Happy Halloween

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Sleepless rants

Up for another night due to Ina.Why,oh why is that stupid tooth not coming up yet?Isn't 3 days in a row time enough for it to decide it had enough of being cooped up between gums and now its high time to rise and shine literally speaking!Maybe this devil tooth is waiting for halloween night to come out.Anyway we are up and Ina's dad is taking his turn in comforting my fussy baby so what does the mom do?Well she gets on the comp to blog!! But hey cut me some slack,I've been up with an incessantly crying baby and haven't been able to catch a good amount of sleep required for a normal functioning human being for 2 nights .I had to hum "rock a bye baby"for nearly 100 times because that somehow used to make her quiet for few minutes and now I've decided I won't sing that song for another week atleast for sure after I caught myself humming it even in my bathroom!!I have to deaddict myself from singing that song!!It has made a permanent place in my head now and I can't seem to get rid of it! So you see,I'm not really in the best of my moods and I feel I don't even need to dress up for halloween,I look zombie enough as it is right now because another night out today will be perfect and sans makeup I'm ready for Halloween.
Ok,just now Ina's dad came and told me she is doing fine and seems to be settling down to sleep also YAY!!(Thank you sweet lord!!).But we will wait for some more time now till she falls asleep to be just sure.He said he will go stay with her till she falls asleep so I can do my blogging for sometime in peace(He is such a sweetheart,I'm lucky to be married to this wonderful guy truly).
So where was I?Yes trying to blog and cheer myself up.Yesterday it was fun ,we had gone out for lunch with one of our friends family.They have a hyper active son of 7 years who has recently developed a healthy appetite to read all the riddle and puzzle books and then quiz any victim he finds accessible.Well for the afternoon there we were his victims for the day.He is really adorable little boy but sometimes his quizzes do get on your nerves after sometime.But yesterday it was kind of fun,I had fun answering his halloween quiz and infact we enjoyed it.Here are some of those,see if you can answer these yourselves and feel free to add on incase you have some new ones.
1.What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...
2.Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...
3.Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...
4.What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein(I liked this one)
5.What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...
6.Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation ...
7.What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

I found another cute one sent by one of my friend:
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

I'm winding down for the day.Ina's dad just came in and told it's all clear!so we can finally go and sleep.Gudnite and peace!


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Teething and a story

Ina is teething, yesterday night she was up all night sleeping on and off so it was a night out for me and Ina's dad. Poor kid, she kept whimpering and looking at us as if asking us "why are you guys just looking at me, help me mommy" My heart went out to her, but apart from nice cuddles and Tylenol and a teething ring and lots of kisses I couldn't do much to lessen her discomfort. Somewhere at around 1 she was really restless so we took her out to the balcony. It was a calm cool night and we wrapped ourselves well and sat there in the balcony for sometime looking at the stars and Ina's dad telling her a story of how the stars were formed and why the sky is so full of them. She almost forgot her pain and started smiling and we had a great time.

I remembered my dad telling me stories at bedtime, it was perhaps my favorite ritual of the day. He was a funny man, he would make up stories about the scary neighbor and tell us how she makes magic potions inside her dark chamber and how she has witches visiting her during the night flying on brooms and me and my brother would sit and listen in rapture. This particular neighbor hated kids and used to shoo us off from anywhere near her home and lived all alone and cribbed endlessly about how noisy we kids were. In his stories dad even told us that she keeps huge pots of gold under her basement. We young kids believed his stories to be true that we went and shared it with the other kids and now we had a secret mission to try to see the witches who visit at night and check if there is indeed pots of gold in her basement. One such day we were playing ball and it happened to fall in her garden and so me, my brother and another neighborhood kid ventured stealthily into her garden and were about to pick it up and get back when she caught us and screamed bloody murder! we panicked and the other kid even started crying and she threatened to call police if she caught us anywhere near again and we ran from there thinking "oh yes, she is definitely a witch":)She actually got fed up with the noisy neighborhood and moved out after some years, the day she left dad told us she flew with her broom!:)And come next Halloween she will be visiting everyone who troubled her!!
Ok, my dad perhaps was not right in telling us about our neighbor that way but somehow that story still lingers with me and now when I meet my dad and brother we still laugh about it.Ofcourse I have warned him not to repeat that particular story with Ina, I have really good neighbors:)By the way Halloween is here and the party has begun, so have a great Halloween!!

Passing through the past

Cobwebbed memory
Originally uploaded by this.ordinary.life.

Today a little birdie told me that there was a email from someone I used to know long long back.I checked in to see that it was true.And with that mail came a deluge of past memories.Ok,to cut to the chase this mail was from a friend who used to my best best friend at high school but we had a major fall out by the end of college due to a guy.She had a major role to play in that escapade and backstabbed me in such a way I had nightmares of having a close girlfriend for years to come.So she writes to me asking me whether I could put it all back and just be aquainted again.I thought about it,it's not that I had held on the past and I now know that whatever happened happened for good but unearthing something that I have let go and moved on this far ahead was something I just didn't want to do.Though I have put it all behind me the effect it had on many a relationships which came by later lingered on for a long time and I don't think I could forget it.I'm really not a person who believes in forgive and forget.Maybe forget yes but forgive hmm...that's not that easy.So all said and done I decided I didn't want to get reaquainted in any way with her and just deleted the post.Did i do the right thing?Would you forgive a person who kind of tarnished the image of friendship and back stabbed you and then turned around and asked for forgiveness?Do reply if you can and it might be interesting to hear what everyone would say.
I truly believe that "you can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present"because I have personally experienced that myself before I realized the futility of doing so.This applies to any painful experiences of the past,ex boyfriends,ex girl friends,ex anyone.You got to let go and let it be for the future to come to you.All this past talk has made me giddy with memories, I have to go and get a coffee and check on my little one to get me back to the present and sms my true best friend and catch up on some hot gossip.Life will be normal again in another few minutes and I'll be back where I truly belong!

Innocence

Innocence
Originally uploaded by cybercassie.

Being a kid is perhaps the best stage of life.Life is just so simple.The innocence is endearing and carefree.But nowadays I feel as I read about the crimes committed on innocent children whether its still the same world where we grew up.Somehow now kids seem to grow out of their innocence much faster than they should.I grew up in a residential colony where my dad used to work as a engineer,it was such a memorable time of my life.Lot of young families and lots and lots of kids of same age,we used to have a blast.We used to simply take out at dawn break and roam around the whole colony carefree in our bicycles till dusk.We would hit any one's house in the colony for lunch and play there till we drop.Our parents never had to do any background checks on the parents of kids at whose houses we played,everyone just seemed to trust everyone.Can I think of being the same way with Ina,absolutely not!I cannot even imagine letting her go and play at anyone's house without having known them personally and long enough for me to be comfortable to let her be there.And what about those evenings when we used to go all by ourselves to the playground and watched movies at the open air theatres we used to have in the colony?we used to be surrounded by strangers all the time and who would come up to us sometimes and talk to us.I dont know maybe it was a different era and all this when I'm not even that old to talk about "in my times"!!

Now in this day and world you suddenly realize how tough it is to protect our kids from all those crazy and mad people who seem to crop up everywhere.I for one cant fathom how deranged they should be to harm a innocent child and even look at them with such perverted thoughts.But the fact is it's a bad world and we are aware of it and that frightens me to no end as to when my kid will venture out there on her own!The only way we can deal with it is by being extra careful even to the extent of being paranoid and empowering our kids with knowledge and awareness that such things can happen and its not all safe out there.It somehow does take away innocence to a certain extent according to me.But that's perhaps the price we pay for living in the ugly reality of our world.So Ina,my dear baby stay as a little baby you are just for some more time,let me revel in your innocent smile and wonder filled eyes just a little more longer and protect you from everything just by holding you close in my arms.Let the days go slow and let me play peek a boo with you and watch you break into pearls of laughter just a little longer.Let me be the centre of your universe a little more longer.Amen to that!

Pain & gain

I have a paper submission next week and I'm hopelessly lagging behind my schedule and these are atleast 2 sound reasons why I shouldn't be wasting my time blogging(I know,I know I'm soo gone)but here I'm still cheating on my schedule and taking out 15 minutes just to write some of the wandering thoughts on a blog which is lost in sea of blogs,seriously does anyone ever read this many blogs?Atleast not people who have paper submissions due in a week!!

Now I have realized why people who are so hard to get rid of are usually referred to as being pain the neck(ok,there's another version being pain in the #$% which I feel is more appropriate but I digress)Because neck pain is such a hard ass pain,it just gets gnawing and more annoying by the minute and you never learn to appreciate the suppleness and flexibility of your neck until you have them taken away from you!Imagine if we suffer this much how much more does the poor giraffe would incase of a neck pain?hmm..ok that made me feel better for a moment and made me smile(there's a mean streak in me ,what to do?)and my argument will still be that it still would be worse for a giraffe if it had to take care of its demanding young ones with a gnawing neck pain just like me or perhaps no,I still had it bad,baby giraffes don't cry and shreik and make us chase all around the house and poop and pee,so there you have it,I still top that argument with the giraffe.Coming back to MY neck pain , I don't know about others but to me there is a very intricate pathway of connection between my emotions and pain.I am a sissy when it comes to pain,I can't tolerate pain of any threshold.I was one of those patients who were jumping up and down to get the epidural at the hospital(I think epidurals are the greatest inventions of the century).So you can already see this hasn't been a good day and a day like this with a child who seems to feed on your irritation and regurgitate it back it's tough and it can be trying at times. I really think babies pick the sense of irritation from their care giver and inturn send the similar vibes back.I was seriously losing it by the end of the day.Really when you are a mother it doesn't matter how ill you are you still got to suck it all up and take care of the kids first.And it's mighty hard but I did it and I made it through somehow with much help from Ina's dada(He is such a total sweetheart,maybe someday I can blog just about him!!)So dear neck pain when you encounter a mom beware, you lose big time and I know even the momma giraffe would agree!

Blogging world

Addiction VII
Originally uploaded by Tinebetondorp2.

This internet is an addictive and wonderful thing.I'm totally new to this blog world but I'm already getting rapidly sucked into it.I'm marvelling how many people out there are putting across their thoughts in these so called blogs that I feel like entering a night club with all those jazzy neon lights and great music playing and people dancing and all those thoughts and words floating around me almost in some cartoonish fashion(I know I have such a total weird imagination maybe sometimes it sucks but well you get my point)
Some of them are so funny and so intriguing that I feel like a loser trying to post.Honestly there are way too many good people who are such good writers and some of them can give any writer a run for their money!!Did I tell that I envy those people..I so do.I wish I could really write like them but I know I suck so as they say you got to go what you do,I'm no writer material so my blogs are going to be pretty ordinary.But I will surely keep it going cause it's my way of self therapy!I feel sometimes our thoughts sound so much better or so much worse once they are out and read like some third person's thoughts and everything kind of makes sense and many a times it can give a better perspective.My thoughts definetly sound better once they are out of my head.That's pretty much it for today.

My little food faddist

Lately we (Ina & me, who else?)are hitting bit of turbid waters in the department of solid food. Past two days Ina has simply refused to eat anything except avocados and tofu(seriously babies have weird palate).Her favorite chilled carrots and sweet potatoes are left to rot in fridge and today I had to throw it away cause they had been refrozen and about to go bad(sigh).Is it that she is teething? I don't know. Sometimes I feel stupid cause every time she does something out of her normal character I begin to think "oh, maybe she is teething!"(I know that's my way of justifying her crankiness) but many a times it turns out she is just being well a pain. And yes her new favorite has been kiwi fruit, of all the neat fruits I offer her she prefers only this one which incidentally I happen to hate (I'm still convinced she is my child only but definitely her palatal tastes are not mine, maybe she gets it from her dad, oh that would take another blog to write about his taste bud preferences, don’t even get me started on that one!!)So after a lot of eye staring(with the star wars battle theme playing in the background) and coaxing(with Dave Matthews band playing "American baby" on the background)and firm refusal to open her mouth for anything other than avocado and tofu I finally gave up, if you want to eat just that then avocados and tofu it is. Hail avocado and tofu!

Ina is also beginning to sit and play herself (maybe tofu and avocados are helping) after a few feeble attempts of sitting with open stretched out legs when she had almost fallen and bonked her little head now she has leant to steady herself with one leg flexed at her knee and the other stretched out (how clever is my girl! I know here I go bragging about my kid just like all those irritating mommies, I say maybe its a contagious disease, I surely never thought I would contact it too)But still it's cute and good to see her using her little brain. She also follows me all around the house like my own little lamb (Mary had one and I have a better one which even smiles and waves) Her favorite area is still those areas which I have forbidden her to meddle with, the place near the TV stand and the comp where there are some enticing wires which keep calling her to come and she promptly attends the call too. We have child proofed it with all the wires nearly packed and hidden but she still finds even a tiny bit of those sockets with wires very fascinating .So I have to keep an eye on her every now and then when she is on the floor(This is surely her dad's quality, otherwise who would be really interested in those stupid looking lanky wires of all the things, the momma certainly doesn't)
It has been raining whole day here, it’s a murky weather so we couldn't go out for a walk and I also had to do some work on my papers which is still pending(sigh, sigh and yes another sigh)Got to get my procrastinating sorry ass back to the table from this comp and finish it while Ina is napping. Adios!

How eazy is a walk to the mall?

Getting out with a baby in tow is never an easy task. I remember the days when I used to just slip into my fav jeans and tees and grab a purse and dash out(Sigh! gone are those days)Now its a huge task just to go out even for a walk.
First feed the baby-check
Clean diaper-check
Dress for baby-check
Jacket,booties,shoes,hat for baby-check
fav toys in the stroller-check
Diaper bag with extra diapers,vaseline,changing pad,formula,bottle,tissues,wipes-check
extra dress for baby-this is incase you are off to the mall(trust me, it’s never a bad idea to keep it in handy, you never know when your baby's diaper is going to leak or she decides it's time to spray out her milk or food onto her clothes and face and hair)-check
phew...incase you are not exhausted by the time its done, you can get ready yourself
Now time for my jeans,tees,jacket and hand bag
house keys-check
Anything potentially that can burn my house down by the time I arrive like a iron box left on, stuff on my stove, running heater-check (even the simplest things can slip out of your worn out mind which has lately been tuned to remember nothing other than baby poop,pees,milk,food,change and yes oh oh beautiful beautiful sleep (both mine and my baby's))Baby strapped in the stroller-check
car keys-check
Finally time to hit the road yay!!!
But wait, somewhere in the way between your apartment and the garage as you get into the lift the little one decides she doesn't want to go to the mall today, she just wants to scream and wants to yank out the hat and the booties and the shoes out and taste them and even scowls at the friendly neighbor who happens to coochie coochie the cute baby in the stroller much to her surprise as to what happened to the usual smiling cute little angel.
You smile at the neighbor and mumble an apologetic "oh, she is in a bad mood, you see she is teething"(anything to protect my baby's angelic image) and try to give her a fav toy to calm her down. But as the lift reaches the garage level the screams turn into a high pitched wail and her cute little face is all red as she stares at you in defiance that you are forced to reflect whether your idea of visiting the mall today is a good one.
Finally after a few seconds of pacifying the red faced screaming baby you decide its time to get back into the lift and ride up home and maybe just maybe try this exercise sometime later.
So it's back to ground zero(home) and as soon as you are home the little one is all smiles and happily goes and sits in her play yard with her toys and just as you are about to scowl she melts your heart with that cute smile (damn, you know there’s a reason why babies have such melting smiles, they need that to get away with anything they do to annoy others, who can resist that one toothed innocent smile?)So you just smile back and go get a hot cuppa coffee to regain your sanity and plop on the sofa.Socialising and shopping well that has to wait for another day, as of today its just home for me and the baby!

Amigo,dost,freund

I have been missing my friends a lot more lately.Not the ones I have from my work or by contact,it's those friends who were a part of you through school,college and university,those with whom you spent more time than with the parents,with whom you shared a whole lot more of yourself,with whom those evenings and nights were simply fun riot,the goof ups and laughs were heart warming,burdens felt lighter,smiles endless and tears understood...it's about those friends who always left you wondering what would you have been without them!I miss them a lot,we are in different continents now and each one is busy with their work,family but we do manage to keep in touch as much as we can.We had made a pact that we would meet atleast once a year sometime but that is yet to happen cause each time we plan it up someone will come up and let us know they are unable to make it.I do hope someday we can make it.Hope our paths cross soon!!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."- Anais Nin

Walk in my shoes

Here I'm talking about moms who are judgemental about other moms.The other day I happened to be at one of a social gathering when Ina started feeling hungry and I whipped out her bottle of formula and fed her and suddenly I felt some of those women(read other moms with tots)staring at me with such a judgemental look which almost said "you are such a bad mom,you are not breast feeding her?"and a little later one of them came to me and even asked ouright why I was not breast feeding her and how I was not realising what a injustice I was doing to my child by depriving her of her mother's milk.I was taken by surprise at this rudeness and I felt I was being made to take a guilty trip that I was being a bad mom simply because my child was on her bottle.I wish these women could have walked in my shoes to know how much I had to undergo with my breast feeding mishaps.It's not that I never tried enough,I did and my guilt made me bear the pain and stick it out for 5 months but Ina was simply not getting enough and she was being too lazy to suck and having born a bit underweight I had no alternative but to switch to formula.
Being a mother is no easy task.And that too being a first time mom is a huge change and it takes sometime to be able to get into this new role in your life but then people just expect that you ought to know!You are a woman so mothering comes naturally to you.Maybe to some it does,I have profound respect for such people but for some like me it takes time.And while we are at it the last thing we need is being a subject to judgement from all other perfect moms out there.I for one have learnt that never judge a mother or for that instance any person without knowing what they have been through.Give the moms a break who couldnt for innumerable reasons have not been able to breast feed the baby.That doesn't make anyone a bad mother.Have some sensitivity people!!!!
I for one say I'm a good mother,yes maynot be the perfect mother but I'm doing fine.My kid would never benifit if I was perfect cause the world is not perfect.i learn from my mistakes everyday and she will realise its ok to fall and walk again.Hasta la vista!!

It's about time

My very first post!what exactly made me choose to blog?Maybe just an outlet for my thoughts that seem to be buzzing around in my head and to find a way to capture the beauty of innumerable magical moments life sometimes throws my way.Being a mom is such a different experience alltogether with its own ups and downs but definetly it's the most rewarding experience one can have.The lessons come each day and each day will fill you with such wonder as you rediscover yourself through the eyes of your child.I have a sweet baby girl Ina around whom my world keeps revolving at this moment.Here's to a mom's journey with my Ina.