It runs in the family

The tag fever is still on. This time around I thought I will do justice to Kodi's mom's tag. Since I have already ahem.. revealed some of un-weird stuff about myself already in another tag this time around I thought I will follow her suit and reveal the quirkiness of my offspring. Well since the mother has already proven how un-quirky she actually is can the daughter be left far behind? The fruit certainly doesn't fall far from the tree. But whether she is quirkier than me or the mother hen takes the cake ,I will leave it to you guys to decide. Grab yourself a cold glass of wine or hot cup of tea and let's get started shall we?

1. Her dad currently holds the most powerful man in the universe title according to Ina. We also currently have achieved world domination as far as automobiles are concerned namely we literally own each and every car which ply on the road or parked in the parking lot. Be it our neighbor Mr. Roy who owns that flashy gleaming brand new BMW,or the gorgeous Mercedes driven by Mrs. Rose the maintanence manager of the apartment complex we own each and everyone of them. She screams herself hoarse especially when Mr. Roy tries to get his car form the parking lot and threatens him with gibberish toddlerspeak a la Godfather style complete with red face and finger pointing. She is especially possessive about that brand new car than any other ones. I still give her credit for having such fine taste,she does make me proud!! But it's getting harder to convince Mr. Roy who looks utterly puzzled at this torrent of hostility he faces everyday morning from this little creature who otherwise seems like an angel in incarnation.

She also happens to cry out loudly "Dadaaa..car" whenever she sees every other car plying on the road from her stroller. In the toddler world a man can drive hundreds of cars at one time and her dad certainly can accomplish this impossible task. Needless to say the dad of the house has found himself a huge fanbase and exalted superstar status and currently is basking in the attention thoroughly.

2. She is very friendly and well mannered but also has an evil streak. When she says Hi you are expected to say Hi right back,doesn't matter how many times that gets repeated. As the harassed poor lady at the supermarket counter and her haggard sitter can swear the record has been atleast 20 times of this cycle of Hi and Byes ,repeated everytime a poor friendly soul happens to cross her path and gets mesmerized by the dazzling smile and makes the mistake of exchanging pleasantries. You refuse to say it back and you get a red faced fist making screaming "Mama Hi...illa (meaning mama there's no Hi)" little monster who can perhaps give you nightmares for days together. Be afraid,be very afraid!

3. She is our new found Leonardo da vinci of the household. The walls ,chairs,mama's files,table all are silent witness to that raw artistic talent that has been unleashed on them. We do offer paper as a means to immortalize her talents but then she is always thinking out of the box. Everytime she is done with one masterpiece she comes around grinning and says "Mama..looook" and her super dad's chest swells with pride before the poor mama runs with the bucket and soap of water and starts her scrubbing. Don't believe me please do take a look at the exhibit A in front of you.

4. Her imagination is unbeatable. One minute the thermometer becomes a secret spy device,a walkie talkie to communicate with her other toddler spies. The empty bottle becomes a mike to croone,a cardboard box becomes her secret mask, tv remote becomes her mobile phone,table becomes a hot plate to make rotis,talking potatoes and tomatoes and what not. Yep our world is pretty adventurous due to our da vinci.

5. We are all music freaks so it's not a wonder that she too loves to shake her little bon bon everytime there's a dance video. But she has her preferences namely "Beeeeeedi laileeeee" (Beedi jalayle) *mom hides her face* and " dooocha doocha" (Pussycat dolls- Dont cha) *Mom looks around and hides her face again* What can I say?we shamefully croon with her and enjoy her jumping around like a little monkey. We are hopeless.

6. If things are in the trash you can be sure they are going to find their way back into her secret stash of treasures. The vegetable peels,banana peels,old batteries, plastic wrappers all are currently singing praises of Ina for having been rescued after being chucked out by the evil mom. Likewise most of the times pennies or dimes,important papers,paper clips, even the cordless phone, sipp cups and mom's scarfs all material things get free trip to dustbin land courtesy Li'l Ina. The chucking ceremony begins with a squeal " Cheee cheee, Diiiirty" and ends with a enthusiastic clap . She is always standing up for the undertrodden, what a fine politican she is going to make. We just can't stop gushing about her can we?

7. No is the new yes.

Mama- Ina do you want some yogurt?

Ina- Noooooooooooooo

Mama- Are you sure?

Ina- Noooooo (widely opening the mouth)

Mama- So this means you want it..*shoving a spoonful into the open mouth*

Ina- Nooooooo...*enjoying the morsel and opening her mouth again*

So now we have 2 No's. One is "No" which means an Yes and then there is a "No" which does mean No. Which of the "No is the exact No and which "No" is a non- No is still very much Un-No-n to us and the confusion is currently driving me up the wall.

8. Evil imitator!!!!

Scene: A friendly gathering

Nosy aunt: Ina,show us what mom does at home with you?

Ina:*Looks at her evil partner in crime aka dad* picks up her doll and starts singing "Baa baa baa sheeeeee, aaoo aaoo ooool"(baa baa black sheep) and then sticks the bottle to her mouth and picks up the mobile holding it dramatically between her shoulder and ear and starts talking "Aaaloo mama....aafeeece( Office) baby taaachi (baby sleepy)

ok Bayeeee " and goes ahead and sits on the chair starts tapping on the laptop all the while leaving the baby doll with the bottle on the floor.

Poor mom opens her mouth to say something in her defence and is quickly silenced by a roar of approval from the crowd.

Bonus quirkiness: Songs are an integral part of every routine. Nothing is ever accomplisehd unless we sing in our household especially so with the musically inclined offspring. There's the toothbrush song which has some absurd sounding lyrics made up by yours truly and christened as the "Up up up,brush brush brush" song which gets religiously sung in the most absolutely possible tuneless fashion without which toothbrush can't gain entrance into the tightly closed little mouth. Then there is the bath song "Time to go and take a bath" again sang in tune of "mary had a little lamb" (lyrics by the one and only mom of the house) then there is the sleep song and the eating song and there's even a potty song. Sometimes we even greet each other singing the "Hello" song. Never a dull moment that's for sure!

I guess I've done enough damage to Ina's fine reputation already. Before she decides to drag me to court for defamation on a public forum I will quickly end the tag. So did she live up to the quirkiness of the mom or the little chick has a long way to go??time for you to share those thoughts.

Quirky that's so not me!

Work has been a real bummer the past few days and with PC man also going down with viral fever let's just say things haven't been all that pretty. Amidst all this I also realized I have been accumulating tags at a alarming rate that very soon I will have them coming out of my ears and nose. So I decided to start getting them done one by one before the disaster strikes.

First of all I thought let me make a list of the tags to do,trust me with my memory I am capable of forgetting who my next door neighbor is the moment I have greeted them and walked into the lift . So I am better off making a list. * Scratches her head wondering whether that lady's name was Carla or Marla? Notes to self: Make a list of the same*

1. The lovely Moppet's mom tagged me to reveal a few of my quirkiness (isn't that hard?you all know how totally normal I truly am?)

2. The kind Nainashley has tagged me to describe my dreams (I can do that for a living,they get absurder day by day)

3. I have been tagged to share my fetishes by NM (I do remember nm!!I'm sorry its taken so long but I'll get cracking)

4. The sweet Lavs long back gave away the "Thinking blogger" award to moi!! (yes totally surprised me and thrilled me as well) I am to give away the same so wait till the secret envelope opens and the names are called out:) *Notes to self: Got to find out whether my favorite ones are already the receipients of the same*

5. Kodi's mom tagged me long long back to share some more top 8 things about Ina. *Looks around apologetically* Getting to it I promise!!

6.ITW tagged me about the Favorite Indian authors list *again looks apologetic slowly shuffling her feet* Long time overdue I know!!!!!

Phew!!Just made sure I wrote this all in the text file ,spell checked it,bulleted it,categorized it,googled it and emailed one copy to self (Um..let's say I utilize official net resources rather wisely and productively) and stored one on the home PC. So time to get cracking on the Moppet's mom tag shall we? I did consult PC man to help me with it (not that I needed any extra help ) just to satisfy my wicked curiosity as to which things about me he felt were quirky. I half expected the diplomatic "You my darling and quirky??nah nah..you are perfect" answer but to my surprise and annoyance I received a big hearty laugh and " Do you want me to list some out for you?" needless to say he followed it up wisely with " That's what I love about you Fuzz". What's not to love about this guy?
Anyway without much further ado here it goes:

1. As revealed by now I thrive on lists. I'm pretty sure my world will come collapsing down without my lists. I have to put down everything I want to do ,be it work or home and even if it means going down to the neigborhood store to get just a bottle of shampoo. I need to put it down and end up even taking a print out of the same. It drives PC man nuts but I just can't help it.

2. I talk to myself A lot!especially so when I'm preoccupied and nervous. I have faced a lot of embarassing moments due to this with people trying to talk to me back in the subway or at the shopping mall with me not realizing it and scaring them off with dirty looks. Now PC man recommends me to carry my Ipod everytime I step outside so I can camouflage this and carry on my ramblings to my innerself without interruptions from the confused public. It works like a charm.

3. "Thou shalt never rest with thy feet uncovered". I must cover my feet when I sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night if PC man even happens to steal my blanket leaving my feet exposed. If it's not a blanket then it has to be warm socks. I literally develop cold feet whenever I leave it exposed for a long period of time. I can't concentrate or do any work with my feet uncovered. It's like my processing and initiating centre is wired tightly with my sensory connections of my feet. Hence shoes are my best friend. (Gives me just another alibi to hoard some more)

4. I have word amnesia at times. It will most often be very simple words like a street or a bus or even a household item like a vaccum cleaner. A perfectly normal word but it disappears from my mind all of a sudden just like that. I try to get around it,I can point at it or look at it but lo and behold can't word it.

Fuzz- (cleaning the closet) Umm..now I think I need to use that cleaning thing here
PC man- You mean like a broom?
Fuzz- No *knocking her head* no, that thing which is long and black
PC man- Oh I get it,you mean the mop. You want a mop?
Fuzz- No,no, not the mop stupid. The thing which has a long tube which sucks ....which needs to be plugged in.
PC man- (doubling with laughter) You mean the vaccum!
Fuzz- Vaccum!that's it..yes that's what I MEANT !wipe the grin and hand it to me now!

I was pretty much convinced I had some neurological disorder of sorts until my brainy neurologist cousin convinced me otherwise. My IQ Scores also helped me convincing that I was normal and infact even smarter than I thought I was. It's weird,what can I say?

5. I have a strong sense of smell. So much that I can sense what's cooking in whose house just by stepping into the apartment corridor or the street. I also need to smell the food first before eating it. If the smell is not inviting I can't eat it. I also have big trouble shopping for perfumes and cosmetics because of the very same issue. I had to suffer because I ended up buying the wrong perfume or cosmetic which invoked the gods of headache on me. I have tearfully given away many a loved perfumes which costed me an arm and a leg to friends who were blessed with a blunted sense of smell than me. Now I try to peel myself off such evil stores which try to lure me into buying them in the first place.

So 5 it is!!that wasn't tough at all. See I told you I am completly normal ,not a bone of quirkiness in me. Now pray do tell me you still adore me inspite of these weird confessions!Otherwise I just might be found nervously talking to myself in the perfume section of the mall trying to figure out what the thing inside the fancy bottle is called ,barefoot and having forgotten the printed shopping list back at home . Now that's the stuff my nightmares are made of!

So now its my turn to tag *menacingly rubbing hands and looking around for the victims*

Nainashley- I'm curious

Rayshma- I am sure you will have some good stuff on this

Upsilamba- To rouse her out of her hiatus:)

Lavs- Out with it girl!

Orchid & Noodlehead- Again want them out of blog hiatus!

Rise and shine

Nothing beats waking up to a usual Friday morning all bleary eyed and cursing the way of the world which makes people get up early to work forgoing the snoozy slumber and finding it all transform into a beautiful glorious day with one look through the now infamous balcony of ours....
Enjoy the lovely weekend!!!

Our greenies- The (non) emotional tale

It was a bright summer day when the crazy Fuzzy family visited the Home Depot. With a squirming toddler in the stroller waiting for a chance to leap out of the restraints and run amok in the shop and a grumpy mother who hated visiting this particular commercial establishment and a happy looking dad who felt so much at home at this shop they made quite a sight. Just as they did their usual rounds and mom was yawning and trying to poke the little one to make some noise so they could just get out from this place dad happened to chance upon some gorgeous looking house plants. Just look at them he exclaimed ,wouldn't they be lovely if we had some of them in our home and balcony he said. The little one nodded her doll like head vigorously as if to shake some insect off her ear while the mother smiled sympathetically at the plants. Now,don't get her wrong. Before all you environmentalists out there get their clubs polished to get behind her back really she is not to be blamed for this attitude at all. She is not against greenery or an anti environmentalist. She happens to love nature just as much as any other person and even willing to be a tree hugger. But only provided the trees are well tended to by some other green thumbed person and not her. It so happens that she seems to have inherited a curse of sorts when it comes to plants. She has never been able to grow any living plant thingy in her life in her backyard. The closest she came was to germinate some seeds in a petri dish as a science experiment in school which by the way also died a suspicious death soon after a few days. Somehow even though she is a daughter of two big green thumbed parents who happened to love gardening she seems to have inherited some mutated gene which has turned her thumb rather black. Inspite of her best interests the plants she so lovingly would plant (She swears she never mistook the Clorox to the new enhancing fertilizer) would end up suffering an untimely death. So when PC man announced that we would take some of them home with us she almost wept for them.

PC man however was not so hopeless as his wife. He is one of those blessed with a green thumb and so she mused perhaps this time around it might not be so bad. The memory of that poor lucky bamboo plant that managed to wilt away at her work desk just weeks before came in flashes but she waved them out of her mind for that minute. So the plants made their way home into Fuzzy household. They truly were gorgeous and since they also needed some sun (as per the fine print written on their tags) they were placed in the balcony for their sunny rendezuous for some periods of the day much to the annoyance of the neighborhood pigeons and birdy gangs. Afterall the balcony has long been considered as a practice ground for honing their who-gets-to-dump-more skills till then. Anyway as summer rolled by they grew in leaps and bounds much to the surprise of the mom. She was secretly thrilled at having plants at her home at last which seemed to survive beyond that critical period of 2 weeks(ok,who is she kidding,make it 3-4 days). Both she and the little one dutifully watered the plants and soon royal treatment in the form of some expensive potting soil made its way to their pots along with a fancy looking watering can to add to the fanfare. It was party time!!The mom was just short of making a sign and a banner declaring "East or west,our greenies are the best" and doing a cheer leading dance to get the greenies going up and strong everyday. Both mom and little one would shoo those evil pigeons who frequented the place scheming to reconquer the space. The mom also fussed about the temperature in the room by switching off the ac or turning off the oven when the greenies retired for the day or felt like breaking a leg in the living room . She fussed over them along with the PC man and the little one and dreamt of seeing them turn from younglings to adulthood. Now she thought finally we will be able to live like normal people and relished the day when she can have her own lovely lawn and a kitchen garden. It was all a dream come true.

But alas, it was not meant to be. Soon one fine day little one decided to play with the water can in the balcony and ended up flooding the plants. Mom alarmed at this tried to siphon the excess water off and let them dry a little more in the sun thinking that would help. And soon after they started to grow a little brown in the edges. Mom thought perhaps they are just sporting a healthy tan and some more water would do them good. So in went in some more water,some more sun and the cycle continued until that one fateful day. The little one tired of how they obstructed her view into the next apartment which housed her little furry friend Mr. Puppy tried to whip the leaves into shape. The plants who perhaps were already on their last waterlogged legs protested back at this meaningless assault into their personal space by a tiny little human. What followed perhaps was nothing short of sheer destruction. Fuelled with a sense of wounded pride this bundle of energy finally crossed over to the dark side drew out her light saber and let loose a mayhem . At the end of the fight all that was left of the gorgeous greenies were some remnants of twigs and heap of leaves. While the pigeons rejoiced at this turn of events the PC man however was heartbroken. When inspite of tending to the injured plants and performing a CPR they failed to get revived and soon the last remnant standing brown twig also collapsed. He alleged that the evil mother daughter duo conspired for this unfortunate event to occur. He accused them to be "Human herbicides" and even has threatened to call the plant cops on them. Well,we can certainly understand that he has lost his mind in the time of grief. This post is to present our side of the case so we will be cleansed of the infamy. Meanwhile the evil duo has respectfully declared that it will be a plant mourning day tomorrow to show our condolences too.

Let's pray the greenies rest in peace.

Beauty tips toddler style-2

Guess the lovely face pack I have on my face??Winter is around the corner people,isn't it time you all took care of your lovely skin. But I also don't want to reveal all my beauty tips all at once would I?So why don't you guys go ahead and take a guess as to what exactly is this miraculous yet proven to be beneficial secret face mask is? Put on your thinking caps and get into the game...
While you guys are busy scratching your heads at that let me give you the next one. The other day I gave mom a lesson or two on how tattoos are the in thing for today's generation. But somehow she wasn't too happy with it. She was seen grumbling as to what all she has to see in years to come if this is just a beginning. But tell me guys isn't this tattoo cool? I say if you want to be in the "In" crowd get one for yourself. Take it from a toddler who had to resort to drastic measures to leave a mark with the help of a marker pen. What does it say you ask? It says in toddler script (I'm sure Ojas,Tejas,Anush,Kodi, Sonny boy,Moppet,Apple,Joyce,Sonny, Anirudh and all bloggyland's toddler gang would easily decipher) "Born to rule". Mom's still grumpy about it but then I always tell her she is getting too senile for her age.

Third and final tip of the day. When you are in doubt how to shake up that saturday night out with your better half or to impress your Boss in that office party I have some great tips for you. Just when you are about to go out go and pick something brightest from your wardrobe and style it up around your neck in crumples and see what dazzling effects it has. And what's more with chilly weather on the way it always helps to have those extra layers. Mix and match people,don't be scared to experiment!