Patent those ideas

Inventions and great ideas are really a cool thing,everyone gets crazy ideas once in a while but hey don't you dismiss those,you just might be sitting on a goldmine.Trust me once you see how many absolutely weird inventions by people like you and me get actually patented ,you will no longer think less of yourself or sell your ideas short.The world is never fair enough for people who think my friends,just take a look at these patented ones and take heart!You think your ideas won't get patented you are so wrong.

1.Brain Buzzer:How many times have you fallen asleep at a boring office meeting,or on the phone with a client who hams,or on a not so hot date,driving and yes during those boring classroom lectures.Don't you worry anymore,the brain buzzer is here!This will save you from being subjected to the embarassment of being woken up, being poked or even drenched in cold water to deliver you from the deep slumber.To use; simply bite down on the vibrating wand (the small end please) and vibrations are transmitted to the brain, buzzing you awake without aggravating your neighbors. Many thanks to the Thinky Corporation of Tokyo, Japan for this absurd invention.
We all can use one can't we?

2.Hijacker injector-Straight from the US Department of Homeland Security wish list we present you the Hijacker injector.You will be surprised to know this idea dates back to 1974 by someone who was obviously thinking ahead of his times.So the deal is you have a hypodermic needle injector built into the seat!Ingenious!So provided the neatly dressed hijackers are the kind who would take turns and retire to their seats after stating their demands and even buckle up,the crew can gently switch on that switch which operates this while pretending to fix up a nice shot of whiskey or anything (they will need something to calm their nerves,Hijacking is a stressful thing I'm sure) for the guys and wham!the hypodermic injection apparatus will drive the needle of a hypodermic syringe through the seat cushion, into the passenger's butt to instantly sedate or kill the passenger(ouch) However the problems are who can have access to these switches?and what if someone mistakenly presses the wrong one?(oh dear god)and how about inserting this device to even toilet seats?(its possible isn't it?)and yes how about adding some mild sedators to the list to help the passengers who have fear of flying?and the most important of all what if the hijacker doesn't want to sit down?lots of queries still to be answered!

3.Baby Patter-It's a wellknown fact that parents of any new born babies are sleep deprived(you didn't know?well you snickering wise guy/gal,may you be bitten by exotic bug causing insomnia) According to our inventor; "it is sometimes difficult for the infant to fall asleep, and the parent must resort to patting the baby to sleep by repeated pats upon the hind parts thereof". That's right, "hind parts thereof" to the inventor, "baby's butt" to you and me.So till now you stay awake till the tiny tot plops. With the motorized Baby Patter, parents can go back to sleep and let the mechanized robot arm comfort Junior back to sleep with a periodic patting on the rump. It looks like you need to line Junior up just right to get the proper pat and one thing we don't see is a timer. So lets hope he doesn't turn around in his sleep because Mom was right, you could poke an eye out with that thing!And it's still a bit disturbing though if the infant memory gets filled with frightening images of the inhuman giant robotic arm patting his butt while he slept,I hope the trauma isn't everlasting.And another question is can it be used for the adults to just get the snoring spouses out of their bed when they refuse to wake up inspite of the baby's deafening cries on their turn?Hmm..I can think of a whole lot of other uses for this thing!

4.Toilet timer:Is your other half or the children of the house spending a whole lot of time in the bathroom and a lot of bad blood flows in those mornings when each one is at each others throats to get to the bathroom?Our inventor says that often, many people have to use one bathroom, creating a serious need for bathroom time awareness(don't we all agree)Time is of the essence. Time is money. Time waits for no one. Time to get off the throne! And how do you know when it's time to get moving? With the handy, dandy Toilet Timer!Tada!Well some might want to know why not put a click in the bathroom for the same,but hey in this day and age when things are color co ordinated and acessorized who would want to spoil that effect by mounting a clock,perhaps some lovely ceramic fishes and matching ceramic art can adorn the same place.Anyway I think it should come with an automatic ejector so once the time is exceeded you are ejected out of the seat,otherwise I doubt any amount of alarm would get people move their asses so easily.

5.Last but not the least Toilet Snorkel:Just look at the pic and tell me what you think the guy could be doing?1.Using a nifty invention called the toilet phone to send secret messages?
2.Blowing up an inflatable toilet?
3.Having fun blowing up bubbles in his free time?(Hey,the world is a weird place,whatever floats their boat)
4.None of the above and how the hell should I know or why the hell should I care?
Anyway the answer is none of the above.This guy is using the new breath easy, Toilet Snorkel, formulated to provide a fresh air source during fires in high rise buildings.In most fires, it's the smoke that will get you, and a source of fresh air can be a life saver. So our inventor designed a way to snake a snorkel through the zigs and zags of your toilet, so you can breath sewer air instead of smoke.
Hey the idea behind this is pretty noble.But just couldn't we have had snorkelling maybe just from the faucet or any other thing instead of sticking our noses with the snorkel down to a place where people sit and do ablutions.Anyway perhaps just incase your office or a workplace decides to install this you can explain and perhaps even demonstrate the usage now that you know.And yes no need to thank me for the same,I'm just a messenger:)

Well so doesn't this give you hope?So brush up your brain with that brain buzzer and let those ideas flow.I will leave you to do your thinking!:)Go here or here to see some more brainy inventions,I knew I should have patented my ideas of floating furniture and a human car wash idea before someone stole it from my brain.Dang!