Experienced eh?

You never realize how far along you have come until you encounter the haggard, sleep deprived ,bleary eyed brand new parents. My close friend V and A became proud parents of a healthy baby boy few days back. And what a handsome little boy he is . As the new parents proudly smiled when he sprayed them with his pee the first time I almost laughed . We know soon it would be replaced by "WTH,now I have to change his as well as my clothes the 5th time" (Evil grin)

I think new born babies are made so incredibly cute and cast a spell making people go ahead and get themselves also some of those cuddly ones!It's almost like your memory fails you that the toddler running around the room creating a rukus was the exact same little sweet bundle of joy not so long ago(which also used to transform itself into a wailing screaming little monster periodically as gently reminded by hubby dearest to break that spell he sensed I was under)

The initial few weeks as a new parent I think is pretty charming. The first real poop of the baby gets greeted with "Hey honey,look we have a Real poop,no longer the black sticky thingy" with enthusiasm that can put a cheer leader to shame.Trust me as all parents know this is the only moment where you can perhaps see a grown man and woman being this enthusiastic about the bowel function of another human being. The baby cries and you fumble,get distressed and first question always is "oh god!did I do something wrong?" not the logical " Ok,let's try to figure it out without waking up whole neighborhood"which comes much later. And if the baby gets colic the piercing screams can reverberate through the sleep deprived brain and logical thinking can vanish into thin air. As the reconditioning period begins and mind gets into the suspended parenting mode time swings by and one fine day you become one of those " Experienced" parent who gets approached by another brand new parent for advice and you start laughing "Who, me?Cool,you really consider me as someone who can help you?are you kidding?(expectant faces look at you)Oh!you are not kidding!!Gosh,has it really been that long already" Yep then you realize your baby now is a toddler and yes time did pass so quickly!

Dispensing advice is something people love to do and I think I'm no exception and especially when people are looking up to you to utter some profound expert comments(Ahem,I had to contribute something,comeon I'm now an "Experienced" parent who has been there and done that kind . Some sort of a "Guru"(And please ignore the snickering hubby of mine who laughed his head off when I suggested the substitution).Helping people is what we experienced parents do!look at all those people who come visiting you at home and hospitals after delivery and you will know I'm right. And the ones who don't have kids yet,wait till you have one (evil laughter )

New parents also get subjected to a lot of frantic moments. Midnight SOS calls are a must. "Sorry to disturb you Fuzzy, but he just seems to be crying and crying. I think we did something horribly wrong" bringing back nostalgic flashbacks of the time when I almost thought a call to the ER was in order when all she needed was a good burp or the " Fuzzy,there's no way I can give him a bath myself. I will drop him down and then OMG !!I can see him blaming his mom for all the miseries of his life on Dr. Phil some years down the lane" (Yes,I have pretty melodramatic friends!but give the sleep deprived lady a break,wilya). It reminded me of the time when I sat crying thinking I had broken Ina's little neck while giving her a bath when it slipped a little and bobbed for few seconds . Ah,sweet times!!

I had to stop myself from chuckling and assure the new frantic parents that yes their kid was perfectly normal and that they did nothing to hurt him and yes, the little adorable creatures do cry for no reason at all at times and yes their poops come in all sorts of colors, and there are going to be lots of sneezes,hiccups and spit ups and yes they will not screw up and will make really good parents.

Inspite of having a mom who almost ended up giving her a head injury by dropping her (It was an accident people!Don't call the CAS on me) while lowering her to the carseat, to being a sorry ass mom crying and embarassing her when she got her first shot even more than her,having a a dad who never could distinguish one side of a diaper from another,who grunted disapprovingly at any sight of baby spit or spill to the new dad who now loves sporting his little girl onto his shoulder all the time,becomes a clown just to make her giggle and changes diaper like a pro, from being almost forgotten by her both parents at a mall on a busy shopping day to having to put up with totally amateur feeding and bathing techniques of two people who most of the times had no idea what they were doing,Ina would agree we didn't really mess it up that bad. When we could do it so shall you V & A.

All three of us survived the ride so far!!

Now dear Ina stop using up your charm to get things done and kindly get off the carpet and give me back my lipstick and testing your artistic talents on the walls and start cooperating in using the toilet for its intended purpose and not as a mini swimming pool for your toys. Can we work on that?