Sound off

Weekends- What's that??Sounds familiar, I must surely have heard it somewhere..perhaps some eons ago. Is that thing still around?

Halloween- Oh #$%^!did it really pass me by? No wonder why I thought I was hallucinating seeing witches and vampires fly in and out of ER that night. Thank god,I thought I had totally lost it.

Diwali- Yup?heard it just whistling past me as I was performing a CPR and trying to revive someone from the dead with a bang,thump and a shock.

Howz the weather there?- Who knows and who cares. All I know is whether I can still manage to get my coffee from that freaking machine on my call night.

Obama!Mc Cain!- What?Are these some new consults waiting for me in ER with some chest pain?And yes are they willing to exchange a few call shifts with me for the exchange of my vote?Then yes ring them in. What?my Canadian votes doesn't count a thing eh?Then I'm going to let our free roaming polar bears and grizzly bears loose on you for wasting my time with this question!%^&*

Yep somewhere under all these rants there is still that fuzzylogic who hopes that she will come out of this mind blowing hectic crazy CCU rotation intact and in a single piece. The madness will end in a few weeks and she should be able to get back 2 kivilization outslide the hopsital spoon. zzzzz..............

Happy Diwali

Let the lights usher in happiness and more
with new adventures and new dreams to explore
Let there be unsurmountable joy
May each and every day you enjoy
With lots of love and wishes I greet
Pray my friends may all your coming days be sweet

Have a wonderful and fun filled Diwali!!

Ms. Fix it

I like to consider myself as a handywoman of sorts. Maybe not in the league of I-can-fix-damn-near-everything sorts but somewhere near the types who know their way around the plungers and know how to get the car at least towed to the mechanic when at a complete loss which is all the time . I blame my handywoman impairedness to my genes and the environment I was raised in. The most handy deed I have done as a child was perhaps to climb up the roof with the rest of my cousins trying to valiantly hold the antenna in various positions while my dad and bro co-ordinated a big plan of fixing the blurred picture of our antique television. The most exciting part of that for me was a chance to exhibit my Neanderthal skills by out climbing my cousins the fastest to the roof. Apart from those exciting times I pretty much spent all my life in a nice well maintained residential colony where my dad was in some position to pick up the phone and call the maintenance man who was a big guy with a very impressive moustache and a big hearty laughter called "Meese (meaning moustache in Kannada) mama".

Every small leak and a spurt or a squeak in our house we just picked up the phone and called the moustache mama and he would smilingly arrive massaging his treasured moustache which he reportedly tended with most TLC and daily olive oil massages. What's more I was also his favorite in the colony and being a puny little creature I was eons ago which bear absolutely no resemblance to the present me in the weight department whatsoever he was a wee bit protective about me and I always always used it to my advantage. Whenever any big kids including my brother and a elder cousin gave me grief all I had to do was raise my voice and threaten to call my bodyguard aka meese mama and after a few episodes of running around the colony drenched in water to save your life with a big hefty guy with scary moustache chasing you around with a stick they quickly learnt their lesson not to mess with me.

My mom sadly is not a handywoman by any standards. She could I tell you courageously crush a cockroach and a spider while I screamed like a banshee and run and hide under the bed at the sight of them but when it came to fixing and being hands on oh boy!was she bad! Till recently also I and my bro had to deal with many a international calls while she was trying to get her head around the new cell phone thingy and not to mention the way she almost drowned the house while trying to try fixing a pipe in the bathroom. You see with all these influences it's a miracle I turned out to be even a wee bit handy myself. Perhaps I should credit it to my dear dad who unfortunately is no more but certainly shook his head in resignation after seeing his daughter try in vain for the nth time to build a school project which looked more like a caricature than an actual house. He had declared that fateful day that his daughter was to become a physician as she had absolutely no talent whatsoever in making her mark literally as a engineer. I followed his advice religiously depending on the likes of meese mama to fix things for me.

But all that changed again after PC Man made an entry into my life. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a super handyman amongst handyman. For our first date the dude actually made me a notebook binder resembling a floppy disk! irrespective of the fact that the act qualified him as a bonafide nerd and some of my girlfriends thought that was geeky as hell I was just giddy by the fact that he actually made it all by himself with his own hands!that never happened in my family people!The last thing I ever made with my own hands were those girl scout paper greeting cards which I was so proud of but no one in the school wanted to buy:(. This guy not only was smart as hell but actually fixed things and made things! he was an alien creature and a handsome looking one too. I thought of all the money I could save not having to hire any electricians,plumbers,mechanics and computer geeks to fix things for me. But alas,little did I know that not only did he do things himself he actually also expected poor old moi to follow the suite in years to come.

So through the years he has been trying in vain to genetically reprogram me to make me a handywoman. It has included various lessons about how to gracefully solve instead of trying to scream at the screen and threaten to dis articulate it with hammer computer glitches and how there were other parts of the car that need to be checked when it stops purring like a cat and has me growling like a tigress shouting obscenities at the maker of the car. I have been taught and retaught how to change a tire and fix a faucet and use the power tools. His confidence in me is unnerving. He still has hopes after I glued myself on the floor trying to fix the bathroom and drilled a hole right through the wall cutting out the cable connection to the entire building for one whole day while trying to hang up a family pic or locked myself out of the house trying to fix the lock. He is my Mr.Miyagi and I'm his karate kid,he is my Obi wan kanobi and I'm Anakin Skywalker and he is my Morpheus and I'm his Neo. What can I say?the guy lives in futilistic futuristic hope.

Lately however my mentor has not been pleased with my progress in the handy-dandy area. Without his supervision I have in his opinion become lazy. Can you believe that?Me,lazy?just because I am obsessed lately with sleep,food and drink 24/7 because I'm constantly deprived of all of them most of the time makes me lazy? *sad,hurt big pout* And all this because I called upon the CAA one day to change my tire and left the railing of the wooden bed unfixed lying around the bedroom for a whole month till he came and made him fix the bed and use the precious time to do very important things like catch up on those tivo episodes of "Canada's worst handyman" and "So you think you can a dance" and pretend dead on sofa .

Trust me I tried. I have trouble following instructions that come with these furniture things. Even though PC Man claims they are supposed to be without words so anyone who even can't read can follow just the pics and assemble them. I have trouble figuring them all out in a 3 dimensional pattern and visualize. Most often I spend hours after hours trying to reassemble the parts because the chair seems to be collapsing onto one side or the table seems totally crooked and don'teven get me started on the cot. The fact that the furniture guys left out a pair of iron bed frames along with the wooden frames just for fun leaving me utterly confused while I tried to diligently fix using them both is my fault?Hmph!

Anyway in spite of all past absymmal diasastrous projects I was determined to prove my handyman prowess to my husband this week. Me and my mom bought a microwave stand and I decided that this will be my DIY and prove my mettle in home maintanence to him. I spent agonizing hours trying to figure out which of the n number of different shapes and sized nails and their accompanying paraphernalia goes to which wooden piece,assembled it all upside down and then ripped them apart and re assembled them while trying to resist the urge to throw them all down the garbage can at one point. Finally after relentless 3 hours of labor mops of sweat,buckets of swears and some fattening potato chips the product was ready to use. All you perfect handywomen and men out there please don't ask me how the doors actually are totally misaligned and why are the door hinges nailed outwards instead of inwards and why is the cart in general bit too dainty on its wheels?oh!by the way they have NO wheels because I forgot to fix them early on and later didn't want to risk it given its delicate position. Anyway it is functional and that's what it matters. See I'm not a bad handywoman. I am a woman and I used my hands and I think that rightfully makes me one handywoman. Now just heave a sigh of relief that I am not a surgeon.

In a haze and a daze

Scene at a bustling ER as we ran around trying to hide inside supply closets ward off calls after calls one call night as Mr. Obese Dude was wheeled in to give us a master card moment of the day.

An expensive Rolex watch- $600

A nice Armani suit-$300

A get together with friends at a fancy restaurant - $1000

Totally dunking yourself with 1 bottle of tequila,3 martinis,1 large purple haze and innumerable margaritas going totally "tull" losing all your senses - $800

Fighting off the paramedics with masterful mock Kung-fu moves while being wheeled into the ER.

And insisting on majestically tottering your way into the bed pushing off help proclaiming you were the real heir of the British throne ...

Only to end up walking straight into a rigid wall, breaking your nose and your knee cap before passing out with your head stuck inside another patient's bowl full of vomit....

As you question us and the nurses in wide eyed wonder what the hell happened the next day afternoon - Priceless!

My nerdy life

Because I'm a nerd and because I have an exam coming up and need to pass out and snore hibernate behind books for few days.

Weekly on call ramblings episode 3$%67

"OMG!OMG!no response at all.I'm just a first year student and I have no clue what to do. Can someone Help!Help" A distressed inexperienced voice calls out

"Do you think she's dead already?" one voice asked

"Nah, maybe she is just in a coma" the smarter pompous voice answers

" Does she have a pulse?" a concerned voice asked

" Do you think she is in a cardiac arrest?Let's do CPR NOW" a biceps flaunting beefy voice intruded

" OMG!do we need to call a code blue then?" a naive and excited medical student voice rang from the crowd

" Quick,grab the paddles,get an IV Line and pump in some oxygen" A enthusiastic voice replied

" Where's my advanced cardiac life support manual,F%^&!there's no way I can do this without it,who the hell remembers all those algorithms man" a lazy voice rang in panic

" Can I shock her please,I have always thought that it was such a cool thing to do" a filmy House,Grey's anatomy enamoured voice pleaded

" Let's intubate her. She should be a breeze. All that work and exhaustion I bet she won't even need anesthesia" A experienced voice volunteered

"Make way you wimps,what the hell are you all doing here. Haven't been reading up those beefy bulky research journals have you?No idea about the latest diseases and diagnosis huh?How will you pass your final exams? This is so totally my game. Make way to the expert" A elderly authoritative voice boomed across the room scattering everyone to the corners and making the poor medical students pee in their pants.

In amidst of commotion he makes a quick phone call and few seconds later an extremely annoying making you want to strangle it and stamp on it up and down till its dead loud "beeeeppp beeeeeeep beeeeeep" sound right next to the presumably dead and comatose body of a white coat clad female. Miracle happens and with a sudden burst of energy Fuzzy the comatose resident jumps up with a start and rubs her eyes and aims a volley of choicest words at the most annoying machine in the world, shakes her first at everyone,heaves a deep sigh and staggers aimlessly out of the room.

"Aha!amazing na. Look at the recovery na,veerrry imppressive" a excited South Indian accented voice resounds.

" This my students is what we call residentio-comatosa. Learn to recognize the signs and always know how to treat it. But I have to warn you the people inflicted with this can be pretty dangerous especially after a month of every 3rd day calls.

Never handle hot liquids of any form when they are around,never stand in their way and yes never never try to take things from them. They are also seen incessantly demanding coffee or caffeine of any form and known to damage dead coffee machines shaking them and trying to get back their wasted $1.25 in the middle of nights.

If they try to harm you just wave a blanket or point a empty bed or a chair or just any empty space and they will just melt away become meek like kittens and slip back to the comatose state. Suggest to take away their pager for a day and they will start dancing like they are on the show "So you think you can dance" and salivate and lick kiss your hands and feet or whatever body parts you wish to offer at that point of time. No cure has been found as of yet but it remarkably wears off by itself at the end of 4 years"

A wave of impressive groans resonates through the room. A quick scribbling is heard as all the newbies take notes and the professor grins widely with that "I'm way more smarter than you all" look. A subdued sound of snoring is heard distantly as a residentio-comatosa takes hold of another sleep deprived resident.

Hum aur hamari "Hum"

"You did WHAT?" I screamed myself hoarse tripping over and almost breaking my nose on Ina's toy train.

"I really couldn't help it,it was irresistable" PC Man sputtered on the other end trying to desperately convey how he had been taken for a ride bewitched.

"But,But why?Billions of blue blistering barnucles,what possessed you to go ahead?didn't you think of me and Ina at all?And poor,poor Sony" Fuzzy blinked back trying to remove the gnat in her eye tears and demanded fiercly. (Why the billion barnacles you say?well,let's say she just wanted to use that word for a long time and the occassion just seemed perfect )

"Your very dear Sony decided to kick me in the butt leaving me stranded in the middle of a highway. This inspite of your recommendation that playing that annoying bee gee s song "staying alive,staying alive" would get her all revved up everytime" PC Man continued in his most annoyed tone

" So you traded her to THIS?" Fuzzy hissed

"You should have seen this Fuzz. The moment I walked in I knew,what a beauty to behold" PC Man seemed all lost in love.

" Oh,so heavens opened up,bells started ringing and soft romatic score started playing on the background and you went all starry eyed and weak in your knees huh?" Fuzzy continued feeling hurt that PC Man had found true love again.

" Yes,something like that. Oh you should have been there when I took her out. It was like I was the king of the road" PC Man crooned into the phone feeling like the He-man brandishing his power sword.

" King of the road huh?In your moment of glory did you happen to notice how the wily salesman of GM motors was just behind you rubbing his hands in glee, gnashing his vampire teeth ,waiting to draw blood?" Fuzzy retorted

" What?" PC Man waited a moment to think back if the salesman was wearing a black cloak? Nah,he dismissed,he looked like a real nice friendly next door snoring,inviting for lousy thanksgiving neighbor type of fella.

"Of all the choices of cars in the world WHY this?" She continued sniffing a tad bit noisily into her handkerchief.

" This is not a mere car. This is HUMMER,honey" PC Man retorted jumping up and down like the bald guy on "Deal or no deal" clearly having lost his sud and budh in love.

" Yes it is Hummer,a totally unaesthetic,monstrous looking born to drain your pocket machine. And I still don't get it. Didn't you see the soaring gas prices?Why would you want to commit hara kiri?" Fuzzy wailed

" But,it isn't so bad. It is H3 and its more fuel efficient than the other ones. What's more they promised me they would throw in the automatic temp control and 6 cd changer as well" PC Man proudly announced feeling rather smug about the deal he has struck.

" Temp control huh?I think you are gonna need it when you drive it down here from Toronto. You will surely feel the heat as you make stops in all the gas stations possible on your way" Fuzzy was on a roll.

" I bet you went there with D and the RP right? I bet they just egged you on with oohs and aahs and not helping make sane decisions right?What is it with men and machines?" She continued

" Well,ofcourse D and RP were ecstatic. We even took turns driving it around. And you should have seen the response back in the office once the news spread. I 'm supposed to take the whole gang out for dinner in the new Humvee" PC Man could no longer contain his glee and sounding like a kid with a new toy.

"By the way what you did with my poor old Sony?" all the happy memories with their good old hyundai sonata flashed across fuzzy's eyes

"Sony,well I just sold her to Ron. He said he will fix her up well and gift it to his wife M. Don't you dare tell M about this ok.She still thinks he is getting her a nice new car.And before you ask,no I would never dream of doing that to you sweetheart" PC Man said trying to sound mighty considerant

" Poor M,getting a fixed up junk for b'day. And my poor Sony. Traded in for a monster. I still think my Rav 4 is way cooler than your Hummie and gives a better mileage anyway " Fuzzy replied for a moment wondering whether M needs to know this juicy bit of information. Nah,she decided she can always blackmail Ron for this later.

"Rav 4 huh?It's a mosquito in front of my vehicle now. And what's more I can even drive over your RAV 4 and make it a papadam you see"PC Man excitedly bragged

" Oh yeah,I bet you didn't know there is a hummer hate site over the net. I hope you took extra insurance to cover any unknown spooky scratches and slashes that are known to happen with your car" (Mosquito huh?it was time to lit some fire under the PC Man's feet) Fuzzy innocently enquired

"What?really? OMG! the world is full of jealous people" PC Man sounded quite distraught by this revelation.

"Incase you wanted to know honey I have already emailed the address of that site to you. Did you know all Hum owners are known to get unneccessary ticketing as well? It's a big bad world out there. And yes,no need to thank me for the site for giving you nightmares . Me and my mosquito Rav 4 are quite content at helping people this way" Fuzzy smiled as she imagined a sleepless PC Man constantly checking on his new Humvee in the middle of the night for any scratches. No one gets away calling her Rani aka her SUV a mosquito.

Rest of the story to follow.....................

Anyway now Fuzzy household are the proud sad and mad owners of a big monstrous ugly piece of steel and rubber. Bouquets of sympathy or all the best cards please forward them to Fuzzy's mailbox. Any hate mails or rotten eggs please forward them to her better half.

Gift of life

Warning: Proceed at your own risk,I don't guarantee laughs on this one.

How do you tell a 18 year old and his hopeful parents that their only son has end stage illness and has only a few more months to live? It's something you know is inevitable and you also know it's something you just cannot change no matter how hard you try. It's something we are trained to do but yet no matter how many times you might have done it,it's as tough as it always has been and perhaps worse. You dread these moments which make you feel helpless and suddenly the white cape you proudly wear seems to weigh you down with its heaviness. He shows you those beautiful sunrises he masterfully captures in his canvas and the new jersey he fought tooth and nail for so he can wear it for his next playoff match. How do you tell him that probably that playoff won't happen? All I know is I'm expected to look into those anxious,hopeful and tearful pair of eyes tomorrow and give them those answers however painful they will be. For today he stops me in my tracks as I run around the hospital with no awareness of the world outside the white walls and asks me to watch that beautiful sunset through his small hospital window. It's beautiful he says and as I gaze for the first time in months through that window beyond the white walls, I am stunned by the way the silvery sunlight reflected on the lake surrounded by those myriad colors of the the festive trees in all their fall glory giving it all a wonderful picturesque feeling,serene,calm and somehow so comforting.
I feel suddenly thankful for that moment and as I leave he calmly thrusts one of his paintings into my hand and says "Something to remind you to keep looking at those windows". Thanks R, I think I always will.

Flawed logic and cockroach

Conversation between a couple who are presently doing the long distance thingy.

PC Man- "So me and D went out for dinner today"

Fuzzy- *Enjoying the third helping yummy pudding her mom made* "Oh!good for you. Where did you go?"

PC Man- "We thought we will go back to that Hakka place near the mall ,you remember?"

Fuzzy- *Appalled* "That place? I thought we had decided we would never go back there after they served us that bowl of soup from hell"!

PC Man- *with a pause* Well,it had good beer

Fuzzy- *Thinks "Men!what a bunch of irrational species"* Of course,it has to be all about the beer!So then what happened?"

PC Man- "We ordered some Hakka noodles,chicken friend rice and some lip smacking chicken lollipop...but then we found a dead cockroach amidst it"

Fuzzy- *stops stuffing her face with that pudding and almost gags* "Ewww...I told you that place is evil. Eww...tell me you guys gave them a earful for such disgusting service"

PC Man- *hesitates a bit* Well, we did but we thought we could go ahead and finish the pieces before that you see"

Fuzzy- *Hears the faint dying cry of her appetite* "Eww..good god!what possessed you guys to go ahead and still finish it in spite of a dead cockroach in your food? "

PC Man-"Just hear me out. Look,we gave it some thought. We had two choices

1. Stop eating and complain about it. They would just apologize and replace it with another plate

2. Finish the plate and then complain about it. Then they would feel more sorry and maybe waive the whole dinner off

..So we put our heads together and by logical thinking we decided we will go ahead and finish the plate and then complain"

Fuzzy- *Absolutely speechless at the logic* So did it work?

PC Man- *clears the throat* Hmm..not exactly.

Fuzzy- Why,what happened?

PC Man- "Well,we finished the delicious chicken" *Fuzzy cringes on the other end* and called the waiter and showed him the lifeless body to him and dramatically complained. But then the owner came by apologized and we just got another complimentary plate of chicken free.

Fuzzy- So essentially your plan didn't work?

PC Man- "How can you say that?we still got another plate of yummy chicken lollipop free!" *shaking head at the utter dumbness of his wife*

Fuzzy- *Shaking her head also at the other end in utter disbelief* "But you essentially ate 2 plates of cockroach infested chicken without getting any money back?"

PC Man- "We got one plate free..and anyway it was after all a small cockroach. Gary (for people who don't know this famous creature- He is PC Man's hero who lets himself loose in some wild forsaken places and shows people how to survive by eating absolutely disgusting pieces of any fellow live creatures that he can find) eats even things worse than this and you know I'm just preparing myself to survive anywhere.

Fuzzy- "Tell me ,please tell me you didn't eat any part of the cockroach?"

PC Man- "Well,I don't know,it sure did look like it was missing some whiskers and a eye"

Fuzz- Ewwwwww........Ewww.....

PC Man- *thoroughly enjoying the whole conversation* D perhaps got the crunchy part

Fuzzy- You guys are monsters. Maybe the poor cockroach was just making it's way home from work tired and weary to a family waiting for its return saying "Honey..I'm hoommm..."snap!Now the poor wife must be fighting back tears this minute and singing "I will survive..." they don't even have Gucci bags and Fendi shoes in cockroach land to comfort her. *Loud sniff*

PC Man- No no,no...

Fuzz- Maybe it was a young cockroach going to meet its fiancee with good news " Sweetheart, my parents agreeee....squish and smack!One moment of effusive happiness and the next moment the parents attending the shoksabha and printing obituary columns.. really sad *sniff sniff*

PC Man- Stop it now

Fuzz- Maybe it was a mommy cockroach going to pick up its younger one from daycare. Think of it there's a tiny little baby cockroach alone waiting for mommy to come *makes crying noises* "Mommy..where are you"

PC Man- I think I get the point Fuzz...

Fuzz- Maybe it was a baby cockroach who had just lost his way from school....it was walking trying to figure a way out and just when a good Samaritan was about to cross the road and help the little guy.....

PC Man- *Interrupting urgently* OK,that's it now,I'm already feeling guilty, Happy?

Fuzz- *Grinning on the other end and congratulates herself for mission accomplished but continuing to sound morose* I hope at least you and D pray for that poor little soul..may it R.I.P. May it have a better life in heaven.

PC Man- You want us to erect a memorial too I presume?

Fuzz- "Nah, prayers should do just fine"

PC Man- I knew somehow telling you this would be a bad idea from the start...

Rantings of a sleep deprived kind

Some random rants:

Dear hospital starbucks lady,

Thank you for sneakily making that last thumbprint scone disappear from the tray before the guy in front of me got his dirty hands on it making a post-call me wrestle him on the floor ,scratch him and snatch it from him , and kindly offering it to me. You are a gem!

Dear bad haired cafeteria guy,

"Oriental mixed vegetables" huh? Have you even been to the Orient? I doubt a overcooked hapless looking tasteless and shapeless gooey mass of broccoli,beans and carrots in some watered down god forsaken yucky sauce ,with a occasional snow peas thrown in to highlight the Orientalness qualify for it. And you kept serving more and more vulnerable hungry victims luring them telling it was an "exotic" dish??Exotic I don't know it sure deserves to be antiqued as single most vile tasting substance EVER and labelled as toxic and unfit for human consumption. 5 $ for this abominable thing as well!You rip off! I have developed a mortal fear for anything oriental now and scarred for life! Thank you very much.

Dear Patient #243
I love opera too dude. I was all aware of your obsessive fondness for it too. You made it all too clear when at 3 am you chose to talk about the laryngeal muscle anatomy of Pavarotti for 1.5 hours instead of telling me about that "severe,unbearable" headache and hearing loss in one ear that brought you to ER urgently. But was it really essential to reinforce it all by blasting my eardrums to high heavens , choosing to break into a high shrieking cacophony just when I had all my ears glued to your lipid laden heart through my stethoscope? Hearing loss you said? Now that makes two of us. Just to clarify matters for future encounters when I say "don't speak"it also means "don't sing,or shriek or howl" ok.

Dear Ms G,

I have a incurable case of "ora pediaitis" aka "My big foot in my mouth" disease. I am genuinely sorry for mistaking you for your 89 year old mother's sister the other day. And what's more for not noticing how that made you go pale and continuing to talk to you addressing you about your "sister". Your mom was however extra nice to me after that and had a big smile throughout the day. She even offered me a half of her property and her pearls dinner invitation someday which I of course declined if that's of any solace.

Dear Neighbor,

I don't know what is it that you do. But from all the looks of it I assume that you do some sort of carpentry work. With your suspenders and a hose pipe you seem like a pretty nice fella. But,but what is up with nocturnal carpentry dude?Let me make it clear, just because Ina loves her tele and rather loudly sings "Bob the builler, can you fixsh it?" doesn't mean we love those nocturnal carpentry adventures you have going on every day. It really doesn't affect me because I'm capable of sleeping even if the house is on fire which once I really did but I have people in my house who are such light sleepers and are detrimental to my sleep . I would rather appreciate if you worked like normal people doing all the hammering,bolting,squeaky creaking noise that you do because I'm a raving, scary dangerous muderous lunatic less than pleasant without my sleep. Hopefully my mom's icy cold stares and her gibberish Kannada abuses have had its effect on you and conveyed the message. Trust me you don't want to make her angry!We don't want bloodshed,so cut the nocturnal carpentry musicals willya!

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P:S: disclaimer: Anything written as sleep deprived rants are just that. Please take everything with a pinch of salt (unless you have high BP *hits on the hand* no salt for you).

Mr.Froggy's day out

It was a nice,bright sunny evening when myself and Mr. Froggy went to the park. Mr. Froggy was a new resident of my toyland and was still feeling quite shop sick and was taking time to adjust to the new environment. Hence I thought a park would do him good.

Having lived all his life by the shop window sill ,at first Mr. Froggy was quite scared of the swing and slide and preferred to lie low and watch and learn from the master

What's more grandma was annoyingly paranoid that I was an accident waiting to happen all the time. Half the time was spent in trying to get her off our backs and let us run our moneky business.

But I took Mr. Froggy under my wing and showed him how to have fun on the slide . I showed him some neat tricks how to give grandma a weak heart by sliding down on the tummy and at times with my legs up in the air.

And to ignore Grams and do everything that she insists you shouldn't do

Like performing dangerously nifty climbs on the poles

Like climbing over to a much neater bigger kid slide instead of the boring ones meant for us

Like performing somersaults on the sand and insist on pulling a doggie's tail and see whether we can piss him off

I also showed Mr. Froggy how to pump some iron and build strong muscles by swinging like a monkey. Afterall he needed all the muscle power to wrestle with the older bullies and survive in my toyland.

Mr.Froggy finally overcame his fears and build enough courage to take to the slide. What's more he did it without holding to the railings. I was sooo impressed with his antics!He proved he was a worthy addition to my elite toyland. Bravo Buddy!

Later we both screaming "Whee..whee" loudly tumbled around the sand like couple of drunken sailors.

It was such a fun day folks!Someday you ought to join us and see how good a entertainer teacher I can be. If you would like come the next time just let me know.. Pst...pst..we can drug leave paranoid grandma and huffing puffing mommy at home and have a great time! Are you up to it???

On call ramblings

Hospital corridors look pretty menacing in the nights. They are lonely,dark and eerie and at times make such perfect backdrops for any horror movies.

Infact sometimes when it gets a bit depressing I even fancy myself as a ghost floating around the corridors singing "Aayega..aayega...aayega aane wala call...aayega aayega" What's more with my scrubs and white coat,my chewebacca hair and tired long face I think I make a pretty convicing one too . (Special note to RGV : Are you listening dude? I am ready to sign the contract as long as you can promise my hair will be all shiny,silky and straight like all your ghostly leading ladies. And if you can get Hritik as well to play the co-ghost that would be just awesome. Pst..pst..if you need a swim suit shot being a horror movie I think I can pull it off as well,trust me I look scary as hell in them too sans makeup. So think how much scarier I can look with some make up. (Lavs,maybe I will be the one making it to that list of yours:)) I can also easily pull off the zombie look too dude,I don't even have to try hard for that especially if you keep that shoot after when I'm post call. If you are game just page me through the switchboard of the hospital ASAP and rescue me. And just to warn you,they make baingan bharta with my last name beating it to death so just ask for the fuzzy haired lazy fuzzy doctor and they will know.Bhool na nahi ha?)

Just the reverie of myself in a movie with Hritik gave me a poetic inspiration that call night. I imagined him chasing me around the IV infusion stand with his nerdy glasses and sthethoscope strumming a guitar and we were singing... (bear with me for all the stupid lyrics,remember I was on a sleep deprived on call night and yes feel free to join in with the chorus,to the tune of "Pichle saat dino mein" from Rock on)

Meri laundry ka yek bill...Kis bimari ka kaunsa pill ..ta na na na.. na na na na
Teri pager ka number...meri resident project ka paper....ta na na na ..na na na na
Meri drunken patient ka swing, teri haath ka ye engagement ring
Pichle saat dino mein teen (on call) raat nahi soya, Kabhi khud pe hansa mein kabhi patient ke saath roya

*Heavy guitar strumming*

Khane ko bhi kuch na mili,cafeteria bhi thi nahi khuli.. Ta na na na.. na na na na
Agar khula hota us ghadi, waise bhi uska food hai sadi... Ta na na na ..na na na na
ER mein aa rahe the itne cases, Hum bhi bhaag rahe the saare places,
Pichle saat dino mein teen (on call) raat nahi soya, Kabhi khud pe hansa kabhi patient ke saath roya

Ta na na na ..... chorus

On call ka agla din dopahar aaya, grand rounds mein chup chup ke soya.. ta na na na....

Phir bhi bajti rahi pager, kuch major problems the kuch minor ...ta na na na

Mere senior ne kaha aake tab, ghar bhaago tum log ab,

Pichle saat dino mein teen (on call)raath nahi soye,ab ghar jaake blog wog karna hai karo ya phir so jao

Ta na na na...Na na na na...

Just when I was so revved up with my poetic inspiration the dreaded sound came first in low pitch and then in an increasingly annoying pitch "BEEP!BEEP" and it was time for some productive work again. It was 2 am and a patient ironically was experiencing insomnia. *Sigh*