Weather obsessed

After facing another crappy weekend and speaking from underneath 10 inches snow,I'm convinced God certainly has a sense of humor.A early spring was forecasted by the groundhog,possibly the poor creature misread the whole weather,or forgot to send a cc of its email informing its views to the Personal Assistant of God..or perhaps God just laughed when the PA gave that message and decided to chuckle and have some more months of fun.Imagine if you yourself were in charge of the whole universe how burdening a job it can be.It would be like caught in a control room 24/7 without any break ,what with all the prayers and stuff being poured into your ears day in and day out(remember that scene from Bruce Almighty).It's definitly not an easy job and not to mention a fun job.I guess every once in a while everyone needs their break and winter was created for that purpose.It was perhaps the time when all the staff above in heaven get their heaven break and go for their holidays.God perhaps puts the whole thing under cruise control and relaxes.All you have to do most of the time perhaps would be to fiddle around with the snow and cold control switch board,sometimes make it max sometimes get it intermediate, sometimes if we are lucky get it to the min.On this fine weekend I bet God told his PA to go for his much desired vacation to the demoted Pluto with family and cheer the poor fella up.He would have settled back on his plush sofa with a Jack Daniel's in hand and switched on his Big screen TV which telecasts the whole winter woes live and enjoyed the show.I bet the sights of the foolish homo sapiens who dig and shovel snow every day from the drive way and the streets only to get another heapful of the same the very next day is a sort of entertainment.I can imagine what with all the sorbid tales of the other part of the world this gives God much needed break.Afterall all work and no play makes even God a dull boy!Probably they all held a small party this weekend and they thought why not create a stir by throwing another snow storm onto these people and make it more lively to lighten up the party.Maybe even Sun dropped by with the Al Gore's "Inconvenient truth" hoping to get his Solar power utilization bill some more favorable attention.My guess is the "Inconvenient truth" caused some more inconvenience and the snow storm was inevitable!And as they cursed us homo sapiens for being so uncaring and making a mess of planet earth they just happened to see a bunch of homo sapiens along with family and friends venturing out for a much planned ski trip."Look at these people,they always find a way to make the best of the situation" we ought to teach them a lesson and show that they can't mess with nature.God bellowed "Let there be a fire in that refinery so these creatures don't get the gas for their cursed vehicles" and then there was a fire in the nearby refinery.I swear wherever the homo sapien family went all gas stations hung out a board saying they are out of gas!Being stuck in the middle of a highway with a low running gas and no gas stations supplying gas is what's called entertainment!There might have been a loud cheer.Anyway the family did manage to sell an arm and a leg at the next gas station and managed to fill the gas.
"Huh,now see what I do to you humans" a voice perhaps said in the party above,and next turn they took they found that the highway was now blocked because of ice falling from the CN Tower!So the poor souls had to waste another 2 hours in traffic to just get back home.And back home they came to a power outage of few more hours!yes,there was divine modus operandi folks I swear.Anyway I certainly hope they are enjoying their much desered break.Next week also the homo sapien family is venturing out for another planned trip..I guess another party and entertainment is in the cards for the heaven folk.Wish the poor fellow sapien souls some luck.

By the way I still have some good news to share.We are soon going to be hit by a heat wave.Yes you heard it right,it's not any hallucination of my cold addled brain but atleast if we are to believe our weatherman it is very much going to happen.We are going to hit a high of 37 degree F(3 degree Celsius),I bet there will be a whole lot of casualities that day,people will probably run out of their homes in shorts and waving their shirts over their head and all babies will throw their much hated caps and parkas in air as a symbol of some freedom.I am sure it will be a wonderful sight.But then I don't trust this so called weather network.They are hand in glove with the divine modus operandi.They always manage to give wrong information at the right time.The other day they forecasted a warm,nice balmy weather with some sunshine,the fated homo sapien family happily went out to enjoy the weather and what happened,they got soaked in a downpour,so much for the sunshine and warm freaking weather prediction!Another day they said it's going to be very cold with a windchill of -20 and we all huddled inside our homes expecting a frigid bad weather but what happened?it was one of those warm,pleasant sunny day.I have a feeling even they are probably share holders at the entertainment department of Heaven.If you don't believe me just watch those weather men and women the next time.Which fool would smile from teeth to teeth as he says "Outside it's a pleasant day but just a windchill of -20,so bundle up when you get out" or greet people with a wide grin in the middle of raging hurricane as if its a celebration!I really have nothing against them but I would sure like to tell them how I had to clear some "Partly cloudy and clear skies" from my driveway again!I would love the job too if I can get to say all my made up stories instead of the lame" The satellite image reveals that some uncertain weather is headed our way(yep,tell me about it),it's going to be a pretty cold day (Duh)there are going to be some snow in the morning giving way to some flurries in the afternoon (gist being snow all the time)bundle up when you go out (another Duh)".If the grinning widely is a technique to soften the blow or just plain goofiness I don't know but it sure as hell is irritating at times.

Here is a helpful little guide to give you some hints on how to tell when your weatherman is lying to you.

1.His mouth is open and he is grinning widely than before.
2.It is freezing cold outside but the weatherman assures you that the temperatures are going to warm up and be beautiful by the weekend.
3.It has been raining for days but the weatherman assures you that the weather is going to clear up and be beautiful by the weekend.
4.When he is telling you how nice it is going to be in a couple of days he gets that little smirk on his face that you just know means "Ha ha, sucker, none of the words coming out of my mouth right now are anything even slightly resembling truth."
5.He starts trying to explain things using advanced meteorological terms that even he doesn't understand to try to explain why the weather is doing what is doing.
6.As soon as the weather report is done he turns it back over to the anchors as fast as he can before he bursts out laughing uncontrollably.

So beware of this divine comedy being staged during winters!

Anyway hope your weekend was much more productive and fun!