My memo to my mom Fuzzy

Hi Folks,I'm Ina I guess my mom Fuzzylogic has been going on and on about me so I take it that you guys all kind of know me and so I need not introduce myself.Don't let her fool you with all those sweet things she says, I'm here today to present my case to my mom and let her know the things that's been kind of bothering me lately.You see I have always wondered what she keeps doing on this laptop of hers everyday for few hours,you know its like I have to actually vye for attention with this big screen fella.So I thought I'd check this big fella today and see what has he got that interesting.He does look like a pretty bright chap and I have heard him play some good music and even making my mom laugh,he is surely not thinking of taking her away from me do you?I'd smear all the peanut butter I have on his face and remove his so called keys(I think he is handicapped,you see I never see his legs or hands) and pull out his power cord(you know I have been subtly trying to hint him to stay off from enamouring my mom and just to give him a taste of how miserable I can make his life) I am even planning to get the puppy to pee on him,all in all I can fight the battle,puh!I don't think he'd last even one round!Anyway I digress as I said I'm here to write a memorandum to my mom.So let me get to it.

To:My mama Fuzzylogic

Re:your little daughter Ina

So,let me come straight to the point Mum.Until few months back things really were going pretty smooth in my life.Ok,why beat around the bush and lie to you,actually I think things could really have been better.Lately you've been making that "mean" face at me a lot and sometimes you do tend to vent a lot on the phone about me to granny.Ok,I will go easy on you as you are a first time parent but I can't promise it's always going to be this way,you better toughen up,things are going to get lot more tougher as I grow up.Also I have been noticing you are getting hassled with even the tiniest of things,like the other day when you put my bottle inside the oven and my potatoes inside the dishwasher.I think we really need to talk.

First things first:

1.Stop reading those parenting books and visiting those websites.I agree some of those books look pretty and has a lot of baby pics in them and are really colorful.Maybe you will find a few pointers in them but you see I'm actually very unique.I can tell you what I really want if you would play more often with me than reading those books and wasting both of our times.I can even share that pieces of cheese I find in the corners with you and we can have a fun time!

2.Tell dad to stop playing that really irritating Baby Einstein videos,I'm sick of hearing that boring music as well as those dumb looking images they show,how can that make me smart I want to know.All it usually makes me is crawl near the tv and switch it off(by the way,just to let you know I now know how to switch it on and off,including the home theatre receiver,beleive me it's kind of fun) and I love watching those kick ass videos on music channel,tell dad to keep up with the times!

3.Really stop getting me those annoying toys which make those jingling noises dumb sounds and sings pathetically some innane nursery songs,what do you take me for?I would really love to experiment more in my own way,and by the way next time you take me to the toy store can you please ask me what would I prefer?see I even said please.I do find the kitchen stuff you use very interesting,did you know that if I bang it hard and long enough it does have such a musical quality about it much better than those which the toys make.I would like to submit a request that you allow me more access to those cupboards and cabinets which house these interesting gadgets and tools.

4.Don't feed me things that are not in your plate.I never see those carrots,broccoli or peas feature daily on your plates.I know I'm willing to experiment and I'm at a stage where I should be tasting a whole variety of flavours but you see I too have my limits.Don't look at me and ask again and again whether I want cheese when I say "eeezzz" yes I do mean it as cheese and ofcourse I want it,why would I say it otherwise?And yes I love throwing the peas on the floor and squashing them and smearing them all over the high chair.Keep that tissue away from me while I'm at it.If you can't have it then take those peas off my plate please.Did you notice how my hair stands all straight when I use them as a hair gel,you never seem to notice how fashionable I'm being instead of trying to scoff and discourage me from doing them.No one recognizes the diva in the making.I demand my individual right to be messy.

5.I love going to Uncle A's place often,you know he is the only guy who allows me to take an easy stroll all around his house and play with his dvd player and he didn't even mind that I broke one of his favorite christmas tree ornaments the other day.You should take me to such places instead of the ones where I am forced to sit on your lap or on the stroller while you guys sit around and make boring conversations.I also don't like those negative intonations like "stop,no,don't" from your talk.They really bug me.

6.Last but not the least yes I like to repeat things and do same things over and over again.I don't like the way you take a deep sigh when I expect you to lift me up one more time and sing that song "Pat a cake".Get used to it!You are going to be doing a lot more of repetitions soon.By the way don't think I haven't noticed how even you and dad keep looking at the same things over and over again whenever we go to that food store.By the way that reminds me get some of that pear juice for me the next time we go to that store,I sort of love that taste and that small pen which lights when I shake it is pretty cool too,would love to have that one.Just add it to my wanted list.

Ok mom,I think that's it for now,keep watching for more memos as and when I feel the need.By the way I do love you a lot more than you know!

Hey folks,thanks for letting me submit this memo.All of you take care and thanks for being here with my mom!ciao gotta go and pee and smear some more yogurt and cheese on the floor.