I solemnly swear I'm up to no good

ITW tagged me to reveal my darker and wicked side. You have to read her factual fiction to know how wicked this lady can be! As for me I swear all these were done by that evil alter ego and the blame came to lie on my shoulders,you all believe that don't you? *with that sweet puss in the boots look*

-Driving on a two wheeler with 1(younger cousin) in the front and 3 at the back asking one to cover the licence plate and another to watch out for the traffic police uncle on a busy main road. Plan was anytime we spot the traffic police far away ditch the 3 guys and ask them to come meet us around the corner soon after by passing the police. Got caught only once.

- Witnessed a flight attendant being extremely rude to a old woman who was travelling all alone (No prizes for guessing to which airlines she belonged) Seen shortly was she, balancing precariously a tray of drinks and her high heels. She tripped over a leg "unknowingly" placed on her way and fell on her face spilling the drinks all over her painfully straightened hair. Tsk Tsk...every rudeness hath a fall,doesn't it? *swishing of the red cloak*

- Seen in a neighborhood was a girl who made fun of a pet dog calling it a sissy when compared to hers everyday. Soon came a day when she was seen squealing on how "someone" had managed to dye her dog's ears and hair all pink while that "someone" remains mysterious till today.

- A high maintenance uptight bridegroom was taking his first bath at the girl's place. Soon heard were shrill screams "Snake..snake,climbing it's way to the bathroom window" with some description of "how long" and "scary " it really was. The bridegroom bolted out of the bathroom managing to hold the towel to protect his ahem things-which-shall-remain-unnamed in lightening speed complete with shampoo in his hair. The evil master cousin of the new bride walked around the next few days with a boxed reddened ear courtesy her mom, warding off questions by humming "U can't touch this".

-PC Man one day couldn't find a matching pair for any of his socks after leaving his shoes and socks on the carpet for the nth time in spite of all warnings. An apology to the socks god and appeasing in the form of flowers later made it possible for the reunion to happen. Spooky, I know!

-A annoying room mate used to set her alarm to ungodly hours disturbing the sleep of other occupant. One fine night while the "other" room mate was away she found herself waking up every hour to hunt and shut down alarms going off precisely every hour hidden strategically in secret locations within the room. The alarm problem soon seemed to get solved itself...Hmm...wonder who made that happen!

- A bald man seated next to a school girl on a jam packed bus was acting funny making her very uncomfortable. Standing near the very same seat holding the seat rail was another school girl observing this. Soon with every jerk of the bus every now and then she whacked his bald head with the curved end of her umbrella holding it strategically behind his head blaming it every time on the crowded bus and jerky driving. The guy finally kept his hands to himself using them only to rub his now sore bald spots. Smooth operator wouldn't you say?

Ahem..I think I have given enough a glimpse into the wicked side of sweet old moi-même for now. How about I tag a few more to join me over at the dark side? I tag Lavs (Making up for letting you off a previous fun tag buddy), dotmom (Banana peels eh?* searches around for the pitch fork*) Parul (I know you will make this a fun one) Moppet's mom (Being my twin you've got to give me company in this one) and Rayshma the cheesecake girl (I have a feeling this tag is tailor made for you). Anyone else who wants to take it up please do so. The more the merrier... Mwahaha!

22 questions

A classic example of what some male minds can accomplish if left to wander unattended for some time is this tag passed on by ITW who herself did a great job at this one. I take my community services pretty seriously so I am also going to pitch in my 2 cents to help the hapless guy who was so inquisitive about such info about us women species.

1. How do you feel after a one night stand? Probably colossally regretful if it looked anything like this

2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong? Yes

3. Does it hurt? Not as much as answering remarkably stupid questions like these.

4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?Yes and if it's directed at you then probably you deserved it.

5. Does size really matter? When it comes to diamonds,bank balance and generosity yes.

6. When the bill comes are you still a feminist? Depends on how handsome Bill actually is

7. Why do you take so long to get ready?Probably because I had to pick up the trash as well as your laundry off the floor while you were busy surfing through sport channels with your butt stuck to the couch.

8. Do you watch porn, too?No, if I need to watch any hyperventilating,sweaty bunch of people contorting their bodies and doing the same thing over and over again I might as well rejoin my aerobics class. Unfortunately both do nothing to me.

9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything? No. But the bigger it is ,the longer it can go in hastening the forgiving process.

10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us? Not really.

11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat? Could you take off your eyes from those VS models on the TV for a second and repeat the question?

12. Why are you always late? We are never late. You have a warped sense of time.

13. Does it bother you when we scratch? Yes! Seeing you do that in public makes me believe in man's evolution from monkeys. Not much has changed has it?

14. Do you wish you could pee standing up? Having faced pretty bad restrooms sometimes I wish I could.

15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?Stuck with more or less one choice for the male hair you really wouldn't understand the fun of experimenting with the locks.

16. How often do you think about sex? Obviously not as much as you do

17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date? Whatever floats their boat Hun. It's not for me to judge

18. Would you? boats are not my thing,I prefer to fly

19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?Have you considered taking this "Every" guy to a shrink?this guy seems to have issues.

20. Why does every woman think she can change him? I don't think any woman can change any man unless he is in diapers. I don't attempt the impossible.

21. Does it matter what car I drive? Nopes ,unless of course that's all you have to offer.

22. Do you ever fart? Enfartically no,we never fart nor do we ever lie. Believe this and women will no longer be a mystery to you .

Now to pass this hat of knowledge for a few more enlightening 2 cents I call upon Rayshma,Orchi (unless you are already tagged) and Preethi.

The Tag of mush

It's tag time again. This time around Parul tagged me to reveal the engaging err engagement story. Without further ado and having arm twisted PC man to give his proverbial all encompassing shrug of a shoulder and final sigh of resignation ,get ready to spread this mushy can of beans onto your toasted tortillas.

It's pretty much a simple tale of how the nice sweet girl made the nice ,smart mallu guy bhel (sell) some excellent papads (or perhaps papadums) and made him skip through some hula hoops before saying an yes.

Having literally given the guy a taste of things to come and bowled him over by her masterful culinary skills during the first meeting needless to say the girl never actually expected to hear from the guy again. But then you see some guys are clearly gluttons for punishments and PC man happened to be one of them or perhaps it should be said he was clearly smitten by the irresistible charms of fuzzy (dismissing the buzz of PC man singing "You're so vain" off tune near the ear) Soon after that he managed to hold a knife to the throat wheedle out from a poor friend of hers ,secured her messenger i.d and acting all surprised bumped accidentally onto the girl online one fine day. He helped her fix some bug on her comp and what's more turned out to be a pretty good listener and claimed that her sense of humor was pretty "cute". He was also one of those mallus who pronounced her name rightly without distorting it and zimply had no plans to go to dubaaii.

And so it began. A chat here and a chat there and soon enough there were chats everyday and every night that it became a part of their lives. And soon enough the public transportation officials were singing praises of PC man for his generous encouragement and moolah they got due to his weekly trips from Pune to the girl's hometown. Soon the girl's dad raised his eyebrows on the soaring net bills while PC man contemplated his new found employed-but-constantly-broke status. That was also the time when he uttered those" three words " during a chat following the declaration by the girl as to how she had stuffed herself up to her nose attending a wedding feast. She still feels those gluttony confessions perhaps made her even more irresistible. Who can resist a chick who can confess freely how she is a such a fine connoisseur of food,none I tellya. Gluttony girlfriends are the in thing and mucho in demand.

The girl however took her time. She wasn't sure she said. Who knows whether this sweet talking guy turns out to be a stalker,or worse an axe murderer and wanted in three states. A girl had to take her time she thought. She said she would be glad to be friends. The guy sweetly agreed bidding his time to wait for the red signal to turn green. But the chats and calls and visits continued. He listened,he cared ,he made her laugh,he was supportive and had a disarming smile.

He was always very organized while her other name would have been chaos

He was calm and patient while she lost her cool in no time

He was a stickler for rules while she even drove like a menace on two wheeler with utter disregard to traffic rules. He said one has to write a will and have a death wish before hopping onto her bike and she said suit yourself and walk.

She had a good hand at drawing and sucked at painting while he painted like a dream

She loved to dance whereas he has been one of those rhythm-less creatures born with two left feet . His dancing always looked like a bad imitation of shammi kapoor(He blamed it on the high standards set by the filmi heroes of malluwood gyrating against gravity and sheer mass in mundus)

She devoured books like there was no tomorrow while he blasphemously claimed books are a waste of time

She was technically challenged while he was a technical genius

She loved dogs and he thought the best pets were fish

She was a chatterbox and outgoing while he was a man of few words

He loved his chicken while she wanted to adopt the chicken and take it home.

But they did fit together pretty perfectly. And slowly she began to appreciate what they had.

At the end of 2 years ,7 months and 15 days there was a walk in the park and then the guy went down on his knees and amorously with a gorgeous big rock amidst of the beautiful flowers proposed marriage. Then a sentimental bollywood tune played in the background while the girl dabbing her eyes with tears and sniffing into her expensive handkerchief and hands to her mouth in shock and uttering "Yes,oh yes"

That's so NOT how it went.....

They sat at the lake watching and commenting on how all the aunties and uncles who came for their evening jog seemed more interested in catching up on gossip and ironically devouring plentiful pani puries and gobi manchuries while commenting on the young couples who sat there on the benches stealthily and casting those incredulous you-shall-burn-in-hell look their way.

PC man- You do realize we just got fleeced off that last 50 rupees we had by that old woman don't you?

Fuzzy- I told you she was no face reader or an astrologer. You didn't have any 10's or 20's?Who gives a lame old lady con 50 rs??

PC man- She looked very old and seemed like she needed it more than us.

Fuzzy- So you realize we have to now walk all the way back home right due to your generosity towards dire pretending to be needy people?

PC man- It's all right. It's a beautiful evening to take a walk

They walked and it started to drizzle lightly as he gallantly gave his jacket to her and held her close.

Fuzzy- Hmm..it sure is a beautiful evening

PC man- I do wish we can be together this way always

Fuzzy- *pondering over that sentence* You mean legally?

PC man- *calmly taking her hand* Yes,legally . So what do you say?

Fuzzy- Hmm..Do you snore when you sleep?

PC man- No

Fuzzy- Good and can I still have a dog at our home in non-negotiable terms.

PC man- All right but I can't clean after it

Fuzzy-That's ok. And I suck at cooking and I hate doing dishes

PC man- I won't complain. I can also cook and we will get a dishwasher or a maid.

Fuzzy- I like squeaky clean bathrooms

PC man- No probs,I promise I won't be a slob.

Fuzzy- In that case I would say an yes.

PC man- *Doing a jig* I never thought this day will be here

Fuzzy- But you do know you still have to go down on the knees and do the ring thingy right?Thanks to that old lady I'm letting you off the hook today.

He did go down on the knee with the ring and all that soon enough.

And that was just a beginning...

Now to tag some more for the same. I tag Rayshma,Lavs and Nainaashley. Let's hear the story girls!

A brag moment

*walks around proudly all around the room with a smug look on the face*

*jumps up and down for a minute making a spectacle of herself and gets back to the smug face*

*Does a little jig and gets a big grin on her face and then blurts out* Did you see that???Did you really see what I got????

It's been raining awards here in Fuzzyblogland folks!The vivacious Moppet's mom has graciously bestowed the honor of a rocking girl blogger award on yours truly. She believes that she has found me pretty Rocking!!!!Did you hear that??I rock!!Now I'm one among the cool kids of bloggie land you see. Coming from an awesome blogger like her I do consider this an honor. We recently had a tearful reunion after having lost each other at the Kumb mela long back,she proudly calls me her twin and I honestly feel the same way,we do have a lot in common . She is goofy,hilarious,inspiring and thoughtful and with her delightful toddler her blog is always a sure way to get yourself a much needed good laugh to brighten your day. Do give her a holler and you will discover how insanely talented she is just like me;) Did someone say I was being so modest,what can I say?rocking and modest,yep that's your fuzzy duhlings!

Just when I was recovering from this elation the one blogger I'm completely in awe with, Itching to write went a step ahead and awarded me the "Schmooze blog" award. It’s a blogging community involvement award for those bloggers who make the effort to connect and develop relationships in the blogosphere.

Did you hear that??I rock as well as schmooze! What began as an outlet to all those buzzing thoughts crowded in my head, blogging has really helped me discover all you wonderful people out there and it's heartening to see what I write resonates with people too. Thank you ITW. She is one awe inspiring mom of twins (Yes!double the trouble one little toddler gives me making my life seem like a circus ring and she deals with two of them!!)and a career woman balancing the whole lot wonderfully and making it seem so effortless. Do drop by her place and you will know how true all my words are.

Now each one of such awards do come with the responsibility of having to nominate a few more for the same. I know,you all are squirming in your seats by now and anticipating the opening of the secret envelope. Hmm..herein lies the problem. There are so many wonderful blogs which I love that's its really hard to pick a few (which match the high standards now set by fuzzy,MM and ITW likes) *voice inside fuzzy's head- Stop it,you narcissistic you!awards have a way of twisting your mind and waking that gloating monster inside you*

Seriously though I would give it away for each and every one of you cause you all rock!* blowing some kisses to the crowd Mwaaah*

(now you know you can safely nominate me to replace Ban Ki-moon at the UN,I'm good with such statements of peace)

But sadly though I still have to nominate so here you go. *drum roll please*Time to spread some love...

I call upon these 5 to join me at the Rocking girls party:

1. Rayshma- She is wacky,witty and fun. She has her own unique way of writing which is delightful to read. *Pst pst,Raysh ..we still have to plan that ladies only night remember with the cocktails,of course that's not the reason for the award*;);)

You rock babes!

2. Something to say- Here is one girl who truly rocks. I admire the clarity and conviction with which she blogs and it always get me thinking. Her adventures presently from the Arabic world is fascinating to read. Welcome to the rocking girls party STS:)

3.Itching to write - Nopes,this is not a return of a favor. This is because I believe you do rock!Hop in to the party. Here's to building many more wonderful memories with the twins!

4.Lavs- She blogs with a flair of her own and about issues she feels strongly about. *pst pst Lavs,you also earned some extra brownie points for being a fellow HPite. wink,wink* cheers girl!

5. Upsilamba- A girl with a contagious sense of humor even though we all wish she would blog a bite more often. Hopefully this award will get her rocking more often and we get a stream of posts as a result of the inspiration. Hop into the grand party Upsi!!

Wait wait,it's all not over yet.. Remember I have one more set to announce because I received another one too *milking the brag moment upto the last drop* . So let's get on with the "Schmooze" award.

And the winners are: *drum roll*

1.Mind of an Orchid- You truly have a way of connecting with people Orchi. And you were missed in the blogsphere during your break and it's good to have you back!

2. Skinny- When talking about building connections and community the first name which came to my mind is this girl. You have to read her blog to know just how beautiful she writes and the way she inspires. Skinny,your blog packs all the schmooze I have seen. Keep writing!

3. Moppet's mom- Do I need to say why? She packs all the schmooze and laughter in a punch that's why!

4. Ricky- Punjabi munda in the great white north. An avid cricket fan and whose seventeen tomatoes are fun and inspiring place to hang out .Ricky,flaunt this one!

5.Artnavy- Another inspiring lady who somehow manages to pack in a lot in a small post. I admire her for many reasons and if you visit her you would too. Art,this is right up your alley!

*cracks open the champagne* here's to ALL blogger buddies who are much more above all these awards and likes. You all rock not because of any award but by being just your wonderful selves. Cheers and thanks for being there!

Tagged to tout my own horn

Got tagged by Skinny to reveal five little known facts about myself. Hmm...this should be easy,afterall its just 5 and all I have to do is talk about myself which I usually and probably love to do,why else would I have gotten myself a blog (Duh). Got to work with it with my caffeine addled brain,I'm indebted to caffeine which has saved me from the past few days of handling a sick child and a sea of diapers.

So without further ado here it is:

1.I used to eat chalk when I was in my kindergarden. It didn't help that my aunt was a teacher and brought home lots of those white stuff and I would sneak up and steal them and eat them. I ate a whole box of them once(Not all at once,but in frame of a month).Yep,it lasted for few months before my mom caught me red handed and took me to the doc,they gave me some weird tasting syrup and asked them to hide all the chalks both at home and school ,threatened me with more needles if I continued.It perhaps worked,as after that I never got addicted to chalk again.

2. I once made up my mind to own a dog and since my mom refused to lend us money to get one for us, I and my brother sold our share of firecrackers to the neighborhood kid's on Diwali eve ,my brother did an awesome job in marketing them as the best and lied having gotten them directly from the factory and selling them at a higher price than the original one. Much to my mom's annoyance we did manage to get the puppy home and also ended up enjoying the fire crackers after dad secretly bought us some more. I totally missed my call of being in ad world or marketing(atleast it gives me comfort thinking that way,so indulge me)

3. I have dabbled with many musical instruments,I play Guitar pretty well,have learnt to play mandolin,keyboard and Sitar and even performed in concerts. Yes,I surprise myself. Now I have a burning desire to learn Piano. I have learnt Indian Classical dance and enjoy dancing on the whole. Even tried my talent at singing (I had big hopes of having my own band someday) but after some years gave it up after I realized I couldn't really put in so much vocal effort and also because my parents were flabbergasted by that idea and feared I would not do well in academics and end up as a pennyless musician. Music however continues to be a big part of my life.

4. I hate "Rollercoasters",I'm scared stiff to get on them. If I do get on them by force by friends or my cousins I would surely be the one who would be closing their eyes tightly and screaming away her lungs,praying for dear life till the ride stops. If you want to piss me off all you have to do is suggest going to the theme parks and adventure thrill rides. Inspite of it I still have a secret wish someday to try the bungee jumping and sky diving,I don't mind the heights it's just the twisting,rolling and rotating things which I hate.

5. I can never recognize faces of people I meet after a long time. It gets embarassing at times!It has happened so many times that people have come to me saying they remember me from school and they are my old classmates or have met me at some fuction or some party before and frankly I couldn't place them at all anywhere unless they had some weirdness that stood out in my memory. I also have a large blindspot when I drive,so many times I would have driven past people whom I know( even on a two wheeler or a bike)relatives and friends who enthusiastically would be jumping up and down and waving a hi or mouthing loud sounds of recognition but I would never have seen them at all. I have received rap for this sooo many times when they have come up to me later and told me how I walked past them as if they were invisible.

Ok,I guess we have reached the end of the list. This much should do at this time:) I have plenty more but will shut my mouth up for now. I now have to tag 5 people to do the same. I hate tagging people because you never know whether they will hate you for doing it but still since I think this will be fun to do I tag

Orchid

Plush

Ricky

le taureau

Something to say

and anyone else who has not already done this!take it up and give your take on it.

A visually appealing DNA

I was tagged by Itching to write to do this virtual DNA and I must say it was such a whole lot of fun.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I won't specifically tag anyone.This is one tag I have a feeling anyone would enjoy doing.So take it up and give your twist to it and have fun!