!!!

We always laughed about it whenever we used to play with that swing and climbing up that mango tree and picking mangoes.All of us cried when we had to leave that HAUNTED home!

P.S:The mystery of the anklet sounds were solved the next day when mom explained to me it was just made by a kind of nocturnal insect.

My clingy lover

I slowly lowered a sleepy Ina safely in her crib,covered her with her favorite blanket and her teddy bear, switched off the lights and closed the door silently.I did a little jig for having done with the last work of the day and finally getting some alone time and head back for living room to catch up on the newpaper which I have been intending to read since morning.As I settled down with it on my sofa the monitor screamed with a wail "maaamma..maaam".
I heaved a sigh and went back to the room to check on her and there she was sitting up in her crib with tears in her eyes and as soon as I reached out to pat her she grabbed my hands and climbed up into my arms holding it tightly and not letting it go even for a second.She buried her little head into my arms and again closed her sleep leaden eyes and I felt her little body relax and go back to sleep.This has been the story for past few days ever since Ina has developed separation anxiety.It's like she wants mommy every minute of the day just with her.It's pretty tiring,it's demanding and sometimes it's frustrating but it also makes you feel so loved.

I know this stage won't last forever and maybe someday when she is a bratty teenager walking away to her room,slamming it on my face and screaming "Mom,I hate you"I perhaps might look back and wish she had separation anxiety again!!I like the way one of my friend said about this stage,it's a stage where your baby falls in love with you and can't let you go.That's such a nice way of looking at it,so maybe I should sit back and take it easy and enjoy having a clingy lover for sometime!!
Talking about anxiety,come next feb I will be heading back to complete my residency and back to the hectic,hustle bustle of work life.This staying at home mom thing for a year was something I had wanted to do whenever I had a baby.But frankly staying at home mom task is no easy one as I have come to realise.I have really developed a deep admiration for my mom and all the stay at home moms who do such a great job.There have been days and times during this one year where I have longed to get back to work and now when the time has actually come near I am feeling sad that the year is going to end.I had a wonderful time watching little baby Ina soon to turn into a toddler.I am now worried how will I stay away from her and go for work.I will surely miss her terribly,miss all those little naps we took,those leisurely walks we went for,the stories we read and games we played,the songs we heard together and danced to,I know by the end of the day I will still come home to her and she from her daycare and we will still have fun but it would still not be the same way as being around 24/7.I will miss these cozy together times,these times when our worlds are centred just around the two of us.I know there will be many more happier times to come also.So as of now I want to enjoy every available moment doing things we both love without bothering about time or the day or a care in the world.Surely at times I wonder who suffers from the separation anxiety more?maybe I know the answer!!

A 5 minute escape

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

My delectable dream

Today I got up with a delicious dream.Nopes it didn't have anything to do with Johnny depp or Hrithik Roshan(For those of you who have no idea about who he is,he is another yummy bollywood actor) but something more sweeter than that!It filled up my senses and was enveloping me from all the sides and I was being magically drawn in its direction almost as if in a trance.The heavenly aroma kept coming more and more powerfully and I followed it with my nose up in the air and it led me all the way to the my mom's kitchen.There she was preparing those yummy yummy goodies,there was my favorite chocolate fudge cake right on the table,there was some fresh bread being baked in the oven,there was hot gulab jamoons being fried and getting a dip in the sugar syrup flavored with cardamom,hot cup of coffee waited on me and boy!was it a good morning!You might think it's a weird assortment for a breakfast...but hey it's my dream so i get to eat anything I want for breakfast!!






Just as I was about to sit and have a bite at those goodies I heard a wailing sound from far.I ignored it and continued to take one piece of the lovely cake and I heard it again this time stronger than before.I continued to block it out of my mind and concentrate on satisfying my taste buds but suddenly someone yelled at my ear "come on lazy bones,its your turn today"and I felt someone yank out my warm cozy blanket and I felt cold air brush my feet and hands.I got up on my bed with a jolt and there it was the reality,with me lying on the bed with no blanket while my hubby was glaring at me and repeated"It's your turn,she is up now ,off you go"I groaned again and looked at the clock,it was showing 4am.Couldn't Ina have waited till I atleast had a bite of that cake?darn!!!

P.S:Please don't ask for any of those recipies of those goodies,I am culinary challenged and can't bake to save my life!it's no wonder I get dreams like this!!

Men and their toys

What is it with men and their unending fascination with gadgets and technology?I have been dealing with this obsession all my life.First it was dad who used to hoard the house with all the electronic equipments he would collect during his voyages and then it was my brother who also shared the same passion but more so for the video games.Is it something in their genes that makes this obsession so unique?After I got married I realised how very much my hubby too was inclined towards this hoarding.I'm technologically challenged,I do have a good know how towards some general stuff and can fairly manage my works on the comp but apart from that I have no special interest in the same,it's not that I was not interested in knowing about how they function etc but I can safely say I never obsessed about them.It's like a infectious disease and seems to affect all those who possess the XY chromosomes.

Two guys meet and I can almost be certain how the conversation goes.
First dude-Hey man,did you just check out the new baby on the block?(no the baby doesn't mean the babe,let me rephrase they are talking about the hot new mobile phone)
Second dude-Oh yes,that's awesome.Thinking of exchanging it for my old one( the supposedly old one was hardly few months old)
First dude-hey did I tell you I'm upgrading my computer with that brand new processor?
Second dude-Really,I heard they are offering them for a discount at the future shop.That would really add to the speed of my comp.
First dude-yes you should get it too,why don't we go check it out this weekend?
Second dude-Excellent idea.I have already made a list of the components and I tell you once I build it it's going to be awesome.
First dude-Also did you know the new PS3 which is coming out?
Second dude-Yes,it has pretty great features,I'm thinking of giving up my X box and getting a PS3 instead,heard it's already been booked in advance even on ebay.
First dude-yes ,by the way did you play that new "gfsderwew" game out on the X box?
Second dude-Nopes ,not yet.Thinking of renting it out this weekend.Heard it has pretty good action.
I mean comeon,these guys have met after a long time,there was no hello or hi ,how are you doing,howz the kids or the family?No,their conversation centres only around these topics more or less.I find it pretty amazing and sometimes it affirms my conclusion that there is closer relationship to this orientation on even a molecular level.I am yet to come across females who are so technically inclined but maybe they do exist and I am not aware.But it could be a good research topic I believe.Maybe it has something to do with feeling of being in control,or the feeling of being powerful I don't know.But men and their toys remain a mystery to me!!!

The man who made me love school

As I was taking a walk down the road I heard a little girl cry"I don't want to go to school" and saw the poor harried mother trying to pacify her in vain and it triggered a memory almost like an instant replay......

It was a bright sunny day,grandma was waiting patiently with the warm glass of milk in her hand and grandpa was busy trying to put the newly polished shoes on my feet and mom was all ready with my backpack and lunch box and I screamed again "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL,I HATE IT" struggling all the way to get my feet off those shoes and throwing out the bag thrust into my hand by mom.I threw it down with a big thud and ran into my room sobbing and screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GO" Mom came running behind me,she was losing patience with this daily drama and held me back and came down to my level and said firmly "No,sweety,you have to go,it'll be fun I promise".Grandma came by and hugged me and wiped my tears and said "It's allright honey,you will have lots of friends there and think of all the games you can play",I looked at them with tears in my eyes and said "I don't like it there,there's no one I know" and stomped my feet and screamed again.It was a week since school had started and I had ended up missing school since the second day,I was so scared they would take me back there and leave me all alone with strangers again.I didn't want to see that back pack,it was a sign of all that was bad.They all looked so worried.Just as mom was about to try again,my aunt came near her and said that there was someone who could help.That was when I saw Mr.Singh for the first time.

He had the most kind eyes I had ever seen.He stood tall and well dressed with a smile on his round face.He came to me and said "I'm Mr.Singh,would you be my friend?"he smelled good and his voice was so calm and sweet.I felt comforted in his presence ,he told me he had no friends and that he had joined a new school and was wondering if I would be his friend.He told me he has a new job as a teacher in that school and he was also scared to go as this was his first day.I remember smiling and taking his hand and telling him I would be his friend from that day.Then it began,a journey that would teach me so many things and show me a whole new world.He was a wonderful teacher,a philosopher and a guide.He would make us laugh and his lessons were never dry,he would always add his own twist to the most boring subject and make it lively.We all looked forward to his class with great anticipation everyday because everyday was a new day .He hated grading the students he always said every student was a grade A student if not in the school he or she had a grade A quality that makes them all number one.

He was a teacher who took time to play with us and share his lunch boxes with us at times.When the other bigger kids tried to bully us he taught us not to take that kind of treatment from anyone and to stand up for ourselves.He was the teacher who would be the last to leave after ensuring all the students had safely been escorted to their homes ,he was a teacher who took time to take a little girl safely back home on a heavy rainy day when school had to declare a holiday due to bad weather and her mom was unable to get to the school on time to pick her up.He was a man of integrity and taught us the same.He genuinely cared and loved children.Last day of the school year and we had fierce competition as to who would stand next to Mr.Singh in the class photograph.But the most shy and reserved kid who had trouble with communication won the spot because Mr.Singh chose him above everyone else.We never felt sad about that but all the more we respected him.

I was perhaps more luckier than the rest of the kids because he remained as that best friend and a guide to me all through the years.He always was there to help me in the times of need and give me advice not only academically but also in many personal crisis.He is now retired but continues to work at the local orphanage.I am sure everyone who were taught by him have taken a piece of him with them.Everytime I go back home I make it a point to visit him.He continues to call me "His little friend" and truly I'm blessed to be his little friend.

As I looked at that little girl with streams of tears running down her face I wished Mr.Singh was here.She walked with her mother still crying and my heart went out to her,I knew for that moment what was it to be that little girl.I truly hope she finds a Mr.Singh who will teach her to love school!

De-stress

Ugh!Ugh!

It's been a stressful day.It's one of those days when everything seems to suck.I'm just about to blow my top today and need to go dunk my head in cold water to feel sane.Not in a mood to talk about it and right now just don't want to give a damn about anything.Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Small packages of happiness

The weather has been so crappy today.Hate it when it's so grey,cloudy and morose.It's as if mother nature has decided to bundle herself up and gone into mourning.Not a bit of sunshine nor a drop of rain but all plain dreary and depressing weather.I don't mind the rains,it's always wonderful.Got to do something to snap out of this mood.So the question is what will help me do just that?

To top it I have plenty of time to kill today,Ina went promptly to sleep after her usual activities without any fuss today,maybe the weather got to her too.Anyway to cheer myself up I thought I'll play a listing game.
To begin with I thought I'll list a few things which make me feel happy:
20.Snowflakes on my face
19.A story with a happy ending (Hey,who doesn't like a happy ending?)
18.Dark chocolate (Yumm)
17.Watching a happy playful puppy (totally adorable)
16.Blowing bubbles (the child in me)
15.Watching the stars on a clear warm night (feeling one with the universe)
14.Fire works (bring it on any day)
13.Aroma of the mud after the first rain (I call it the smell of mother nature)
12.Hot cafe mocha on a cold rainy day (aha!liquid happiness)
11.When Ina calls me "mama" (my chweety pumpkin)
11.When a baby smiles
10.Sleeping in on the weekends (the lazy sloath I am)
9.Smell of the ocean
8.Watching the waves rise and fall on a full moon night (the power of which overwhelms me)
7.Taking a walk on a fresh crisp autumn day
6.Tulips in full bloom
5.Curled up on a hammock on a bright sunny day with a good book (Bliss)
4.Smell of fresh baked bread (Heavenly)
3.Receiving a mail from a loved one the old fashioned way
2.A hug from the man who loves me the most (anytime,anyday)
1.As I watch Ina's eyes light up when she sees me!

There are so many more,maybe another day........great,this list got me all happy again:)I plan to have a great weekend,so should you!!

On my ipod right now:Tom Cochrane-Life is a highway
Life's like a road that you travel on....
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside every darkened Door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate break down the garden gate
There's not much left today
Life is a highway..........
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long

Super market conversation

Conversation today at the grocery mart with the friendly lady at the counter:
Lady: Hi there
Me:Hi,how are you doing?
Ina:mmm,yeee..yeee
Lady: Oh,I hear you dear,I was saying Hi to you too
Ina:mammm,mmaamm
Lady:How adorable,How old is she?
Me:Thanks,she is 8 months old
Lady:(Giving that friendy wide smile)We also have a 7 month old
Me:Oh,that's nice,a little boy or a little girl?
Lady:It's a little girl,Me and my daughter both adore her so very much
Me:They are darn adorable at this stage
Lady:Oh yes,you should see her whiskers
Me(spilling my bag of stuff over the floor):Pardon me ,whiskers? (Not sure I had heard that right,that poor kid!!)
Lady:Oh yes,she's one adorable kitten.
Me:Oh,ok(that figures out about the whiskers part,but darn you lady why didnt you say so in the beginning itself instead of having me thinking we were having a baby conversation! and I'm pretty sure Ina didn't say meow in her greetings )
Lady:Have a good day then,you too baby take care byebye
Ina:Yeeeee,goo gooo(I was still looking incase she said anything remotely resembling meow)
Me:Oh yes thanks,you too
I stepped out of the store still wondering what was that whole conversation about?and how did the cat enter the picture and what the whole connection was.Then slowly I started to laugh,whiskers???LOL!!!whether she was just kidding with me or trying to make a friendly conversation to wile off her boredom of sitting behind the counter the whole day on a murky rainy day I don't know,it sure well did make me smile!!!

It's a wonderfilled world

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

The Big "M" in my life

I'm a huge music junkie.I can't live without my Ipod.It's my lifeline,wherever I go it goes with me.You can maroon me on an island and give me my Ipod and I'll do just fine!!It's been with me through the toughest days to the happiest ones.I have always connected with music on every level of my life.Be it getting drenched in the rain on the way to college or sipping a hot cup of coffee at the local coffee bar,having a good time with my friends and even rocking my baby to sleep,for every smallest of the occasion I have a song.There's memory attached with most of my favorite songs and that's also one of the reasons why they are my favorites too I guess.I admire people who are so talented to compose and play their own kind of music.It's really a gift!
I wish I could put my feelings and life into words and compose it into a wonderful song and sing it!How cathartic that would be!I'm not particular about any band that way,ofcourse I do have a couple of favorite ones but in general I tend to go with the flow,anything that resonates with me,or gets my feet tapping and moving gets me!But I have to say I hate ,hate ,hate hard rock.I just can't connect to it on any level.It's not that I'm into all mushy songs,no I do love rock and roll,alternative,dance numbers but hard rock just doesn't get me.I had friends I should specify male friends in particular who were absolutely crazy about those bands.To me its really too loud,too noisy and when you can't even hear any lyrics which is all drowned in a background of loud instrumental noises, it doesn't make any sense to me or appeal to me.But to each his own!
Back in college it was fun,that was the time any famous band came to town or nearby city we would pack our bags and out we would go,stand in the huge line to get a ticket and get ready to have a night out just to bag the best spots.Back in India from where I come from we never had that many good bands coming to town.So most of the times it was our favorite local bands.The biggest one was when Bryan Adams came to Mumbai in 2001.We were all set to go to Mumbai,I had to beg my dad to let me go,all my friends had to convince their parents to let us go to this one concert and go we did finally.And I was amazed at the crowd,it was HUGE!I had never been to such a big concert ever and the energy was amazing!people were going crazy there.We had a great time crooning and grooving to "Everything I do,I do it for you" "Summer of 69" "Kids wanna rock" all the great legendary songs.It was a big night and we had a wonderful time,it was once in a lifetime feeling we had,we partied hard and had a wonderful time in Mumbai.Till date this remains my favorite memory with my friends.
After having come here to Canada I have been to a lot of concerts so much bigger than the Mumbai one but somehow that one was magical.I tend to associate a lot of things around me to myself,how I feel.I even have this unbelievable sense of smell.My DH tells me I have a nose sharper than a police dog!But doesn't that happen with everyone too?I even have particular smells which remind me of somethings.Maybe its a particular perfume,or a cosmetic cream,a detergent,some particular flowers but if I were to smell it again I can tell you something that has connected with it and has happened with me.I'm crazy in that way.I'm a self proclaimed sniffer dog!There are some weird things about me and this is one of it(there are plenty more,I guess if you stick with me long enough you will notice them)
Talking about songs and my obsessesive tendency to form connections I have a song list for each of my moods.There are songs which I listen when I'm down in the dumps,there are songs that I want when I'm in a jumpy mood,some when I want to just hit the dance floor and some which make me smile.Maybe I will put each of them up once a week on my blog and see whether the same resonates with others too.Right now however I'm going to sit back and get myself lost with my Ipod.I read somewhere that "Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life" and I think that's so true!!As one of the song of ABBA goes.........

"I'm nothing special in fact I'm a bit of a ball, if I tell a joke you've probably heard it before.
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing, cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud all I want is to sing it out loud,
so I sing:Thank you for the music the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing.
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty what would life be,
without a song or a dance, what are we
so I sing thank you for the music, for givin it to me.
Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk,
she says I began to sing long before I could talk
And I often wondered how did it all start who found out that nothing can capture a heartlike a melody can, but who ever it was, I'm a fan so I sing.
Thank you for the music the songs I'm singing thanks for all the joy they're bringing"

This Blog is mine!

Relaxing
Originally uploaded by klownkiwi.

A dear friend who also blogs asked about my blog today.She asked whether my blog was a "mommy blog" like hers.Ok that got me thinking,actually this is not a mommy blog.Yes,it kind of started that way but ended up being mommy's blog rather than a "mom"blog ,if you know what I mean.I had every good intention of recording all the milestones and all that relevant to Ina but frankly I don't remember exactly when she did all those atleast not any dates or anything,she did and I was happy about that.Sometime after I started the blog it became mine,like my own personal space ,a space which gave me a "me" time.I feel everyone should have that "me" time and space.It gives me a place to unwind and ramble on,gather my thoughts and reflect.So this is my blog and Ina will be a part of it just like everything and everyone else are in my life,maybe in bits and pieces like fitting a puzzle piece together to get the whole picture.

Talking about mommies,today one of my very close friend called in telling me she is pregnant!she is 5-6 years my senior but ever since I came to Canada she has been my best friend.It was the best possible news I could get!She and her DH have been struggling with infertility for nearly 7-8 years and I have seen them build and rebuild hopes and go through innumerable battery of tests and upheavls of emotions for a child.They are both kind of people whom when you meet you can just feel instantly that they would make incredible parents.They finally got their dream.It means the world to them and I know how much they have gone through to get to this point.It was a great feeling seeing them excited and happy,it was long overdue.So now it will be finally my turn to host a baby shower!!I pray everything goes smooth for them.God has been kind.

Ode to Jughead

boxer pup
Originally uploaded by nithila baskaran.

I came across this piece of news today as I was browsing around:

It's raining cats and dogs!

A dog that often jumped out the window of his owners' ground-floor apartment jumped out of the window of their new flat forgetting it was six floors up.
Fortunately the lucky dog was saved when it landed on a balcony three floors down from the apartment in Cologne.The dog's owners Udo and Angela Baecker, both 29, called the fire department when they heard their pet boxer whining from the balcony below. They couldn't get him themselves because the tenants were away on vacation."We've only been in the new apartment for a week, but thought TJ would have got used to it after climbing up all the stairs. We never thought he'd try his usual trick of jumping from the window to get into the garden," said Angela.I don't think this dog will be jumping out of any more windows anytime soon.

Poor TJ!I have owned a boxer once and I have to admit they are not the smartest cookie in the jar.They are very sweet and very fun loving and friendly and extremely active.My boxer was named Jughead and when dad had brought him home he was undoubtedly the most adorable puppy I had ever seen and I was ecstatic to have him.Much to the chagrin of my mother who happens to maintain that dogs are nothing but messy and nuisance, our house has always had one or two all the time because my dad and we kids were always crazy about them.As he was growing up he was oodles of fun and we all adored him.Boxers are very people friendly dogs and they need people around them,we didn't realise how much he would miss us when I had to leave home to study at the university and dad and brother left for sailing(My dad and brother both happen to be in merchant navy).Mom used to always say he remains sad all the time whenever I called in and asked about Jughead.Mom had taken up to renovate the home for a while during that time and one day she had kept the paint outside home while she went to get things assembled inside and this was fresh white paint.That day it was a bit late in feeding Jughead and he was hungry.He just happened to walk near the paint and stupid dog thought it was some food and went and dunked its head into the paint and slurped most of it!!Mom came back and she was taken aback seeing his head inside the paint and immediately took him to the vet.The vet did give her some medicine and said we will watch and see and he should be fine.But as days went by my Jughead never became fine again.He developed rashes all over his mouth and couldn't feed for days and we had to get an IV.He then had pneumonia and he got weaker by the day.I was home when he fell ill and took care of him,he would just nustle himself next to me and I would get all teary thinking of his former bouncy self.I had to leave for university again and asked mom to take him to vet again and take care.She did but Juggy never improved,his condition deteriorated and one fine day mom called me and said he is no more.I remember crying inconsolably over the phone as soon as I heard it.It broke my heart and for a long time I didn't want another dog.I still have his pics,will post them someday.But he was truly the sweetest dog I had ever had and I'll always remember him.This is to you Juggy!!I hope you know you were loved a lot and I miss you.

Bumpity Bumpity Bump

There are days which seem to drag on forever and there are days when I feel 24 hours are never enough.To think of it,is there any day I feel was just right?Maybe those days are the ones you never seem to notice or bother about which come and go pretty uneventfully.Anyway today started out to be one of those uneventful days but ended up being pretty eventful.I'm always in a good mood on the eve of Halloween,there's something magical about it that just gets me going.I keep smiling a lot more,giggle a lot more,humming around my favorite song and in general that "I'm good,the world is good,everything is good" feeling.
So I was looking forward to a day of fun and as I said a good uneventful happy day.The first event started off with Ina who has now learnt to pull herself up using the furnitures and being more inquisitive than ever about everything.I had to get some work done and as usual put her up in her play yard so she could keep herself engaged and let me free to do my work for few minutes.After few minutes I looked up to see her happily giggling away and holding something which remotely resembled a tube and with a blob of blue coloured stuff on her face and mouth.I sprang up from my chair and ran to her and snatched the tube from her.It was her dad's cold rub ointment which was now smeared all over the play yard ,on her toys and in her hair and face and mouth.I was aghast!for a moment my heart raced and thousands of worst possible thoughts crossed my head,my baby has eaten this stuff and been poisoned what the hell am I going to do?should I call 911 or should I call our family doctor's office or just hold her and get the car keys and run to ER.I had to stop myself from shaking and then got her to the bathroom and got her face,hands and hair all washed up and changed her clothes and this kind of gave me sometime to recollect myself.Then I saw she was still being normal and her usual self and then seeing the tube she really hasn't eaten much, rather she was just playing with it and smearing it around ,so I put her back in her crib, grabbed the tube and called the local poison information centre and then after some questions and answers I was reassured everything is fine and she will be ok.This ointment didn't have anything harmful other than menthol in low concentration .So it was going to be ok,my baby was not going to be damaged for some negligent act of mine.Ina then went down for a nap and I kept checking on her still to be sure things were all ok and thankfully she was ok.So that was the morning story,but that was not the end.

Next came afternoon,I had to clean up her play yard and since I couldn't put her in there I had to keep her on the floor while I cleaned it and again little Ms.Inquisitive who was playing with her popping ball went around snooping near the table and pulled at the magazine lying on the table and then lost her balance and toppled and hit her nose with that freaking popping ball toy and before I could pick her up to comfort her she rolled again and this time bumped her head again to the damn floor.It was like a nonstop chain reaction.Then started another round of wailing but nothing actually had happened but she got a tiny bruise on her nose.I was losing my mind by then with having accomplished no other work since morning and here was my baby bumping into everything under the sun!I just swooped her up and got my snugli carrier and just popped her in there and grabbed a coat for her and myself and headed out,I needed some fresh air and perhaps so did she.We walked to the nearby park and sat there for sometime watching the birds and squirells running around and after sometime we made peace again.She started giggling as some kids came to her and made funny faces.Seeing her smile again I also felt my frustrations slip away and I also felt better.After that we headed back home to get her prepped up for her first Halloween.She looked adorable in her fairy dress but refused to wear the tiara and the wings ,I let her be.Soon Ina's dad arrived and we dressed up and took our little fairy with her tiny bruised nose for her trick or treat.It was nice and wonderful night with all the kids around the neighborhood running around,a clown passed us by and so did a group of pumpkins followed with darth vader,R2,D2 and a Jedi knight.Ina screamed in delight as a tin man and Dorothy pinched her cheeks.She was offered a lot of candies and she came home loaded with them and was ready to open a packet and demanding to see what's inside.It was the magic of Halloween again!and yes finally that"I'm good,the world is good,everything is good"feeling was back along with the a lesson that when you are a parent change is your friend,just when you think everything is fine ,everything changes again.Everyday brings in a new challenge,you learn with every mistake.But it's also precious because come to think of it we are helping create memories both for Ina and for ourselves.And yes the tube should never have been thrown into the play yard thinking we could pick it up in the morning!