Just toying around

So Christmas came and left and hopefully you managed to get the toys and stuff that your kids really wanted.Now how about next Christmas?Just have a look at these toys and see if they make it to your list!

1.Gooey Louie:Go ahead take a guess what would be the speciality of this toy?Let me give you a clue,what can all you pick?I think we can pick friends,pick up some take out,pick some dresses yes even pick some gifts,so what does this guy do?well he encourages your kid to pick his nose!
The concept is simple. You have a big plastic head with a big hollow nose. Stick your grubby fingers up the nose and fish out rubber boogers one by one(truly by the look this guy has on his face I strongly feel he gets some strange sick pleasure from having people pick his nose) One of these gooeys however is attached to one of his nose hair( can it be any more gross than this!) and if you pull that one out "PLOP" his brains fly out of is head,Great!So now the kid can know that nose picking can perhaps cause brain to plop out of your skull,human anatomy lesson with fun,how much more educative can it get?Also, when you pull the special gooey, his eyes pop out when his brain launches. Isn't that sweet?To top this the Gooey guy even chats with you as you dig into his nose.When you turn him on, he starts this about-to-sneeze ah-ah-ah-ah-ah and when your fingers go digging, he starts saying "That tickles"! or "Pick me a winner"!
Truly I'm lost for words.

2.Gassy Gus- This toy will be hitting the market soon and claims that it will be causing bouts of laughter and fun for both kids and parents.And what do you think this toy does?yes it does exactly what the name suggests.A 3-Dimensional character, Gus sits comfortably in an easy chair and is fed different food cards. Food like a chili dog or macaroni and cheese have values which correspond to the amount of times players pump Gus’ head(there you go ,more bashing and bumping) Each pump expands his belly and sooner or later, Gus lets it rip(Great,eh?Is this going to replace all those other farting toys out there I wonder.Watchout next Halloween your kid just might want to be the mighty Gassy Gus won't that be funny?)Healthy food cards and extra pump cards create additional havoc and laughter(Bring it on,let's play burpy burpy and gassy gassy) But I won't be surprised if the Big fat guy Santa prefers this,maybe this issue is something close to his heart and he can totally sympathize with Gus.

3.Barbie's new dog Tanner-Will this Barbie stop hoarding things?apparently she hasn't,so here goes Barbie and her new Dog Tanner.With his chiselled looks and nippy little sports car, we always suspected Ken might be full of it – but now Barbie has gone and got herself a dog that's gone the same way too.Tanner not only looks like a loveable labrador but also poops like one too. Almost a soon as Barbie has fed the dog its biscuit treats, a little something comes out the other end(I almost chocked on my coffee when I saw this) Trust me it gets better.But, in a move designed to encourage responsible dog ownership, toy manufacturer Mattel has provided Barbie with a pooper scooper and bin too, meaning Tanner never has to leave any unwanted 'gifts' lying about on the carpet(A socially responsible Barbie,who picks after her dog,she can now replace Bush and take over).But something is strange because here the dog eats the biscuits and then poops them out and eats them again(so eating his own crap teaches kids such valuable lessons,isn't that a little disturbing?)

Tanner also comes equipped with dog toys, a bone, biscuit treats, a feeding bowl and a pink lead(Hopefully they are all sold together and not separate)And, just in case that does not get the message across, Mattel has produced a promotional video of Barbie and Tanner playing in the park that shows you how to 'potty train' your dog".(Honestly WHO is coming up with all these ideas and HOW much do they really get paid)

Imagine the conversation at the Barbie R&D(Mantell Inc) department meeting:

"Ok everybody, let's see what we've come up with so far. Barbie has a mansion,overflowing wardrobe,sea of fashion accessories Check. She has a nursery,a playset,even a stable check.She is a pet doctor,baby doctor,a model,a bride,a fairy all check.She even has a boyfriend Check.She now has a cat and a horse Check.Everything packaged well and marketed to attract and trap all small girls Check.Hmmmm.... what are we missing....come on let's brain storm,Yes Mrs.Handler?

Mrs.Handler:Sir,How about getting a dog for Barbie?

Mantell Inc:Excellent idea,yes Mr.Johnson?

Mr.Johnson:How about we introduce a dog which can be fed and which can poop in form of pellets which can be re-fed.Barbie can even pick them up after the dog with a scooper and throw it in the bin without using her hands! what's more we can perhaps later on create accessories for her dog too.

Mantell Inc:Brilliant Mr.Johnson,always thinking out of the box eh?

Mr.Johnson:Thank you Sir,This will definetly trap all those parents who think they can teach their little girls the responsibility that comes with keeping the dog and that Barbie cares about the society. Maybe even help her when she runs for President.


Mantell Inc:Absolutely!Ladies and gentlemen we now have a winner!

I can't even begin to laugh.I think the Gassy Gus gave me a stomach ache for not so favorable review,and the gooey man cursed me with some stuffed nose,before Barbie's dog thinks of taking a revenge let me go lie down for a while.Have a great day everyone!