Directile dysfunction syndrome
What really is the deal with men and asking for directions?I have struggled with this perennial and probably age old question as ancient as dinosaurs or even more for all my life.Maybe I'm generalizing too much and perhaps there are males out there who do ask for directions but frankly I'm yet to come across one such man.This I mind you is not about any battle of the sexes because I admit I'm directionally challenged but the difference is when I'm lost I admit it and not stand there like a stubborn Oaf!
All the males I have known both as friends and family have given me every reason to believe there has to be some biological explanation to this mystery.Why is that they refuse and sometimes find themselves incapable of moving in any other direction than the one they have decided in their deepest, truest self to be the Only 
Right Way?Is it some form of directile dysfunction?My dad would never ask for directions even when we would get lost and end up going in circles for hours together,for all the times my mom asked him "Do you think we are lost?" he would look straight ahead and reply "I know where I'm going" so what it would take us 4 hours to get to a place where we were destined to reach within a hour!"Asking for directions is not for men" my dad would retort if pressed.Then there was my brother who took us for a spin in his new car and suddenly forgot the way back home and kept driving miles and miles into nowhere and not once admitting he was lost and stopping to ask a passerby or atleast consult the map. And my hubby also joins the elite list of men who don't feel the need to ask for directions.Be it driving or fixing,assembling something at home,it's all the same.
Picture this scene driving around the beautiful Quebec city after a nice dinner with a pregnant wife who still suffered from morning sickness who suddenly realizes that the road somehow doesn't seem familiar and the drive to the hotel was taking far too long.
Wife:Honey,this doesn't look familiar,are you sure this is the road to the hotel?
Hubby:Ofcourse,you don't worry,I know where I am going
The drive continues for another 20 minutes,now all they can see is a lonely stretch of road between creepy looking trees and not a soul in sight or any signs of human existence whatsoever.
Wife:I think we are lost?are we lost?
Hubby:No,I don't think so,you perhaps don't remember how it looked in daylight,it just looks different in the night
Wife:I don't like this road,it looks lonely and creepy
Hubby:Yes,doesn't this look like the road they take in that movie "Texas chain saw massacre"
(bad bad bad time to say a joke like that #$#$%!!) 
Wife:Shut up,I hated that movie,I hate all horror movies.I think we are lost,we should turn back and go
Hubby:I think we are somewhere near the hotel
Wife:Are you kidding me?This road is leading nowhere,I clearly remember the drive from the hotel to the downtown Quebec wasn't this long,and there were a whole lot of gas stations and restaurants on either side.
Hubby:hmm.I may have missed that exit that's all,let us turn around and go back to downtown and then take this road again
Wife:Let's turn back and maybe ask the directions at the first gas stations we see
Hubby:I don't think we are lost, I just have to drive down again to downtown and take the road from there
Wife:I think I'm feeling sick,I need my barf bag now!I told you to pick it up before we left where is it?
Hubby:I thought you were picking it up,I don't know where it is
Wife:I NEED IT NOW 
Hubby:Just don't get tensed and please don't spoil my seat by puking on it
Wife:Just get me a barf bag NOW or you will be sorry
Hubby:I see a gas station,I will stop there and maybe we can ask which way to go to downtown and maybe get you something to puke into
Stops at the gas station and the wife gets the bag to regurgitate her gastrointestinal contents and the hubby gets the directions.
Back on the road and after driving for another 10 minutes and wife recovers and looks up to see and lo!the creepy roads are back again!!WTF!
Wife:you didn't ask the directions didya?
Hubby:hmm..I just know this is the way!
Wife:WTH!do you realise we have been driving on this creepy road up and down for nearly 2 hours already?
Hubby:Just relax,by the way how many blankets do we have in the car?
Wife:Damn!don't tellme we have to spend the night in the car?
Hubby:No,no,just incase
Wife:Just pull over the car,I see a lady out for a walk with her dog,let me ask her
Hubby:I don't think we should,do you not remember Texas chain saw massacre?
Wife:$%^& that movie,I don't care if this lady turns out to be a ghost,I will ask her.
They stop the car and the wife asked the lady
"hello there,we are lost,could you just tell us which road is the one to downtown Quebec,S'il vous plaît ?" (That was the only french word she knew)
That lady looked them up and down,at the licence plate of the car and then slowly said:
"Sorry,I can't help you,I don't speak english" and just continued to walk! 
Wife: &%^$###$#$#%$@@@(Insert choicest of the swear words here)Did you see that?She knows and she just blew us off,She didn't want to tell us because we asked in English and not french.Is this some sort of french revolution going on here?I swear I can see the headlines of tomorrow's Quebec news "Haggard angry pregnant woman runs over a old french lady" Just let me out!
Hubby:Relax,relax.By the way I think I see a directional sign right over there.
Wife:I am right now in a bad hormonal state and we have been driving into nowhere from past 3 hours and I have already puked my guts out 2-3 times.Trust me you don't want to mess with angry,nauseous pregnant woman right now,so cut the jokes and drive.
Hubby:Ok,calm down,I really do see a sign though and yes,this is the road!and the next intersecton is where our hotel is.Relax,see I can see the hotel now,Woohoo!
Wife:Just take me to the damn hotel,I need to dunk my head in cold water.
Hubby:See I told you we weren't lost ,I'm not directionally challenged!
Wife : Whatever,we are getting the GPS we saw at future shop last week the minute we reach Toronto.
Hmm..perhaps it truly is a genetic compulsion.I rest my case.
19 comments:
The age old problem. It's 180 around in my house. SHE will drive two weeks before she'll stop at one of 100,000 gas stations we passed, and ask directions. Me? I turn the wrong way coming out of gas stations two miles from home! I have the worst sense of direction you will ever see! But we reached a happy medium, and we never leave home without it. We call it "our marital serenity tool."
Also known as a Garmin 660 GPS!:) Yes, it's expensive....how expensive are those hours of bitter wrangling?:)
Hehe, it is funny. I have a very poor one - sense of direction I mean. It's apparently inherited and and it's in the genes.
I lose my car in the carpark twice and was convinced that someone's nicked it. It is the same reason why i don't like to travel alone.
Well, i really hope to enhance my sense of direction!
ha ha i too hav a bad sense of direction... i can never find my way around a market or car park
Well Fuzzmeister... I don't ask directions because I'm a map reader. Go visit my place today, I just posted an article about this.
If I do need directions, I'll ask where I have a good chance at getting the asnswer. If I'm riding with someone and they know how to get there and I don't, isn't it rude of them to sit there and not tell you where you're going?
Spadoman
(signed so it ain't anonymous)
Hilarious post..I have no sense of direction and am always getting lost,so I have to stop and ask for directions.My husband on the other hand always thinks he knows the direction even when he does not.He does not like to admit that he was wrong.
Hilarious and boy am I digging the images you add or what? I am a very visual person.
And that's why I say buy some stocks of companies that make those navigation gizmos
We know everything - and everyone is wrog anyway LOL - just kidding - I love technolgy - mapquest is my best friend now and it gives CLEAR instructions and its on paper I do not have to remember anything!
That story was FUNNY - I can picture it in my head I was rolling here in Kansas!
Funny post. It's maybe in the genes or alway wanting to look as if you are in charge. :)
TFWS-"Marital serenity tool"I like that!:)Yes those gizmos called GPS are expensive but as you said it's so much better than the battles we have in the car:)I couldn't agree more!
Dr@maDiv@-Lol,I have lost the car too in the parking lot,I almost called the police to inform a theft only to find it soon enough right around the corner or somewhere.Thanks for coming by and hope to see you around often.
ITW-Markets especially in India are like a maze,I always get lost there and not able to figure out which exit to take!I'm pathetic with sense of direction,god knows how many times my hubby would be saying "take left" and I would cooly take right!My brain just doesn't take too good with directions either:)
Spadoman-I read your post on maps.I'm not much into maps,I need just a proper instruction point by point to get to a place.And yes incase you are driving with someone who knows the direction and you don't they should atleast tell you the right way.It indeed would be pretty rude if they don't like that lady with the dog!I still wonder how people can be that rude but then all kinds of people make this world.I would never do that.
Lalitha-Thanks for coming by and glad you enjoyed that:)There you go another example for the list of men who don't ask for directions.I share the pain:)
Orchid-Truly a great idea to invest in those companies.I'm sure lot many would go for it and almost all my friends either are thinking about buying it or have it already,one friend even told me the only reason he bought it is it would free him from having to ask any directions EVER anymore:)
Glad you liked those images.I am also a very visual kind of person and I think images do add a whole lot to what you present and make it all the more fun and interesting.
Baron-Mr.knowitall eh?:)Lol,do men ever accept anything told to them ofcourse except the compliments?:)But I agree mapquest is a boon.It does give such clear cut instructions that I don't need a map at all.It really helps people like me who can't grasp even the basic concepts of directions:)
The story did actually happen and really at that time I remember how frustrated I was feeling but now looking back at it I can't help but laugh.Glad you enjoyed that:)
Sanjay-Hallelluja!Finally someone did step up and admit the truth:)It's indeed perhaps the compulsion to always be in control.Thanks for coming by Sanjay.
Hilarious. But here's the deal: Men are SUPPOSED to know how to get places. When we can't, we're not allowed to admit it. This is a RULE. Women don't have that rule, so they ask.
Have you been out with my husband by any chance? This is chilingly familiar. OK to blogroll you BTW?
LOL, I am dysfunstional. I got myself lost for about 4 hours one time. I was alone & in tears. When it comes to directions & my hubbies drive, I'm happy to just be along for the ride!
fuzzy, my friend - I am with you - all the way. And i also know the answer. its called GPS. Its a lil gizmo - which has truly saved my marriage.
Imagine this - directionally challenged me, non-communicative hubby... tan tana nan...here comes GPS to bridge the gaps....
Maybe I'm generalizing too much and perhaps there are males out there who do ask for directions but frankly I'm yet to come across one such man
No real mean asks for directions. If a man asks for directions he's a wussie. Period.
By the way, this post was hilarious! You have a wonderful sense of humor!
Dorky dad-I sometimes feel men set too high a standard for themselves,it's ok to be falliable and admitting that at times it's not always possible to be right,that surely doesn't make any man less of a man.Perhaps its the society itself to be blamed because it somehow does expect men to always be in charge and control.
Blame it on them!you poor guys have a tall order to fill I guess!
Thanks for coming by Dorky:)
iz-Lol,welcome to the club:)Thanks for coming by and yes ofcourse you can blogroll me,I wanted to ask you if it's ok if I link you too?
Slb-Aww..skinny,I have got lost more than once so I know it can be a pretty harrowing experience.I know its more fun to travel as a passenger than alone.I usually settle down in the front seat with my ipod and enjoy the ride:)
STS-Lol,I totally get you,GPS can certainly be a marriage saver,like TFWS said its indeed a "marital serenity tool".
Dan-Thanks for coming by and thanks for the kind words.What can I say,as I said in reply to dorky dad you guys indeed have a tall order to fill and I guess it's not really easy being you guys!But really relax,it's ok to be a wussie(that's only in your words not mine)once in a while and letting the guard down:)
hilarious!
i, myself, have no sense of directions. so my new best friend is mapquest! the only map that i can read! hubby dear doesn't comprehend left & right... but he'll NEVER ask for directions! guess, as u sed... it's genetic! ;)
Rayshma-Mapquest is my best friend too,it is just what I need,give point by point reference as to which way to go,which exit to take,yes I need spoonfed directions:)About your husband,I think we have pretty much established by the post and comments about the genetic compulsion:)
loll...men and their egos!
Plush-Lol,yes everything boils down that three lettered word for men,isn't it?:)Thanks for coming by,will drop at your blog soon!
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