Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Public health announcement

The Fuzzylogic household has been attacked again by the dreaded "Man flu". It got worse by the weekend and seemed to get better temporarily during the exciting Grey cup match and lasted till cheering for the Saskatoon Riders and coming back soon after that. This dreaded sickness bug has a predominantly male preference and boy oh boy does it make the affected too tired to lift that finger for anything else other than the remote.

Symptoms include moaning and whining,preference to retire oneself under warm blankets on sofa for at least 3 days. It also causes desire for hot soups,obsessive checking of temperature and emitting loud woe-is-me groans. It waxes and wanes and surprisingly switching on the TV and
football matches seem to make the symptoms miraculously better. It also causes intense thirst for fluids preferably those bought from the popular pharmacy "Beer store". It also causes fluctuations in the energy level of the patient and any suggestions of work other than those involving computers and X box seem to bring on the symptoms more aggressively. The suggestion of childcare and cooking especially pushes the symptoms to I-AM-GOING-TO-DIE levels sometimes requiring admission to ICU. In fact we are planning to contact a lawyer just in case we might need to prepare a will.

Literature suggests that so far there have been no vaccinations available yet to combat this dreaded disease. But intense research is being conducted at the Sick and Tired Moms Hospital and hopefully one day a miracle cure can be found. Meanwhile the women have been advised to watch out for the signs and symptoms of the disease and report immediately to the Sick and Tired Moms Hospital when they come across it at their homes.

Some Do's and Don'ts to women dealing with man flu are:

Do's: Keep repeating "You poor baby,you are being so brave"
Offer plenty of TV time and warm food and mothering,tuck him with warm blankets,get a doctor's appointment by dialing the number yourself (since the illness renders his fingers nonfunctional beyond said remote) and moral support.

Don'ts: Saying "Get your butt off the sofa this minute and help me out"
Can aggravate it and cause him to surf Internet coming up with claims of some outrageous exotic disease and intensify the symptoms.

All women are also urged to generously donate towards research fund for search of cure for man flu. The cheques and get well messages can be directed to Fuzzylogic, Director of the Sick and Tired Moms Hospital, Sicknessville,
Blogland.

Meanwhile we are also releasing this video below for the benefit of general public which portrays a classic case of man flu. A 24 hr hot line is currently been made available at 1-800-MANFLU to answer all queries and concerns.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

22 questions

A classic example of what some male minds can accomplish if left to wander unattended for some time is this tag passed on by ITW who herself did a great job at this one. I take my community services pretty seriously so I am also going to pitch in my 2 cents to help the hapless guy who was so inquisitive about such info about us women species.

1. How do you feel after a one night stand? Probably colossally regretful if it looked anything like this

2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong? Yes

3. Does it hurt? Not as much as answering remarkably stupid questions like these.

4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?Yes and if it's directed at you then probably you deserved it.

5. Does size really matter? When it comes to diamonds,bank balance and generosity yes.

6. When the bill comes are you still a feminist? Depends on how handsome Bill actually is

7. Why do you take so long to get ready?Probably because I had to pick up the trash as well as your laundry off the floor while you were busy surfing through sport channels with your butt stuck to the couch.

8. Do you watch porn, too?No, if I need to watch any hyperventilating,sweaty bunch of people contorting their bodies and doing the same thing over and over again I might as well rejoin my aerobics class. Unfortunately both do nothing to me.

9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything? No. But the bigger it is ,the longer it can go in hastening the forgiving process.

10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us? Not really.

11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat? Could you take off your eyes from those VS models on the TV for a second and repeat the question?

12. Why are you always late? We are never late. You have a warped sense of time.

13. Does it bother you when we scratch? Yes! Seeing you do that in public makes me believe in man's evolution from monkeys. Not much has changed has it?

14. Do you wish you could pee standing up? Having faced pretty bad restrooms sometimes I wish I could.

15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?Stuck with more or less one choice for the male hair you really wouldn't understand the fun of experimenting with the locks.

16. How often do you think about sex? Obviously not as much as you do

17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date? Whatever floats their boat Hun. It's not for me to judge

18. Would you? boats are not my thing,I prefer to fly

19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?Have you considered taking this "Every" guy to a shrink?this guy seems to have issues.

20. Why does every woman think she can change him? I don't think any woman can change any man unless he is in diapers. I don't attempt the impossible.

21. Does it matter what car I drive? Nopes ,unless of course that's all you have to offer.

22. Do you ever fart? Enfartically no,we never fart nor do we ever lie. Believe this and women will no longer be a mystery to you .

Now to pass this hat of knowledge for a few more enlightening 2 cents I call upon Rayshma,Orchi (unless you are already tagged) and Preethi.

Monday, November 19, 2007

When Santa came to town

It was a cold chilly morning when PC man and I decided to be good dutiful parents by taking Ina to the annual Santa Claus parade. So with great enthusiasm we roused ourselves out of the warm beds and duly packed up everything we needed (surprisingly on time) and proceeded to accomplish the mission of the day being getting a shrieking kicking little bundle into her snow suit. Snow suit no longer appeals to Ina's aesthetic senses and she screams murder at the fashion faux pas we commit by getting her into the nasty looking red suit. I picked my brand new red pea coat and paraded around the house feeling liberated at hiding all those extra rolls securely and breathing easy after months of walking around sucking my stomach in. She casted a look of disdain a la Tyra Bank style almost declaring me out of the competition of America's next top model (indulge a poor mom her fantasies,will ya?). So in spite of the rejection I did put my best smile around and took a bow gracefully while tripping over my heels trying to hide the hurt. PC man meanwhile sweetly made us both breakfast knowing that given to both the ladies of the house he wouldn't get any. We gobbled down his waffles and juice and hauled our stuffed selves onto the car to get ready for the day. Being not quite suicidal as to drive all the way to downtown we did manage to find a parking spot at the nearby subway station and took the subway downtown. With me crying for my Starbucks and Ina fighting to keep her lovely head uncovered and a poor PC man catering all our high maintenance needs we did manage to make it to the downtown in time for the parade all loaded with hot chocolate from Starbucks,thermal blankets and lawn chairs. Then began the hunt for the good place. Thankfully we had our well connected croons in place who had managed to save a good place for us late comers.


It was cold and all the kids around bundled up in their snow suits and excited faces were just waiting for it all to begin. We exchanged a look of mutual understanding communicating that universal parent language with the other poor souls who had managed to get here early just so their little terrors could have a great day out. All of us with our big overfilled diaper bags,watching over the little ones praying they won't embarrass us by throwing their infamous tantrums in public we all made such a pretty picture. Ina also made a friend from whom however she soon wrangled out his reindeer hat making the little boy cry and making me want to disapparate from the place. Soon enough we were all involved in a massive negotiation peace process with two red faced kids showing their vocal prowess on full display. We had to give in and finally buy a similar wretched hat just so peace prevailed. Just when we had accomplished that she began hankering for "oolly tot,mama oolly tot" as she eyed another kid licking his massive sized candy to glory. To safeguard the interest of that other kid I managed to whip out another smaller one which thankfully I had a presence of mind to pack and offered her. She smiled happily and settled into sucking on it directing all her aggression towards it and we all heaved a sigh of relief and prayed for this parade to begin faster.

It did and soon enough as the wonderful floats came by Ina's eyes lit up. She excitedly lunged over as the bunnies hopped by and even managed to squeeze a hug from a clown while being scared by a few of them. She screamed in delight as the ginger bread house made its way through the street and clapped her hands cheering Mickey and Minnie in their red car. The princesses floated by along with the elves soon enough to add to her excitement while the bands kept her hooked onto the colorful display. The grand finale with the Big fat man on his sleigh had all the kids chanting Santa santa and waving their little hands in air. It was fun,it was grand and it was magical. For a moment it helped to forget all the traffic jams,driving nightmares,parking space hunts and the cold damp weather and making the whole outing memorable.

As we drove back while PC man took up some serious back seat driving and getting on my nerves(which deserves a whole new post in itself along with why sane men should never make the mistake of voicing their prejudices against women drivers especially when they are in a car driven by one) the exhausted Ina slept peacefully in the car.
We did make it all in one piece with preserved sanity and refreshed minds. By the way Santa,welcome to the town !It's great to have you while we indulge with some seriously annoying commercialized spirit along with the fun festivities.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Will they or won't they?


I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.- Jerry Seinfeld

I would like to introduce our latest set of green victims Mwahahaha! The ever hopeful PC man in spite of our last evil victorious disastrous attempt at being the saviors of plant world has gone ahead and got these poor fellas once again. What can I say?If you look carefully the second guy has already been threatened with deforestation by the capable young hands of the black thumbed junior apprentice of the house. But this time around there might be hope. I'm taking Gauri's advice and talk to them and bore them to death or even better have them either call us on the phone or just email us just to know how we can make them feel more comfortable. Perhaps if they don't make that call we ourselves can call them up and catch up about their boring adventurous plantly life now and then. Crazy?Loco?Fuzzy has lost her mind you say? Aha, Just take a look at this. These bunch of students have gone ahead and answered every black thumbed person's prayers. Now with their invention the happy plants can let the absent minded humans just have it if they dare ill treat them or deprive them of any of their rights. Like this message which was found on our answering machine. I'm sure the next time we repeat the mistake they might get nasty and leave hate messages like "The roses have wilted,the violets are dead. The bowls are empty and so is your head". I won't be surprised if they even start their own plant blogs dissing us publicly for all those atrocious unpardonable plant crimes we committed*shudder*. I think it's high time we got our act together and took care of these guys this time around.

Anyway since I'm also swamped at work and my creative juices are running low at the moment why not make this a poll?Everyone who participates gets a free coffee and donut,yep..no kidding.

So how do you think these poor fellas going to fare in this evil plant plotting household this time around?

Take your pick...

1. Are you kidding?They look already dead!

2. *Casting angry reprimanding looks* You seem to have a PhD in plant torture. I hope they bombard you with nasty emails and call the Plant protective services on you

3. I will be surprised if they even make it through the next couple of days dude.

4. O ye of little faith, why are ye fearful?they shall not disappoint ye.

5. I'm here just for the free coffee and donut. Just give it to me!

As promised go Here and get your coffee and donut. Just tell them Fuzzy sent you and you might get a discount the next time around. Help yourselves to as many as you wish,just so you know how nice and generous really I am. Meanwhile let me get back to some chit chat with my plants and slip them a wrong email i.d.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

To creating new memories

Monday, November 12, 2007

Random chit chat

1. A tub of vaseline+ toddler= a mom seeing her life flash before her eyes as she steps on the glistening ,shiny, freshly smeared vaseline floor and goes ice skating ungracefully, landing on her ass hard with her load of laundry all over her head. Last seen at the scene was a guy who was laughing hysterically with a remote in the hand and a little devil flashing it's short tail and horns,clapping its hands in glee. They are currently being filed under the missing persons report.


Did you know how hard it is to rub that gooey stuff off the wooden floor?more so with a sore hip *Sigh*

2. Dark clothes+Jay walking = Deathwish.

To the lady who wore dark clothes complete with hooded black sweatshirt and a black bag deciding to jaywalk in front of the speeding cars on a dark dim lit road- A poor woman almost died in shock seeing an outline resembling a human form materialize all of a sudden in front of her car and lives today thanking the God for her quick reflexes. So the next time lady when you are on a similar suicide mission it might help if you wore some brighter clothes or even better if you could use that BRIGHT lit crosswalks meant just for crossing and oblige.

3.When you start planning your weekends around the birthday parties your toddler is being invited to is also the time when you realize how your toddler is having a thriving and more active social life than you.

4.You know you have to had a little too much of the movies during the weekend when you look at your lame car in the morning and wish it could transform itself into a giant robot,fight the baddies and crank up the romance by driving us to exotic places.

5. Richard Branson's space-tourism company, Virgin Galactic, has reportedly considered barring women with breast implants "due to fears that they might blow up." A probability as proven even by the mythbusters - Hmm... interesting!*Amused smile*

6. We now can call ourselves with a new name! According to the urban dictionary
dot-comrade-An online acquaintance with whom you correspond on the Internet. Usually a "dotcomrade" is someone you chat or IM with but have never actually met.

So here's hoping all you dotcomrades got to enjoy a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Happy Diwali!!

Diwali then-

A day when I helped conspired the cousin gang to guard their individual cracker stashes like James Bond's top secret mission

A day when mom went ballistic in her kitchen putting Ramsey Gordon to shame with her masterful goodies

A day when next door Leela aunty flaunted her finest jewellery and designer sarees to all the neighborhood women much to their annoyance

A day when grandma walked around the house commanding the elaborate pooja ritual making us jump poking us every now and then with her walking stick to get us moving.

A day when the pets of the house quivered in their kennels and wished they would go deaf by evening

A day when I orchestrated umpired the invariable fights between my little cousins and waved the white flag after ripping off some of their stash to myself as a peace offering

A day when the night would come alive and every street lit up like a face of a bride

A day when the fervor brought out the kids in all adults

A day when neighborhood Sharma uncle and his sons would tout their way to glory by bringing down the street with their famous million fire cracker maalas.

A day when we would reinvent and retest all scientific theories ,devise ingenious ways to launch that rocket which inevitably always backfired and watch gleefully Leela aunty run lifting her precious designer saree screaming being chased by our scientifically programmed mini missile.

A day when we chomped down every delicacy on the plate and waddle around like stuffed hippos burping and annoying the prim grandmom.

A day when we would just rediscover the magic of togetherness and celebrate it all as a family.

Diwali now-

A day when I satisfy myself lighting those tea lights ,candles or pre made ones around the house instead of those authentic beautiful diyas.

A day when nostalgic memories come haunting me

A day when most often light pouring into the house would be from the chat windows and cell phones which ring constantly carrying messages and calls.

A day I call every cousin of mine and remind threaten them they better miss me

A day again when I feel how Ina is growing up missing such a whole lot of stuff I took for granted and feel guilty

A day when we take a trip down to the Indian street and light a anemic sparkling stick or a flower pot exchanging that empathetic look of understanding with another similar home sick Indian family.

A day when caught in the moment and feeling inspired I make another disastrous attempt at some exotic Indian sweet ending up opening the store bought ones for solace

A day when we try to get on with a normal working day with a rather heavier heart

A day when I seem to miss dad more than ever

A day when I do make it a point to preserve that little tradition as much as I can to pass it on to Ina but wonder how much of that can I ever really be able to give? Will I be able to give her the very same kind of fond cherished memories that have come to symbolize these festivals?........

Here's wishing everyone a Happy and prosperous Diwali!and for those luckier ones back home celebrating it do it in style and stay safe. Now excuse me as I take my moppy soppy nostalgic self and try to cheer myself up with some Haggen Daz ice cream!

Monday, November 05, 2007

Letter to an ex

Dear HK,

Where shall I begin?You are that special love every girl searches and seldom finds. Ever since the first time I saw you I knew my life was about to change forever. I still remember that day when that next door phoren returned uncle brought you into our house and called me and introduced us. You looked so fine and dapper in that silver suit and the neat little bow. What a wonderful package you truly were. Dark,handsome,dazzling yet with such a softest heart. You made my little girlie heart go dhak dhak and made it purr much like the engine of that new car bought by that same phoren returned . It started off with one turn of the key unlike our old antique piece of a car which needed to be pushed after stopping ever other mile. If it was compared to cars it was like you were my Lamborghini and I was Michael Schumacher. I was so possessive about you that I would claw the face of that pig tailed cousin of mine who always wanted me to share you with her and make her run home in tears. Even my evil brother was so jealous of us and schemed to separate us by stealing you away from me. The nerve of the guy!But we stood together braving all the bad times and giving two hoots to the outer bedard zaalim duniya (Big bad world). What we shared was so special I know. You were such a big part of my life. Just being with you brought me closer to heaven. My heart still goes putter putter thinking of that first kiss. So sweet and so satisfying. Ah,the melting good times!!

We had to say goodbye to each other very soon after that. Remember how your soft heart broke when dad threw you out of the house unceremoniously along with your silver suit and the bow?I was forced to forget you and banned from meeting you. You know very well that the family dentist had spotted us and outed that to dad and mom. I was threatened with wily sharp scary instruments to let go of you. I was strapped to a fearful looking giant chair under intense light and asked not to meet you again. You cannot realize how much fearful impact that could have had on a little girl. You sang "Don't go breaking my heart" and I sang "I'm leaving on a jet plane",you said "You give love a bad name" and I replied "Let it be,let it be".

So you had to go HK,it was time to move on and we did. When I reached college however I had outgrown you and also realized you were not as wonderful as I thought you were. I don't know whether it was your devdas mood or the gum( not the chewing one people ,have a heart .This is real gum (deep sorrow) of the heart..sniff sniff) of having lost me but you had so many affairs with every other girl I met. And I saw what a havoc you created in their lives. G my once best friend had trouble losing her weight because of your love addiction and she was always worried about her expanding real estates of la la waist land. L almost underwent serious surgeries almost for every teeth and root and canal she had because she had hots for you for a long time. K complained that her clothes had begun to shrunk suspiciously ever since she was serenaded by you. You were such a rogue!You used to cast such a spell on everyone and acted as their agony aunt. Girls especially were attracted to you like a moth to a flame. Whenever they had their hearts broken they all knew they could count on you to make them feel better. But you also made them pay a price didn't you?

But then who can resist true love?You still continued to visit me secretly and I kept trying to fight off the temptation. I was committed and I didn't want to cheat. However what's forbidden is always more appealing isn't it?Remember Adam and Eve,the fools couldn't resist a mere apple and we all know ahem..what happened later. So when you came knocking my door that weekend morning after Halloween in spite of my best intentions and much against my better judgment I gave in to the sin (Did I hear all of you just gasp in horror?) You seduced me with that smoldering come hither looks and serenaded me as I sat at home tending a sick child with nowhere to go on that rainy day. It was as if even nature had conspired. A gloomy day,a cranky child and a husband who was carrying on the most boring conversation about some OMG-we-must-have-it-or-else-we-will-die gadget with another similar minded male homo sapien and the tv showing the most inane sitcoms and antique movies- all perfect for you to have sneaked up on me and caught me unawares. That's when it happened..you and me , it was just like old times. And once I was done I recoiled in horror. Hey bhagwan(God) what had I done? How am I going to wash these chocolate dhaag (stain) off my chunri?Perhaps Tide would help I was sure but then my pre pregnancy skinny jeans heaved a huge deep sigh and mocked me from the wardrobe. I realized just how grave this was!We were looking forward to that tearful reunion perhaps sometime soon. But now after this indiscretion the jeans sadly informed me that the fated reunion would take a long time perhaps like forever or NEVER ever (this is where you all dab your tearful eyes with those fancy perfumed tissues either yours or your neighbors ,do I even need to say that people?what's the world coming to!!)

You,evil you HK,you ought to be ashamed having taken advantage of bholi bhali (sweet and innocent) me. What?you dare say I don't have self control? *Pauses to reflect* well,it has never been my strong point but today I declare I'm denouncing you Mr. Hershey Kisses aka HK and I refuse to give in to you anymore. After all I now have a daughter and I have to be a good role model to her and set a inspiring example. So I will put this one packet Hershey's kisses infamy behind me. Take your silver ,golden or whichever fancy suit you wear these days and get going. Yep,back in that box you came from and tomorrow I'm disposing you all off at the local bottomless pit aka workplace. Yes,that's what I'm going to do with whole lot of you. What?you want a goodbye kiss?unbelievable....just one?? Hmm...if you really insist. But tomorrow you will all be gone forever and don't call me or stalk me through the supermarket aisles. I have decided to turn into a new leaf and on that Skinny jeans mission so stay away!

Dietfully yours,
A slightly enlarged version of an old flame

Friday, November 02, 2007

Hum to yaise hain bhaiyya

So what does a crazy mom who took a day off and a sick kid refusing to sleep and insisting on being in her arms the whole day do? They put on the cheesiest bollywood movie,order in a pizza ,switch off mom's mobile and phone while the miss snotmeister giggles emptying mom's handbag off all its contents and spreading it all over the floor and ignoring all the mess they dance together around the room *kiddo doing the cute head nodding and shaking that little bum putting shakira's hips to shame and mom following her suit * singing loudly in abandon

jeb mein hamari duhi rupaiyya
duniya ko rakhe thenge pe bhaiya
sukh dukh ko khuti pe taange,
aur paap punya choti se baandhe
naache hai hum ta ta thaiya
hum toh aise hai bhaiya ,are hum toh aise hai bhaiya
*wiping snotty noses amidst of little happy claps*yeh apna fashion hai bahiya,are hum toh aise hai bhaiya.........

Tan tan tantan tadana tadan tan tan tantan tadan tadan.....
Tan tan tantan tadana tadan tan tan tantan tadan tadan....

These are moments when I realize one of the reasons why I wanted a kid,I just needed a crazy little dancing partner to match my craziness perfectly just this way!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

BOO!!!

There was once a girl called Ina

who was as magical a witch as Sabrina
when her mom was out of sight
she would be all delighted to take a flight
dress herself and give her a fright
Edward scissor hand was scary you say
wait till this "Puttu maker" hand comes your way
run to your houses and you better pray
that this little monster just stays away
Boo!Boo!will the little monster cry
up and up will she fly
dare her rules do you defy
the poor mom can duly testify
The scary monster night is here
Let's all stay out in the clear
Tonight she will take to your streets
Send her armed with loads of treat


Only the treats will come to your aid
Stay afraid..stay very afraid!!
Tonight all the creatures are on a crusade
Halloween is here which you can NEVER evade


Behold the Boogie woogie Pumpkin girl!
Face is orange and stem is green
Reigned through the night like a queen
Laughs away showing off her loot
Looking cute as always to boot
It was all such a pretty scene
Hope you too had a scary Halloween!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

The Tag of mush

It's tag time again. This time around Parul tagged me to reveal the engaging err engagement story. Without further ado and having arm twisted PC man to give his proverbial all encompassing shrug of a shoulder and final sigh of resignation ,get ready to spread this mushy can of beans onto your toasted tortillas.

It's pretty much a simple tale of how the nice sweet girl made the nice ,smart mallu guy bhel (sell) some excellent papads (or perhaps papadums) and made him skip through some hula hoops before saying an yes.


Having literally given the guy a taste of things to come and bowled him over by her masterful culinary skills during the first meeting needless to say the girl never actually expected to hear from the guy again. But then you see some guys are clearly gluttons for punishments and PC man happened to be one of them or perhaps it should be said he was clearly smitten by the irresistible charms of fuzzy (dismissing the buzz of PC man singing "You're so vain" off tune near the ear) Soon after that he managed to hold a knife to the throat wheedle out from a poor friend of hers ,secured her messenger i.d and acting all surprised bumped accidentally onto the girl online one fine day. He helped her fix some bug on her comp and what's more turned out to be a pretty good listener and claimed that her sense of humor was pretty "cute". He was also one of those mallus who pronounced her name rightly without distorting it and zimply had no plans to go to dubaaii.

And so it began. A chat here and a chat there and soon enough there were chats everyday and every night that it became a part of their lives. And soon enough the public transportation officials were singing praises of PC man for his generous encouragement and moolah they got due to his weekly trips from Pune to the girl's hometown. Soon the girl's dad raised his eyebrows on the soaring net bills while PC man contemplated his new found employed-but-constantly-broke status. That was also the time when he uttered those" three words " during a chat following the declaration by the girl as to how she had stuffed herself up to her nose attending a wedding feast. She still feels those gluttony confessions perhaps made her even more irresistible. Who can resist a chick who can confess freely how she is a such a fine connoisseur of food,none I tellya. Gluttony girlfriends are the in thing and mucho in demand.

The girl however took her time. She wasn't sure she said. Who knows whether this sweet talking guy turns out to be a stalker,or worse an axe murderer and wanted in three states. A girl had to take her time she thought. She said she would be glad to be friends. The guy sweetly agreed bidding his time to wait for the red signal to turn green. But the chats and calls and visits continued. He listened,he cared ,he made her laugh,he was supportive and had a disarming smile.

He was always very organized while her other name would have been chaos

He was calm and patient while she lost her cool in no time

He was a stickler for rules while she even drove like a menace on two wheeler with utter disregard to traffic rules. He said one has to write a will and have a death wish before hopping onto her bike and she said suit yourself and walk.

She had a good hand at drawing and sucked at painting while he painted like a dream

She loved to dance whereas he has been one of those rhythm-less creatures born with two left feet . His dancing always looked like a bad imitation of shammi kapoor(He blamed it on the high standards set by the filmi heroes of malluwood gyrating against gravity and sheer mass in mundus)

She devoured books like there was no tomorrow while he blasphemously claimed books are a waste of time

She was technically challenged while he was a technical genius

She loved dogs and he thought the best pets were fish

She was a chatterbox and outgoing while he was a man of few words

He loved his chicken while she wanted to adopt the chicken and take it home.

But they did fit together pretty perfectly. And slowly she began to appreciate what they had.

At the end of 2 years ,7 months and 15 days there was a walk in the park and then the guy went down on his knees and amorously with a gorgeous big rock amidst of the beautiful flowers proposed marriage. Then a sentimental bollywood tune played in the background while the girl dabbing her eyes with tears and sniffing into her expensive handkerchief and hands to her mouth in shock and uttering "Yes,oh yes"

That's so NOT how it went.....

They sat at the lake watching and commenting on how all the aunties and uncles who came for their evening jog seemed more interested in catching up on gossip and ironically devouring plentiful pani puries and gobi manchuries while commenting on the young couples who sat there on the benches stealthily and casting those incredulous you-shall-burn-in-hell look their way.

PC man- You do realize we just got fleeced off that last 50 rupees we had by that old woman don't you?

Fuzzy- I told you she was no face reader or an astrologer. You didn't have any 10's or 20's?Who gives a lame old lady con 50 rs??

PC man- She looked very old and seemed like she needed it more than us.

Fuzzy- So you realize we have to now walk all the way back home right due to your generosity towards dire pretending to be needy people?

PC man- It's all right. It's a beautiful evening to take a walk

They walked and it started to drizzle lightly as he gallantly gave his jacket to her and held her close.

Fuzzy- Hmm..it sure is a beautiful evening

PC man- I do wish we can be together this way always

Fuzzy- *pondering over that sentence* You mean legally?

PC man- *calmly taking her hand* Yes,legally . So what do you say?

Fuzzy- Hmm..Do you snore when you sleep?

PC man
- No

Fuzzy- Good and can I still have a dog at our home in non-negotiable terms.

PC man- All right but I can't clean after it

Fuzzy
-That's ok. And I suck at cooking and I hate doing dishes

PC man- I won't complain. I can also cook and we will get a dishwasher or a maid.

Fuzzy
- I like squeaky clean bathrooms

PC man
- No probs,I promise I won't be a slob.

Fuzzy
- In that case I would say an yes.

PC man- *Doing a jig* I never thought this day will be here

Fuzzy- But you do know you still have to go down on the knees and do the ring thingy right?Thanks to that old lady I'm letting you off the hook today.

He did go down on the knee with the ring and all that soon enough.

And that was just a beginning...

Now to tag some more for the same. I tag Rayshma,Lavs and Nainaashley. Let's hear the story girls!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Missing in action

Have you seen this woman?

She was last seen blogging around this blog and has not been heard of for some days now. All we found is this picture and we have some reasons to believe that this very likely could have been her.

The features which helped us pin her down:

1.Most of the days she wakes up late having forgotten to set the alarm the previous night and is seen muttering to herself that she is running late while she carries the kid to drop off at the sitters. Then remembers she hasn't turned off that iron box and frantically calls her hubby to see if the house is already on fire.

2. Burns atleast one breakfast ,an occasional lunch and dinner almost every week due to her brilliant multitasking abilities . Sometimes she is seen shaking her fist at the smoke alarm blaring on some burnt toast or potatoes when it happens before chaos ensues.

3. Swears at the evil scale and calls upon it's death saying it's gone over to the dark side and it better not conspire in this weighty coupe being staged against her.

4. Grooms herself in record time and knowingly ignores that small suspicious unidentified stain on the sweater.

5.Reaches 20 minutes late to work and hopes no one notices,blames it all on the "lazy husband and kid " phenomenon.

7.Sneezes a couple of times and wipes her reddened nose a little harder in order to irriate her germ phobic co worker just for kicks.

8. Remembers she forgot her lunch in the refrigerator and perhaps even left the trash bag at the door.

9.Forgets at times to fill up the gas and ends up at times taking the wrong exit (blames it on the Tim Horton's coffee she missed that evening)

10. Gets caught in rain without the umbrella all the time and ends up looking like an electrocuted wet cat when she goes to pick the kid up.

11. Kicks herself for forgetting that she had to go help a friend in packing stuff to move after the friend leaves a superlatives filled message on her answering machine reminding her of the same.

12. Smiles through clenched teeth when hubby calls to remind her of his evening office party and her turn to put the toddler through bath and bed and then loses balance tripping over the lego pieces and lands on her nose.

13.Falls on her feet and thanks the lord after finding some frozen pizza inside the fridge so she doesn't have to cook for the night

14. Feeds and packs off the bouncy toddler to bed and fixes a glass of wine,thinks of her blog and sighs ,thinks of her gym membership and a ballooning back with a much deeper sigh, then passes off on the sofa while trying to catch up on the desperate housewives along with her pending work snacking on some potato chips for solace.

We are currently trying to dig her out and get her to finish some of the tags that she has been accumulating at her blog along with her growing laundry at home which threatenes to flow out of her door and cause a tsunami into the neighbor's house. We think it being friday and all she ought to be restored into a happier mood effortlessly. Nothing that a weekend and some lazy cocktails can't fix. Meanwhile keep her in your thoughts and wish her speedy recovery.