Sound off

Weekends- What's that??Sounds familiar, I must surely have heard it somewhere..perhaps some eons ago. Is that thing still around?

Halloween- Oh #$%^!did it really pass me by? No wonder why I thought I was hallucinating seeing witches and vampires fly in and out of ER that night. Thank god,I thought I had totally lost it.

Diwali- Yup?heard it just whistling past me as I was performing a CPR and trying to revive someone from the dead with a bang,thump and a shock.

Howz the weather there?- Who knows and who cares. All I know is whether I can still manage to get my coffee from that freaking machine on my call night.

Obama!Mc Cain!- What?Are these some new consults waiting for me in ER with some chest pain?And yes are they willing to exchange a few call shifts with me for the exchange of my vote?Then yes ring them in. What?my Canadian votes doesn't count a thing eh?Then I'm going to let our free roaming polar bears and grizzly bears loose on you for wasting my time with this question!%^&*

Yep somewhere under all these rants there is still that fuzzylogic who hopes that she will come out of this mind blowing hectic crazy CCU rotation intact and in a single piece. The madness will end in a few weeks and she should be able to get back 2 kivilization outslide the hopsital spoon. zzzzz..............

TGIF!!!

There are times when I wish I could clone myself and get all the things done on time.This week has been insanely busy. Everything in the universe seems to be conspiring to make me a slacking blogger. Hopefully I ought to get back to my regular blogging self sometime next week. I won't be making you take a dip in my current cup of woes.Oh well,you guys are here anyway ,might as well take a sneak peak into the cup while you are here :)

It's been crazy at work as well as home added to which the lady M ,the lovely caring caregiver of Ina decided to get remarried and move to States (Why,oh why?) Part of me was happy for her but the other part (probably 70% and the self centered selfish side) was aghast at her decision of leaving me with no caregiver for Ina all of a sudden. It's so hard to find someone whom you can trust and leave your child with and this lady M was the best I had found. She was god sent as Ina took to her very well and M was a natural with kids. Now I hate to begin the whole painful process again. Though this time around we are considering daycare rather than homecare the search has not yet yielded any results. So pray for me that we do find a good one which we can be happy about or for lady M to drop the idea of States and convince her new husband-to-be to move back here( which sounded much less meaner than wishing she would drop her new HTB itself). *the angel floats over Fuzzy's head screaming "Bad,Bad Fuzzy" *

Anyway on a more cheerful front it's the Harry Potter month!! And I can't wait for the 21th for the last book to come out(ofcourse I have pre ordered it).Yes,I'm one of "Those" who religiously await and go into hibernation of sorts when the books comes out,severing all contact with outer world until I finish the book. Though the last book left me heartbroken with the death of a beloved character I'm now ready to read the final chapter of the finest series of fantasy written in the recent times and say goodbye. I'm off this weekend to catch on the movie even though I feel no movie can do justice to the original books.

Here's to a great weekend!have a good one!

A photographic tale

I hate having my photos taken,especially the passport kinds which are expected to be so specific like how you grin,how little or more you grin or sometimes you don't grin at all,how the hair shouldn't fall on the shoulders,how your ears should be seen (I don't understand the concept,what has ears got to do with getting my passport or my I.D?Are they the next probable weapons in terrorism?Here,I can't see your ears,I bet you have hidden the bomb right there) how you should keep your neck straight and not tilted even little towards one side etc etc. So I went again to get the dreaded deed done as I urgently needed such painful photographs. I sat there fidgeting a bit,the solemn looking guy came with the camera and asked me "are you ready?" I thought "I am as ready as a patient about to get his teeth pulled".He then gave his instructions "You look straight ahead at the camera now and do as I say".

I sat there hoping this will be done in one take. He then said "hmm..you need to tilt your head a little to the left" so I did,next came "No,no,not that much,just a little " ok,my head sprang back to the little tilted position he wanted. Next "Oh,no no this time it is tilted a little more to the right,not so much". Damn my neck,I wish it came with screws so I could just tilt it to whatever position he wanted and fixed it right there. I just grit my teeth and complied . He said "Keep it that way only" I felt like retorting "Just wait, let me hand it over right to you so you can tilt in anyway you want" . Next second "No,no,you can't smile,this particular one requires you to have a serious look,no smiles not even a slight grin" hmm.would a murderous look do?that I think is pretty serious!anyway so wiped out the grin and kept the serious look. You know it's somehow uncanny that just when people ask you to have a serious look on your face you just can't do it. Anyway somehow reminded myself of the laundry I had to do and that got back that serious (read as bored)look on my face,I heard a click and finally thought this is it,I'm done. But no.He said"Oh,no,there's one strand of hair near your forehead and one on the shoulder,we have to do it again" WTH?couldn't he have seen it that time itself,I thought cameras had the thing called lenses which enlarge the view. So it began again after I tried to keep my unruly frizzy hair in control. But now flow was interrupted so it was time to do it all again "No,not to the left,little more to the right,no,not that serious look,you blinked!look straight,did you just roll your eyes?lift the chin up a little,oh,not that much,now if you would just not be so serious,lower the shoulders a little more,now we have it,no,again there's that little bit of hair,yes just hold that,here we go at last" and then all I could sense was a bright flash of light on my tired neck and face and FINALLY we had a photo which fit the specifications,Hallellujah!

I went home after getting myself a Tylenol and a cup of my Starbuck's white hot chocolate (I need some heavy duty calories when I am in distress) and the photo don't ask,it looks as if I am an escaped convict. The only thing that's missing is that name board and a lateral view of the same. Stupid specifications!why can't people be smiling?why can't they just look normal and not like some pissed off robots?Honestly if there was something I could change in this world I would ban such photographs,let people submit their funniest and most pleasant photo, so even if I get pulled over by the cop or the customs or the immigration officers anywhere atlaeast the photo will convey how sweet a person I am!

And there is second set of photos I don't like. When you attend wedding especially if you happen to be the bride and groom. This is another extreme where you are expected to do nothing but grin,grin,grin till your facial muscles reach their point of exhaustion.Then there are those sessions again with the same "look up,look down,turn to the side,keep the hands this way,keep the legs this way,smile,look thoughtful,look into each other's eyes,hold the hands blah blah" it's a pain. More so if you are an Indian traditional hindu bride!there are the henna photos, bangle photos,the hair photos,the jewellery photos,the reception photos,the ceremony photos,there's simply no end. It was during that time I felt a deep sympathy for the celebrities who are constantly in the limelight,the pressure ought to be enormous!No wonder they go and cut off their hair and go bald.

The third hated category are people with new cameras,its like a new high,they go berserk taking photos. It's as if everyone immediately becomes the official National geographic or fashion magazine photographers. They sit,stand,sleep,contort every possible muscle in the body to get that coveted photograph,if you are unfortunately the subject of their photograph god help you.They will make you pose near trees,flowers,waterfalls,monuments,the commands are always the same "little bit to the left,little to the right,look up ,turn little to the side,hold that flower near the face " there is nothing which makes me feel more stupid than posing holding flowers or something near to my face. Most of the times I end up scowling at such enthusiastic photographers and that itself says that I am no photographer's delight . Added to the set of enthusiastic photographers are the brand new parents,the poor baby gets assaulted left,right and centre bombarded with camera and camcorders from the time it wakes up till it goes down to sleep,there are photos when it poops,when it pees,smiles,cries,burps and coos. Actually I am guilty as charged too in this category,not so much as everyday and every waking moment but we do have a sizeable album and collection of Ina's photos as well,atleast until her absolutely smitten parents come to their senses or she can learn to put her feet down and refuse:)

But all said and done photographs are really wonderful way of capturing the moment but they ought not be imposed,I like the ones taken when people are at ease and doing what they love doing just in that rush of the moment. And there's certainly something about sitting on a rainy day at home sipping a cup of tea and reminiscing old moments looking at photographs together. But I still hold the same feelings towards the photos which are hazardous to my temper and my neck. For such photos I wish I could decapitate my head for a moment and place it so they could take it any angle they wish,afterall its just a head shot isn't it?well,that sounded pretty gruesome,I knew I shouldn't have watched that horror movie I saw last night:)Now you can throw eggs at me as I say "say cheese"!

Weather obsessed

After facing another crappy weekend and speaking from underneath 10 inches snow,I'm convinced God certainly has a sense of humor.A early spring was forecasted by the groundhog,possibly the poor creature misread the whole weather,or forgot to send a cc of its email informing its views to the Personal Assistant of God..or perhaps God just laughed when the PA gave that message and decided to chuckle and have some more months of fun.Imagine if you yourself were in charge of the whole universe how burdening a job it can be.It would be like caught in a control room 24/7 without any break ,what with all the prayers and stuff being poured into your ears day in and day out(remember that scene from Bruce Almighty).It's definitly not an easy job and not to mention a fun job.I guess every once in a while everyone needs their break and winter was created for that purpose.It was perhaps the time when all the staff above in heaven get their heaven break and go for their holidays.God perhaps puts the whole thing under cruise control and relaxes.All you have to do most of the time perhaps would be to fiddle around with the snow and cold control switch board,sometimes make it max sometimes get it intermediate, sometimes if we are lucky get it to the min.On this fine weekend I bet God told his PA to go for his much desired vacation to the demoted Pluto with family and cheer the poor fella up.He would have settled back on his plush sofa with a Jack Daniel's in hand and switched on his Big screen TV which telecasts the whole winter woes live and enjoyed the show.I bet the sights of the foolish homo sapiens who dig and shovel snow every day from the drive way and the streets only to get another heapful of the same the very next day is a sort of entertainment.I can imagine what with all the sorbid tales of the other part of the world this gives God much needed break.Afterall all work and no play makes even God a dull boy!Probably they all held a small party this weekend and they thought why not create a stir by throwing another snow storm onto these people and make it more lively to lighten up the party.Maybe even Sun dropped by with the Al Gore's "Inconvenient truth" hoping to get his Solar power utilization bill some more favorable attention.My guess is the "Inconvenient truth" caused some more inconvenience and the snow storm was inevitable!And as they cursed us homo sapiens for being so uncaring and making a mess of planet earth they just happened to see a bunch of homo sapiens along with family and friends venturing out for a much planned ski trip."Look at these people,they always find a way to make the best of the situation" we ought to teach them a lesson and show that they can't mess with nature.God bellowed "Let there be a fire in that refinery so these creatures don't get the gas for their cursed vehicles" and then there was a fire in the nearby refinery.I swear wherever the homo sapien family went all gas stations hung out a board saying they are out of gas!Being stuck in the middle of a highway with a low running gas and no gas stations supplying gas is what's called entertainment!There might have been a loud cheer.Anyway the family did manage to sell an arm and a leg at the next gas station and managed to fill the gas.
"Huh,now see what I do to you humans" a voice perhaps said in the party above,and next turn they took they found that the highway was now blocked because of ice falling from the CN Tower!So the poor souls had to waste another 2 hours in traffic to just get back home.And back home they came to a power outage of few more hours!yes,there was divine modus operandi folks I swear.Anyway I certainly hope they are enjoying their much desered break.Next week also the homo sapien family is venturing out for another planned trip..I guess another party and entertainment is in the cards for the heaven folk.Wish the poor fellow sapien souls some luck.

By the way I still have some good news to share.We are soon going to be hit by a heat wave.Yes you heard it right,it's not any hallucination of my cold addled brain but atleast if we are to believe our weatherman it is very much going to happen.We are going to hit a high of 37 degree F(3 degree Celsius),I bet there will be a whole lot of casualities that day,people will probably run out of their homes in shorts and waving their shirts over their head and all babies will throw their much hated caps and parkas in air as a symbol of some freedom.I am sure it will be a wonderful sight.But then I don't trust this so called weather network.They are hand in glove with the divine modus operandi.They always manage to give wrong information at the right time.The other day they forecasted a warm,nice balmy weather with some sunshine,the fated homo sapien family happily went out to enjoy the weather and what happened,they got soaked in a downpour,so much for the sunshine and warm freaking weather prediction!Another day they said it's going to be very cold with a windchill of -20 and we all huddled inside our homes expecting a frigid bad weather but what happened?it was one of those warm,pleasant sunny day.I have a feeling even they are probably share holders at the entertainment department of Heaven.If you don't believe me just watch those weather men and women the next time.Which fool would smile from teeth to teeth as he says "Outside it's a pleasant day but just a windchill of -20,so bundle up when you get out" or greet people with a wide grin in the middle of raging hurricane as if its a celebration!I really have nothing against them but I would sure like to tell them how I had to clear some "Partly cloudy and clear skies" from my driveway again!I would love the job too if I can get to say all my made up stories instead of the lame" The satellite image reveals that some uncertain weather is headed our way(yep,tell me about it),it's going to be a pretty cold day (Duh)there are going to be some snow in the morning giving way to some flurries in the afternoon (gist being snow all the time)bundle up when you go out (another Duh)".If the grinning widely is a technique to soften the blow or just plain goofiness I don't know but it sure as hell is irritating at times.

Here is a helpful little guide to give you some hints on how to tell when your weatherman is lying to you.

1.His mouth is open and he is grinning widely than before.
2.It is freezing cold outside but the weatherman assures you that the temperatures are going to warm up and be beautiful by the weekend.
3.It has been raining for days but the weatherman assures you that the weather is going to clear up and be beautiful by the weekend.
4.When he is telling you how nice it is going to be in a couple of days he gets that little smirk on his face that you just know means "Ha ha, sucker, none of the words coming out of my mouth right now are anything even slightly resembling truth."
5.He starts trying to explain things using advanced meteorological terms that even he doesn't understand to try to explain why the weather is doing what is doing.
6.As soon as the weather report is done he turns it back over to the anchors as fast as he can before he bursts out laughing uncontrollably.

So beware of this divine comedy being staged during winters!

Anyway hope your weekend was much more productive and fun!

Sickness rants

The flu bug has struck my home.And it has hit not only one but 2 whiny babies.One is a little one whom I had to squeeze through a narrow passage of my body and the other is a big whiny one who is incidently married to me.So both of them huffed and puffed,whined and moaned,frankly it was hard to distinguish between the adult form and the infant form of suffering.Honestly I think most married men revert back to their infant form when they get sick.The first bout of cough will make them see stars and couple it with a runny nose they think they all have to curl up now and die.Both demanded attention and frequent nursing.One would bellow for milk and one would look up with puppy eyes and exaggerate his cough and ask "Honey,I am too sick and I can't move,could you pass that tv remote for me?" Oh ya,didn't you hear of tele therapy for cold?it's really read as television-therapy for cold if you get the drift.While I went on to wipe the snot from the little one's nose the elder one would be next asking me to get some tissue and whether I could call and order some chinese hot and sour soup for him.I assure you he would take a bullet like a man,lift that heavy crowbar and exhibit his muscles,single handedly fix the car and the bathroom fixtures but give the man a flu and he will crumble into a mushy pile of human remains confined to the sofa under a blanket.

Him:(with a loud moan )Honey,can you call the office for me and tell them I won't be able to come for few days?

Outer me: yes will do that

Inner me:The phone is right there next to you,when you can reach for the remote then probably you can reach for that sucker and do it yourself!

Him:Why is she crying?is she hungry?

Outer me:Yes I think so

Inner me:No,I think she is just having fun eating her snot,and is just filling up her reserves so she can regurgitate them back into the bottles and drink later when she is really hungry

Him:Uggh..my throat hurts so bad....could you make that ginger pepper tea,mom used to make it all the time for me when I was sick

Outer me:Yes I will do it once I feed the baby and put her to bed

Inner me:%^&*!

Him:Uggh..my head hurts now,this ginger pepper tea is not like what mom makes,I think you forgot to add something and why is she still crying?didn't you give her the medicine?

Outer me:I don't know

Inner me:#$%^^^#$@!Yes I did forget to add something called as "Learn to appreciate" in that damn tea!And as for the baby she had just written on the floor with her snot that she just felt bored and wanted to cry!

Him:I'm soo tired,do you think this is cancer?

Outer me:The doc did say it was just a flu

Inner me:Cancer!#$%^&,if this is cancer by this standards I SHOULD have ceased to exist long long back and died of Metastasis!I really need to get the pacifier from the little one's mouth and stuff it in yours!

I am really not too unreasonable,I don't mind the tea,or the soup,or the extra blanket,or even a cuddle when my man is sick.I do love the guy but seriously guys should come around with labels of warning of how they can relapse into those momma's little boys who whine and mop around when they get sick.By the way did I mention I was sick too,no probably because I never got to enjoy my sick days lying around on the sofa watching tv,catching up on sports,huddled in a warm blanket without doing a thing for 3 days,getting served in bed,sipping nice warm tea not having to deal with the wiping snot,butts and feeding,changing,entertaining a sick crying baby and sleeping whenever I wished to.Hey that doesn't sound sick to me,it is a freaking luxury cruise vacation!The most I managed throughout the ordeal was perhaps a hour of an afternoon nap when I had successfully knocked out both the whiners into their beds but only to be interrupted by a call by the mother in law who wanted to tell me how to make that ginger pepper tea for her loving son and was surprised that being a mom I was sleeping my butt off when her big baby and her small grand child were both feeling unwell!what a blasphemous act!After the phone call I realized I couldn't afford the luxury of enjoying a sick role anymore.

Moms don't get sick,they just get over it in a second.

Another day in winter wonderland

It's a freaking cold day here in Toronto!it's crazy,the weather network predicts the current cold front is going to continue for a week,hear that people?one more week!7 days,168 hours,10080 minutes,604800seconds!yes you bet I am whining:(I think I just earned my right to whine:(
I don't think its bad to have winter around,seriously its not the wind chill and the cold getting to my brain and making me delirious to say this.But in a week or so yes the possibility can be high that I might be making some incoherent posts due to the cold finally getting to me!
So what happens usually when the temps vary in this part of the world.This was exactly the subject of this funny forward a kind friend from the warmer part of the world sent me.It made me feel a little better:)

An Annotated Thermometer

60 -- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find them in their wardrobe).

50 -- Miami residents turn on the heat.

40 -- You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.

35 -- Italian cars won't start.

32 -- Water freezes.

30 -- You plan your vacation to Australia.
Minnesotans put on T-shirts.
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless.
English cars won't start.

25 -- Boston water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.

20 -- You can hear your breath.
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacations farther south.

15 -- French cars don't start.
You plan a vacation in Mexico.
Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.

10 -- Too cold to ski.
You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 -- You plan your vacation in Houston.
American cars don't start.

0 -- Alaskans put on T-shirts.
Too cold to skate.

-10 -- German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 -- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick their tongues on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 -- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off the roof.
Japanese cars don't start.

-25 -- Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 -- You plan a two-week hot bath.
The mighty Monongahela freezes.
Swedish cars don't start.

-40 -- Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 -- Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 -- Hell freezes over.
Polar bears move south.

-90 -- Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.